


Bestowal

by scarynoodles



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: But derives elements from both, Crack Treated Seriously, Crying, Domestic Avengers, Fluff, Gender or Sex Swap, Idiots in Love, M/M, Magic, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Mutual Pining, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Not compliant with Phase Two or Three, Oblivious Tony Stark, Parent Tony Stark, Team as Family, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Tony Stark-centric, basically he has a vagina bc magic but he's the same body wise, holy shit that was the tag i was looking for
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-05
Updated: 2018-10-10
Packaged: 2018-10-28 12:57:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 68,185
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10831746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/scarynoodles/pseuds/scarynoodles
Summary: “...But I haven’t even had sex with anyone! Who could be the mother?”“Oh my god,” Natasha said quietly.“Tony, I’m going to put this very lightly,” Steve said, and a strong, foreboding feeling overcame Tony, because if there was one thing Steve wasn’t, it was subtl- “You’re the mother.”ORA misguided attempt at a gift from a powerful cosmic being gets Tony pregnant, but strangely enough he doesn't mind that much.





	1. Month One

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: I said this was gen a long time ago but obviously it's not anymore
> 
> Don’t take this story seriously. It’s not necessarily crack but I can’t really say that it has a real plotline or that it’s going to be high quality. Most of it is humor and it probably won’t take itself that seriously. There’s not super deep characterization.
> 
> I was sort of hoping for this chapter to be longer but there’s not much that happens in the first month, so I had no idea what to put. I apologize for how incredibly boring and empty it is.

“There we go,” Tony said, grinning, as the collar finally fell off of Athena. She stood up, eyes wide, staring down at her arms. She was already looking more radiant and bright, Jesus, what had those people in space done to her? Tony gasped at a sudden flash of light flooding the entire lab, shielding his eyes from the intensity.

When he was able to look back without blinding, his breath caught. Athena was looking like, well, a goddess. There was no other way to describe her. Her eyes were pure white and glowing, her body seemed to be made entirely out of light, and there was a sort of...radiance surrounding her. Tony didn’t know how else to explain it. “Well, you’re looking better,” he said more casually than he felt.

There was a soft smile on her face. “Anthony,” she said, “thank you.”  
  
“Uh, you’re welcome. I mean, you needed help, so I gave it. Though I have to admit, I didn’t think you would be...” Tony made a helpless sort of gesture and trailed off. 

The poor girl–alien, being, whatever–had been brought to earth by the Guardians of the Galaxy. She had been caught by some criminals and held captive with high-tech power dampeners. The Guardians had found her, but didn’t have the time to try and break the dampeners off–even with their own space technology–so they did the next best thing and left her with the Avengers instead. And she hadn’t spoken once since being found, not even to tell them her name, so they had nicknamed her Athena, for reasons Tony had forgotten. Though it turned out to be fitting, at any rate.

“I am a powerful being, Anthony. The dampeners that those–” A distasteful expression overtook her, “– _people_ put on me prevented me from reaching my full potential. But now I’m free, all thanks to you.”

“It really wasn’t a problem,” Tony started, but was cut off.

“I must pay you back.”  
  
“Uh, that’s really not–”

Athena waved him off. “I insist. I can give you anything you desire,” she said, “anything at all.”

Tony thought about it seriously. “I don’t want anything.”  
  
Athena tilted her head. Despite her sheer power, the action made her look young and innocent. Like a child. “Why not?”  
  
He shrugged. “I’m rich enough to buy anything I want, so gifts are sort of wasted on me,” he said quietly. “Not that I won’t appreciate anything people get me if it’s meaningful, but they tend not to, so I’ve learned not to ask for much.”  
  
“There must be something,” she insisted, coming closer. Tony unconsciously took a step back. Then she gasped. “I can see it. You blame yourself for all those deaths?”  
  
Tony shrugged again, deciding not to ask how she knew about that. “It _is_ my fault, no matter what people say.”

She looked upset. “There is no reason why you should blame yourself.” Athena looked away, staring at nothing in particular. Tony opened his mouth, about to ask if she was okay.

Realization dawned on her face. “You are not the only one to suffer. There are so many others, out there, who feel the same way you do. This...this one in particular, his path has connected with yours already.” She looked back to Tony. “I will give you the gift of life. You no longer will need to feel responsible for death. Instead, your life will be entwined with another, and you will be connected for eternity.” Before Tony could ask what she meant, she pressed a palm against his stomach. Tony glanced down in shock, wondering if she really was crazy and was going to kill him, despite what all of the Guardians had said.

He could see through the fabric of his shirt that his abdomen was literally glowing a light golden color from the inside. It lasted for a few seconds, and then it was over.

Athena straightened back up. “The spell will continue to take effect until the next day.”  
  
“What did you do you to me?” Tony demanded.

“I gave you life,” she said, even though that made _absolutely no sense_. “It is the purest form of happiness. Anthony, you will no longer need to suffer. You will have others with you.”  
  
“I don’t,” Tony said automatically. “I’m a billionaire superhero. I don’t suffer.”

Athena just looked at him, really looked at him. “I may not understand the way mortals work, but even I can see that your mind is suffering and that you are not happy. I don’t understand, Anthony,” she said, her voice small, “you helped me. As I can see, you are a hero to these people. You are kind and generous. Why do you hurt so much?”

Tony didn’t have an answer for that. Well, he did, but he figured she wouldn’t like to hear it, so he kept quiet.

“You helped me when I needed it most,” she mused, “so in return I must help you.”  
  
Tony almost responded, but at that moment Steve knocked on the door to the lab. He went over and let him in.

“I was able to talk to the Guardians, and…” Steve trailed off upon seeing Athena. “Oh. I wasn’t expecting that. So it worked?”  
  
Tony nodded.

“Is there anything else you need help with?” Steve asked. “Anything we can do for you?”  
  
Athena shook her head. “No, thank you, Steven. Freeing me of my bonds was enough.” She smiled at Tony, and said, “Thank you, Anthony. Do not worry. Life will come to you. You two will no longer need to be in pain.” There was another flash of light, weaker than the first, and then she was gone.

They stared at the spot where she had stood for a few moments. “I didn’t think she would leave so suddenly,” Steve said, frowning. “We didn’t even get to tell the rest of the team what happened.”  
  
Privately, Tony was not too surprised. She was a powerful being. A goddess, really. It was to be expected that she wouldn’t waste her time with mortals.

Steve shook his head then looked at Tony in confusion. “What happened while I was gone? What did she even mean by life coming to you?”  
  
“I don’t know,” Tony admitted, “but she was convinced that she needed to give the ‘gift of life’ to make me happy. With. Another person? I don't know.”  
  
Steve frowned again. “...Aren’t you happy?”  
  
Tony found he didn’t have an answer.

There was a silent moment, then Steve cupped Tony’s face, forcing him to look up into concerned blue eyes. “Tony, you know you don’t need to suffer, right? Athena was right about that.”

Tony pulled away, shaking his head. “Oh, God, emotions, I’m already breaking out in hives.”  
  
“Tony-”  
  
“Cap, I can’t talk about this. I have things to do.”

“...Okay,” Steve said reluctantly, “but we’re here for you, Tony. You don’t have to suffer in silence.”

Tony just nodded, pulling up specs for a new suit of armor. He expected Steve to leave after that, but after a few moments realized he was wrong.

“What exactly was this ‘gift of life’?” Steve asked finally.

Tony studied the specs, thinking of ways he could reduce the reaction time in the repulsors. And he needed to make the helmet more efficient, lighter. Maybe making it retractable? “I don’t know. She didn’t say. She just sort of put her hand on my stomach and made it glow.”

“...What?”

“That’s what she did,” Tony said, deciding not to dwell too much on it. It didn’t _seem_ like she was actively trying to hurt him, so it couldn’t be too harmful, if at all. He just didn’t understand what she meant by gifting him life. How was that possible? “She also said that it will continue to take effect until tomorrow.”

“Okay, well,” Steve let out a short, almost nervous laugh, “I guess we’ll see what happened tomorrow. Maybe we should get Wanda to check over you. Just to make sure it isn’t anything bad.”  
  
“If you want,” Tony said, not really paying attention.

“You are very calm about this.”

“Oh, it’ll probably come to me later,” Tony said airily, waving a hand.

“Can’t wait for that,” Steve muttered, almost to himself. “I’m going to go get Wanda.”

* * *

Wanda frowned, hands glowing red as she passed them over Tony’s body. Eventually she straightened up and said, “I don’t feel any physical changes, but that’s really all I can tell. You’re going to have to wait until tomorrow to see what happened.”

“Are you sure?” Tony asked.

She let out a sigh, rubbing her forehead. “Sorry, but I’m not an expert when it comes to magic. You’d have better luck talking to Stephen.”  
  
There was a pause as Tony registered her words. “...You don’t do magic?” he asked eventually, feeling as if his entire world had shifted with this one revelation.

Wanda shrugged. “I alter reality, basically. But I can’t do actual magic.”  
  
“...What?” Tony said faintly, wondering if he was actually insane, or if he was in some alternate reality, because he had known Wanda for a _year_. How did he not know what her powers were? Shakily, he hopped down from the table. “That’s not magic?”

Wanda just nodded and led him out of his lab. “How do I explain this?” She murmured to herself. Louder, she said, “It’s not that I can’t, uh, do...stereotypically magical things, it’s that I can’t do _actual_ magic. The kind that Stephen Strange or Asgardians use, or whatever magic that Athena did. It works on a completely different scale.”

“Oh,” Tony said, still feeling as if he had just stepped into an alternate universe. He supposed that made sense, if he squinted very hard and tilted his head sideways. It only made him more grateful that he was a scientist. He couldn’t imagine being stuck with doing some weird form of science that no one else could do, and then watching everyone else do “real” science. “Well, you said there’s no physical changes, right? That means nothing happened.”

“I’m not so sure about that,” Wanda said slowly, brushing a curl behind her ear. “You said it will continue to take effect until tomorrow, so like I said, the best thing to do is wait. I just know it’s nothing malicious or harmful.”

Tony forced a smile onto his face, but it still came out strained. “Well, yeah, I know that. I’m just trying to stay positive.”  
  
She looked at him from the corner of her eye. “It doesn’t suit you.” Then she added, quietly, “I think you should talk to Stephen. He might be able to reverse it if you want it to.”

They entered the common room where Clint was busy repeatedly dying in some shooting game and Steve was shouting at him.

“Oh!” Steve exclaimed, looking up from the screen. “So was something actually wrong?” He glanced back at Clint and said, “Not the grenade! You’re going to–” There was a loud boom.

“Not that Wanda could tell,” Tony said slowly, deciding to not question what was going on.

“I already told Tony this, but I think you should contact Stephen. He could probably reverse the spell before anything takes effect,” Wanda said, leaning against the wall and crossing her arms.

“I tried,” Steve said. “I think he’s off wandering in some other dimension again.”

Wanda groaned. “Damn that man.”

“Wait, what do mean before it takes effect?” Clint asked after his character died once again, setting his controller down.

Wanda shrugged. “The spell’s not done yet.”  
  
“Ooh,” Clint said, “Tony’s going to sprout tentacles. I’m calling it.” 

Tony tried to imagine that and felt the sudden urge to jump out of a window. He glanced outside longingly.

Wanda shot a look at Clint, as if she knew what Tony was thinking about. “Clint, just go back to your game. JARVIS is beating your ass,” she said.

Clint let out a yelp and grabbed the controller, trying in vain to shoot back at the character–who was apparently JARVIS–killing him. Tony fought back a smile, sitting down on the couch next to Steve. Wanda sat down on Steve’s other side.

“You’re being quiet,” Steve said without taking his eyes off of Clint’s game.

Tony rested his head against the back of the couch. “Uh, no offense, but I don’t actually talk nonstop.”  
  
“Well, usually when you’re quiet, there’s something on your mind. Look, Tony, whatever happens, we’ll deal with it. I’ve got your back, and so do the rest of us.” Without missing a beat, he shouted, “Clint, you fucking moron! Why do you keep running right at JARVIS?”

Tony glanced at the screen and found that Clint had once again died.

“Oh my god, Steve, I know what I’m doing, shut up!”

“I think your forty-plus deaths say otherwise!”

“It’s JARVIS that keeps killing me,” Clint protested.

“I thought the point of the game was to kill each other, Agent Barton, but forgive me for being better than you at playing,” JARVIS said suddenly.

As all three devolved into an argument (and why was JARVIS getting involved? Did this sort of stuff even matter to him?), Tony realized that he wasn’t going to get anything else out of Steve. He shared an exasperated glance with Wanda, before he got up and left the room. Maybe it was best to just pretend the spell never happened. Yeah. That would work. Tony’s capacity for denial was superhuman, after all.

* * *

Tony had fallen into a restless sleep that night. Even though he had tried to ignore the presence of the spell, Clint had gotten him worried that something weird like growing tentacles _would_ happen. Upon cracking his eyes open in the morning, Tony groaned and pushed a hand against his face, hoping that maybe the migraine would go away if he pressed his head hard enough. He also hoped that he didn’t have tentacles.

He felt like he was suffering from a major hangover, but that was ridiculous, because he didn’t drink anymore, and besides, he had stopped suffering from hangovers sometime in the mid-2000s.

Knowing that the team would get suspicious if he didn’t show up to breakfast, Tony forced himself out of bed, groaning at how sore his body felt. Maybe that was the spell was supposed to do. Make him feel older than he actually was. Obviously this was going to be–

Wait.

Holy shit.

Holy fucking Jesus on a cracker.

He ran towards his mirror, a foreboding feeling crawling up his spine. There was no _way_. It wasn’t possible (yes, it was, but Tony was in denial).

Tony pulled off his pajama pants, and–yep, his dick was gone.

Replaced by a...Okay. This wasn’t bad. He could deal with this. He didn’t know if this warranted dysphoria, but he could handle this. It wasn’t as if he was dying. Just continue being in denial, and everything would be fine.

“Sir, it appears that you have a vagina.”  
  
Tony snorted, just like he always did whenever JARVIS would say something traditionally vulgar in that posh British accent of his. “Noted, J.”

“I must admit, this is strange, even by your standards.”  
  
Tony pressed a hand against his head, thinking that maybe he should take some painkillers. “Yeah, I...I don’t know.” He was speechless. Amazing. Well, he knew what the spell did now. So there was that.  
  
“Should I call the other Avengers?”  
  
“No, don’t–don’t say anything to them about this, okay? It’s probably temporary. I just,” Tony took a deep breath, “what should I do now?”  
  
“Well, seeing as how you refuse to tell the rest of the team anything, you should probably just go down to breakfast and act as if nothing happened.”  
  
Tony brightened. “That’s a great idea.”  
  
“It’s really not.”  
  
“Quiet, J.” Tony frowned, taking one more glance down...there, and decided that he should probably put his pants back on before he threw up.

But hey, he hadn’t sprouted tentacles like Clint said Tony would, so he could suck it.

* * *

“Well, you _appear_ normal, so I’m assuming it’s nothing too bad,” Bruce said as Tony wandered into the communal kitchen, still in a bit of shock.

“Huh? Oh, yeah, I’m fine.” Tony headed for the coffee machine, hoping that it might be able to improve his pounding headache. Actually...no, he felt nauseous and the thought of ingesting anything only made that worse.

“Are you okay?” Wanda asked as he took the seat next to her.

Tony held his hand against his forehead. “Just a migraine.”  
  
“What? Take some medicine and go back to bed! Why are you forcing yourself to come out here?” Steve cried.  
  
“I already did,” Tony said. “I thought that you guys wouldn’t believe I was totally fine unless I showed up in person.”

The awkward silence proved he was right.

“Okay, do you know what the spell did to you?” Natasha asked.  
  
Tony chanced a glance at her. “No,” he lied.

“I can check for any changes, if you want. And Doctor Strange is back, so he said he can come over and look at you,” Wanda offered.

Tony paused for a moment, worried that they would force him. “No,” he said again.

“What? Why?” Clint asked. “Don’t you want to make sure you’re not dying or anything?”

Natasha hit his arm. “Clint!” she hissed.

“I just don’t want to, okay?” Tony said heatedly. “Leave me alone.”  
  
“Okay, well, I won’t force you,” Wanda said reluctantly. “Just tell me if you change your mind.”

Steve grabbed an empty plate and began to pile food onto it. “Anyway, you should eat, Tony.” He offered the plate to him.  
  
“No thanks,” Tony mumbled, pushing it away.

They eventually managed to convince him to eat a few pieces of bread before forcing him back into bed. Tony probably should have protested against being treated like a child, but he couldn’t manage the energy. Before he fell asleep, though, he said, “JARVIS, scan my body and tell me what changed after I wake up.”

* * *

 

Tony walked into his lab the next day, hoping he could figure out what exactly had gone on with his body. While it was still a bit difficult to look at himself and know that there was a part of him gone, it...wasn’t too bad? It wasn’t as if he had a problem with having a vagina in of itself; it was the fact that he had gotten it after over forty years of not having one. It took getting used to.

“JARVIS, did you scan my body like I asked?”  
  
“I did, Sir.” JARVIS put up a hologram of his inner body, zooming in on his lower abdomen. Tony could see that he had a uterus, ovaries, the whole bunch. He was too sober for this. “I believe that you have a fully functioning female reproductive system.”  
  
Tony wasn’t surprised. He just didn’t know _why_. What was the point of all this? What was Athena even trying to do? “So theoretically I could get pregnant?” he asked.

“Theoretically,” JARVIS echoed, “though it would also depend on if you’ve ‘reached’ menopause yet.”

Tony glared at the nearest camera. “I’m not that old, J.”

“I realize that, Sir, but you _are_ over forty, and you just got,” JARVIS almost seemed as if he were searching for the right term, “the reproductive system. We can’t exactly tell if you can, in fact, become pregnant unless you go through menstruation.”  
  
Tony paled, holding his hands against his head in shock. “Oh my god,” he whispered.

“Indeed,” JARVIS said dryly. “Perhaps you should tell the other Avengers?”

“No! They’ll just make fun of me.” Tony shivered, imagining all the crude jokes Clint would make.

“I don’t believe it would be with bad intention,” JARVIS started.

“No,” Tony said in a hard tone. “I’m not going to tell them.” He could tell that if JARVIS had a body he would have sighed then.

“As you wish, Sir.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This Wanda is not MCU Wanda, who was done a dirty. Her background and personality, for the most part, is 616 (before they retconned it for no reason). That’s why she and Tony get along. Pietro is also alive. 
> 
> The story also takes place in some weird alternate timeline where Phases 2 and 3 never happened, but there are some elements that remain. For example, Tony still has PTSD and HYDRA still infiltrated SHIELD.


	2. Month Two

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...this chapter turned out really serious and sort of angsty, at least in the beginning, which I didn’t expect when planning this fic. It’s really because I can’t just brush over the fact that Tony's body was, in a way, invaded without compromising his character. It will come up throughout the course of this fic, but there will be a point where Tony will be able to better handle it. 
> 
> Also, I forgot to mention in the last chapter, there is a father, and you will find out who it is. 
> 
> There’s a vague reference to abortion, but it’s only like one line so I didn't bother tagging it.

To Tony’s surprise, the following month or so had managed to pass by without any sort of incidents, and it was actually sort of normal, all things considering.

Of course, he had to come to terms with the fact that someone had modified his body without his consent, and in such a private way, so maybe not so normal.

But he really had expected everything to just crash down around him and for the truth to come out. So far, no one seemed to be particularly suspicious, but maybe that was just Tony being optimistic. There was no way the rest of the team didn’t think something was up. At least they seemed to believe him when he said it wasn’t anything life threatening.

And...things weren’t all that different, really. Sure, maybe his emotions were a bit of a mess, and his chest was sore–and it wasn’t because of the arc reactor. Tony could tell–but JARVIS said that that was to be expected due to his body producing more estrogen (not enough to make him grow breasts or change in any other way, thank God), and that it was becoming accustomed to the sudden change in hormone production.

So Tony was doing...fine. He was completely, irrevocably fine. There was nothing wrong with him at all.

“You do realize, Sir, that the more you say that out loud the more I am inclined to not believe you.”

Tony rolled his eyes and continued reviewing the newest model of the StarkPhone R&D had sent over. Honestly, there wasn’t much he needed to change or to make improvements to. He appreciated how the designers seemed to have become a bit more ambitious and were actively trying out new experimental features. “What, I can’t be fine with what happened now? Do you _want_ me to be upset? And make a note–there needs to be improvements to the voice identification system. I don’t think it’s been covered yet.”

“Done,” JARVIS said, then added, “I do not want you to be upset, Sir. I _know_ you are. Judging by past patterns, you are internalizing your distress and pretending that nothing has changed.”

“I don’t have to listen to this,” Tony muttered, even though he knew it was true. JARVIS had been nagging at him to tell someone, because as harmless as the spell seemed at a glance, it was momentous. A powerful being had literally, without Tony’s consent, changed his sex. It was even worse considering Tony’s history of forced body modification. 

At least, that was the gist of what JARVIS would tell him whenever the topic came up. Tony was sure he was exaggerating. After all, he didn’t really have the right to complain when there were people out there going through worse things and actually having their bodies invaded. So if he told someone, it would just seem like whining. They would probably make fun of him instead, because having his genitals replaced? That sounded like something that would happen on a comedy show. They would probably tell him that he should be grateful to have the chance to experience sex on both sides (though the thought of doing that now, when he was like this, made Tony want to throw up).

“No one will judge you, Sir,” JARVIS said softly, much too softly for an AI. Tony smiled, just the slightest touch bitterly.

He mentally added a sigh at that moment, because he knew that had JARVIS the ability, he would have sighed right then and there. Apparently deciding that the topic was a lost cause (for now), JARVIS said, “Might I remind you that in ten minutes the team is going out to eat lunch at a new seafood restaurant?”

It took a few moments to register, then… “Shit!” Tony cried, shutting down the file. “I completely forgot!” He dashed out of the lab, grateful that he hadn’t been working with anything physical at the time. “JARVIS, why didn’t you tell me?”

“I did just tell you right now, Sir,” JARVIS said in a longsuffering tone. “I believed it was enough time for you to get ready.”

“Whatever, shut down the workshop,” Tony said as he ran to his bedroom, emerging from it exactly seven minutes later, clad in clothes appropriate for winter in New York.

“Oh, hey, there you are,” Steve said brightly when Tony wandered into the common room. Various members of the Avengers were standing around looking bored. “Did you forget again?”

“No,” Tony said immediately, coming up with an excuse that was bullshit even to himself. “I got lost. This compound’s huge, you know, and even with JARVIS’ directions it can get confusing. Hey, what are we all standing around for? Let’s go.”

  
Natasha rolled her eyes, but didn’t say anything, so Tony counted this time as a win.

* * *

The food was Bad. Yes, bad with a capital B. Tony had no idea what was going on. Normally he liked seafood, but this restaurant just seemed to be shitty at actually handling it, because the grilled chicken seemed to be fine when he snatched a bite off of Clint’s plate. Though that didn’t make sense either since everyone else was eating with gusto, and it couldn’t just be the dish he got because out of desperation he had tasted Steve’s dish while the man was looking away and it was the exact same: Disgusting, slimy, and sour.

Maybe he was just sick? Tony _was_ feeling sort of nauseous. Really nauseous, actually, when had that happened? He frowned and stopped playing with his salad, setting down the fork. The sick feeling had started when he had stepped into the restaurant and had only grown stronger once their food was served. Oh, shit, he hoped that didn’t mean they were going to have to deal with some sort of stomach bug.

“What’s wrong, Tony?” Steve asked when he noticed that Tony had barely touched his meal. “Is there something wrong with your food?”

Tony shook his head. “Just not hungry.”

“Then why’d you come?” Clint asked, revealing half-chewed food.

Tony grimaced at the sight. “Not because I wanted to be near you, that’s for sure.”

“Try to eat a little bit, Tony,” Steve said encouragingly, pushing his own plate closer to Tony, which meant he was _really_ concerned, because Steve wouldn’t share his food even if it meant death. (Tony had only gotten that last bite because Steve had been talking with Natasha, who shared a bro code with Tony and therefore wouldn’t say anything). Clint watched in awe as this happened. “I’ve barely seen you eat this past month, you know. It’s not normal for you.”

Tony would have responded, except he was busy trying to swallow back the bile that rushed up when he was hit by the strong scent of seafood. He shot out of his chair, ready to rush to the bathroom. “I–I need to,” he said, and promptly vomited all over Steve.

There was a shocked silence. Tony was so mortified he burst into tears.

Everyone was crowding around him, trying to get him to calm down. What happened after was a bit of a blur–literally, because Tony couldn’t see with the tears that clouded his vision–but he did know that he was being ushered somewhere, hopefully away from prying eyes.

“Tony?” Someone said gently. “Tony, look at me.”

Tony shook his head, instead squeezing his eyes shut as he continued sobbing. There was no way he could anyone in the eye after all this. God, why did it have to happen in a restaurant? If he was still in the compound he could have locked himself away in the workshop, and now he would probably have to deal with PR.

“Come on,” Rhodey urged, “take deep breaths, Tones. It’s fine. Steve doesn’t mind. Right, Steve?” There was a dangerous tone to his voice.

“No? I’m just worried about Tony, mostly.”

Tony jumped. He hadn’t even noticed that Steve was with them.

“See? Now can you calm the fuck down?” Rhodey asked.

Tony let out a watery laugh. His breath still hitched occasionally, but at least he wasn’t having a breakdown anymore. “You’re horrible.”

“Why are you complaining? I got you to stop crying didn’t I?”

Tony sniffed and wiped his face, realizing that they were standing in the men’s restroom. Rhodey was holding a glass of water that he handed to Tony. Tony took it gratefully, washing the unpleasant taste out of his mouth.

Steve was at the sink, cleaning himself off as best as he could, with Sam helping. Tony winced at the reminder.

“No,” Rhodey said, “no, don’t cry again. Look, it’s not your fault, okay? You’re just sick or whatever, we’ll let Bruce look over you, just don’t cry again.”

Tony groaned. “I’m not going to. Please don’t let Bruce look me over. I don’t even _feel_ sick.”

“Wait, what do you mean you don’t feel sick?” Steve asked, staring at them now.

Tony shrugged, shifting his weight awkwardly. He still didn’t really know how to face everyone after what had just happened, and wished once more that he was in his lab. “I feel completely fine, or as fine as you can feel after throwing up and crying.”

Rhodey pressed his hand against Tony’s forehead, then pulled it back, furrowing his brow. “You _do_ feel completely normal,” he said in confusion. “Maybe you were allergic to whatever you ate?”

“I just had salmon, and I’ve eaten that before.”

“Besides, he barely ate,” Steve said.

“Then it’s even more worrying that you just threw up, if there’s no reason for it,” Sam piped up. “I thought it could have been food poisoning at first, but that usually lasts longer.”

Both Steve and Rhodey looked concerned at that, and Tony knew. He knew that if he didn’t say something fast, they would literally drag him to the medical wing in the compound. He silently cursed Sam and vowed to get revenge on him.

“No medical,” he begged. “Maybe the fever will come later, okay? You don’t need to give me a check up just because I have the flu or whatever.”

“...Okay,” Rhodey said hesitantly, “but the moment you feel sick I want you in your bed.”

Tony sighed and nodded, figuring that it was a small sacrifice to avoid getting poked by doctors.

“And what was with the crying?” Steve asked, furiously rubbing at his shirt.

“What?” Tony said, even though he knew exactly what Steve was talking about.

“I mean, you literally burst into tears, and for no reason at all. I’ve seen worse things happen to you and you don’t even shed a tear.”

Tony did know why, and it was because he was all hormonal from what Athena had done to him, but there was no way he was going to say that. He could barely admit it to himself. He searched for a plausible answer, but couldn’t think of anything that would not sound bizarre.

His face must have done something, because Steve just sighed. “Never mind, then.”

“So!” Rhodey clapped a hand on Tony’s back. “Ready to head back out?”

“Not really,” he said, making a face, “but I don’t think I have a choice right now.” The moment he would step out of the bathroom he would swarmed, whether it would be by the Avengers or the paparazzi. He was just surprised they hadn’t already stormed the place.

Rhodey seemed to understand his hesitation. “Yeah, we can’t really sneak out, but if you want, I can try and see what the situation is outside?”

Tony shrugged, because either way he knew he’d probably end up making a scene by paying the staff incredibly high tips.

He did, in fact, pay all of the employees a two hundred percent tip for all of their troubles, and to try and make up for the fact that some unlucky soul would end up having to clean up his mess. Hey, he was a billionaire, he could do whatever he wanted with his money. If people didn’t understand that, that was their problem.

* * *

Tony couldn’t really say he improved after that, because he hadn’t even gotten worse–except for a few vomiting jags. Well, a lot. He didn’t even think it was possible to throw up so much, especially when he could barely eat. Not for lack of trying, because Tony had been getting quite a few strange cravings lately, but he just couldn’t keep his food down. Come to think of it, his cravings were _really_ weird. Once Tony had blacked out after bingeing in his lab and when he came back to himself he was sitting in the pantry eating a raw onion. Tony didn’t even like raw onions, but at the time it had seemed like the most delicious thing he had ever put in his mouth. Ugh. It had taken him forever to get the taste out of his mouth.

The Avengers were starting to get worried, he knew, because his skin had grown pale and taken on a sickly, gray pallor. Rhodey was really pissed about that, and Tony had been subject to several rants about having to take better care of himself.

Oddly enough, though, Tony hadn’t been losing weight, despite whatever sickness had taken its hold on him.

And then there were his hormonal mood swings, which for some godforsaken reason hadn’t stopped. Tony was about to call everything quits and just run away to some remote mountain solely because of them.

Steve tried to talk to him a few times about all the changes Tony was going through, but he always brushed him off, and the team was reluctant to force him into anything, seeing as how pretty much everyone on it had issues with consent, so they couldn’t really do much but watch and wait for Tony to come to them.

Maybe he should have said something, but Tony didn’t even tell people he was dying, so it was sort of to be expected that he wouldn’t mention...whatever this was.

When he told JARVIS this, the AI refused to talk to him for a day. 

Whatever.

Thor had showed up a few days ago and Tony had asked him to try and track down Athena. He didn’t _think_ that she was Asgardian, but Thor or the Guardians–who were already busy handling stuff on some other planet–were the only ones who had a chance at finding some alien. At least Thor seemed to have an idea of who he was talking about, so there was that.

But after that, Tony’s life had once again fallen into a mundane routine of sorts–not that his life was actually boring. He focused on upgrading the Avengers tech, working on R&D for SI, going to meetings, defeating whatever villain had showed up that week, and keeping Peter alive, despite the fact that the kid seemed to be actively sabotaging his attempts.

The strangest thing that happened was probably walking in on Steve looking at, uh, _interesting_ things on his laptop.

It didn’t look like any of the usual sites that Steve would go on, which were generally those social media things that all the kids had these days. Tony frowned and leaned over Steve’s shoulder, staring at the screen, and wondered if he was hallucinating. What the fuck? “Why are you looking at a pregnancy website?”

Steve flinched, badly, and slammed the laptop shut.

“Woah, hey, did you not notice me standing behind you? I thought you had super senses or whatever.”

“I do,” Steve said stiffly. Tony could literally see sweat dripping down his forehead. Jesus Christ, this kid was the worst actor. “What are you, uh, talking about?”

“The pregnancy site you were looking at? Why?”

Steve twitched and glanced at his laptop. His ears were red.

“Were you just curious?” Tony continued. “I mean, it’s not like you knocked anyone up or anything, because you’re not like that, so you just decided you needed to know everything about pregnancy or something?”

“Uh…” Steve looked as if he had been caught doing something a lot more compromising. To be fair, researching pregnancy for no apparent reason was on the odd side, but Tony had seen a lot worse when it came to the team, so he couldn’t really judge.

“So what is i–”

“I think I might be pregnant,” Steve blurted out. There was a pause where both of them stared at each other in shock, and then Steve started blushing furiously.

Tony just blinked, trying to figure out how he could even begin to respond to that. “Maybe you should be looking at a basic biology site,” he said finally.

“I meant that–um, how do I say this?” Steve said weakly.

“You meant what?” Tony slid into the chair next to Steve, propping his chin up on his hand. “That you don’t think you’re pregnant? Because you just sort of said the opposite.”

“Uh…”  
  
Tony sighed. “Why do you even think this?”  
  
Steve turned even redder. “I...eat a lot?”

Tony fought the urge to just walk away right then and there. This was, by far, the strangest (and dumbest) conversation he had ever had. “Steve, you always eat a lot.”

“...Yeah, but like, more than usual.”

“Is eating a lot even a symptom of pregnancy?”

“Uh, yes, it is! I would know that, because I’m...pregnant.” Steve looked as if he didn’t believe his own words. Tony wanted to cry. Though that might have just been because of the hormones.

“I need to talk to Natasha,” Tony said, getting up. Hopefully, she would be able to set Steve straight. Though he was getting concerned now. What had happened to Steve to make him even come to this conclusion?

There was a pause, then Steve said, “Did you know that fetuses drink their own urine?”

“...Why the hell would I know that.”

* * *

When Tony told Natasha about the conversation he just had with Steve, she burst into hysterical laughter. It took two minutes for her to stop laughing, and even after she stopped there would be an occasional giggle. Tony watched all of this with wide eyes. Natasha _never_ laughed. “It’s not funny,” he insisted. “There’s clearly something wrong with Steve.”

“Oh, Tony, you’re so sweet and innocent,” Natasha said, throwing an arm around his shoulders and cooing at him in Russian. 

That was a new one. Most people called him an asshole, if they could even stand being around him long enough to insult him.

Tony didn’t bother telling her that he knew Russian and therefore knew she was currently calling him a “tiny, cute little kitten”, mostly because he wasn’t sure if he was supposed to be offended or not. “How the hell am I ‘sweet and innocent’?”

Natasha laid her head against his shoulder, grinning like an idiot. Tony was starting to get very, very scared. Why was everyone acting so strange today? “That you’re actually concerned about Steve, instead of just realizing he’s being an idiot again. We don’t deserve you, Маленькое яблоко.”

Little _apple_? Where the fuck did she get these from? “I mean, this goes a bit beyond Steve being himself,” Tony said slowly. Yeah, he could get the humor, and if he wasn’t so worried about Steve he’d probably be laughing right along with Natasha, but still!

Natasha lifted her head, looking Tony in the eye. “What if I told you that there is a perfectly reasonable explanation for why he was researching pregnancy?”

“...How do you know?”  
  
“I don’t for certain, but I have a suspicion. I’ll have to talk to him about it, though,” Natasha said. At Tony’s doubtful look, she continued, “Don’t worry about Steve, Tony. He just didn’t want to tell you the truth.”

Tony paused. “Don’t tell me he actually knocked someone up.”

Natasha’s eyes flickered down for a second. Tony could have sworn she was glancing at his stomach. “Not him, no,” she said softly. Okay, what the hell? Before Tony could even begin to comment on that, she said with a smirk, “I’m never letting this go. I suggest you don’t either.”

It _was_ hilarious, Tony had to admit, and just the sort of dumb thing Steve would say when nervous.

Her smirk grew wider. “Good. You’re getting it.”

Unfortunately, the only chance he had gotten to mock Steve was when a villain popped up later that day and Tony asked him, “Should you really be going out and fighting with a baby on the way?” but it was worth it, even through the glare Steve had shot him.

 _Especially_ when Clint stopped and demanded an explanation.

* * *

_Stupid Doctor Octopus and his stupid fucking Octobots_ , Tony thought, fuming. Jesus Christ, those things were everywhere. “Do these things ever end?” he moaned, shooting down a bot attempting to climb up a building, only for another one to take its place. “Where are they even coming from?”

 _“Fuck if I know,”_ Clint said over the comm. _“Steve, how’re you doing?”_  
  
_“I’m trying to hit Doc Ock_ – _”_ There was the sound of clanging, _“_ – _but oh shit oh shitohshit I fucked u–AH!”_

Tony glanced down just in time to see red, white, and blue disappear under a mass of writhing, robotic tentacles.

Doc Ock started laughing hysterically. “Fight all you want, Avengers! There’s no way you can defeat my army of Octobots!”  
  
Sometimes Tony couldn’t believe he was living in a real life comic book.

He shot at as many of the bots as he could without hurting Steve. Before he could get the rest, there was a Tarzan-like yell, and Spider-Man came swinging onto the scene, shooting a web and flinging the bots off of Steve.

 _“Hey, Mr. Stark!”_ Peter said cheerfully.

 _“Thanks, kid,”_ Steve gasped, immediately throwing himself back into the fight. _“Iron Man, I need you to handle Doc Ock, because clearly I can’t.”_

“On it, Cap.” He aimed a missile at one of Doc Ock’s arms. At the last second, it moved away. Joy. “Kid, why are you here?” he asked tiredly.

 _“I wanted to help,”_ Peter said, swinging dangerously close to one of Doc Ock’s arms and moving away at the last second. Tony almost had a heart attack.

 _“That’s great, kid, we need all the help we can get,”_ Steve said. Tony made a mental note to have a very serious talk with him later.

“No! No, there’s no way I’m letting you fight Doctor Octopus! He’s too dangerous for you!”

“Incoming!” JARVIS shouted. At that moment, one of the arms smashed against his side and he went flying into a building, as if to prove Tony’s point.

 _“But I’ve fought him before!”_ Peter protested. Wait, were they still having this conversation? Even Tony was having a hard time keeping up with everything going on.

“After I told you not to! And what happened? He defeated you.”

Natasha let out a string of Russian curses.

“Might I suggest hitting him from farther away?” JARVIS said snidely as Tony managed to pull himself up and fly back towards Doc Ock.

“What do you think I’m doing, JARVIS?” Tony snapped, shooting his repulsors at the arm that happened to be attacking Natasha. The arm wasn’t damaged, but it did retract.

At that moment, Peter shot a web at one of the arms, sticking it to the ground before swinging around and landing a blow on Doc Ock’s face. He screamed in outrage and reached for Peter, who just dodged the arms and began to mock him. Tony sighed and followed Peter, resigning himself to babysitting for the remainder of the battle.

“Sir, your heart rate is getting dangerously high. Might I suggest sitting the rest of the battle out?” JARVIS said suddenly.

Tony shot an arm that nearly hit Peter. “What? Why? I’m not even injured!”

“It is difficult to say right now–”

He noticed an opening and shot forward, ready to clock Doctor Octopus in the face. Then Peter, the idiot, accidentally swung into him and knocked him off course.

“Oh, fu–” Tony cut himself off, remembering that there was a child with them, “–fiddlesticks,” he finished lamely. Distantly he could hear Clint laughing at him.

_“Mr. Stark, I’m so sorry! I didn’t see you there!”_

“I-it’s fine, kid,” Tony said, breathing heavily. His head was...his head...he felt a little bit dizzy and lightheaded, as if there was a sudden lack of air, but that couldn’t be right, if the suit was damaged JARVIS would have told him.

“Sir,” JARVIS started–

Tony startled, mind struggling to keep up. He blinked up at the ceiling. Then he groaned upon realizing where exactly he was, jumping when he heard Natasha’s voice. “Oh, you’re awake.”  
  
Tony turned his head, finding both Natasha and Steve sitting by the bed. “Did I faint?” he asked. He had a vague memory of feeling dizzy, then everything after that was blank.

“Yeah,” Natasha said, and Tony realized she was clutching a small square photo in her hand. She looked down at it.

“JARVIS started piloting the suit after you fainted and took you away,” Steve said. He had several healing cuts and bruises on his face. “And we defeated Doc Ock, by the way.”

“Oh, well, that’s all that matters, right?” Tony said airily, far too used to waking up in the medical wing after a battle. “How’s the kid? Can’t imagine he was very happy by my fall.”  
  
“He’s fine now, but we had to convince him it wasn’t his fault you fainted,” Steve said. “I think JARVIS texted him or something that you were okay. He’s a good kid, you know, very responsible.”

Tony smiled. Peter only deserved the best, and that included compliments. He’d have to tell him what Steve said later.

Natasha took a deep breath and glanced at the tiny photo again. “It turned out you had mild iron-deficiency anemia.”

“How ironic,” Tony said.

Natasha glared at him disapprovingly, despite the fabulous pun he had just delivered. Then, strangely enough, she looked hesitant. “Tony, there’s, ah, something else we discovered while you were unconscious.”

It took Tony a few seconds to realize what she was talking about, and when he did, he groaned and laid his head back against the pillow. “I _know_.”

Steve looked shocked. “You do?”

“I mean, it’s not that hard to notice considering it’s _my_ body,” Tony said, confused that they would even be surprised at that. “Don’t tell me Clint knows.”  
  
“Everyone knows. Well, except the Spiderkid.” Tony sighed. Of course. Then Steve frowned, tilting his head. “You knew? And you didn’t tell anyone? What’s wrong with you?”  
  
“It’s, well, it’s embarrassing,” Tony said slowly, wishing he was anywhere but here.

“Embarrassing?” Steve repeated, voice rising. “How the hell would you think having a baby is embarrassing?”

“Why would you _no_ t think–what?” Tony froze, wondering if he had heard Steve right.

“Your...baby?” Steve said slowly.

Tony let out a nervous laugh. “Don’t tell me someone tried to claim I was their baby’s father again.”

Natasha and Steve exchanged a glance.

“You don’t know, do you?” Natasha asked, gripping the photo tighter. Her knuckles were white, and Tony started to wonder what exactly was on it that was so important to her.

Tony crossed his arms. “Apparently not.”

Steve sighed. “You might be having a baby.”

“What,” Tony paused, mind racing, “what do you _mean_?”

“That you’re having a baby,” Steve said simply. “Natasha, show him.”  
  
Natasha handed Tony the (now) slightly crumpled picture. It was completely black, except for a white blob in the center. Tony stared at it, then put it down. “You got this from the Internet.”

“Ask JARVIS,” Natasha said.

JARVIS didn’t wait. “It is indeed your child, Sir.”

Tony did not know how to even begin to wrap his head around this. And then another question came up.  “...But I haven’t even had sex with anyone! Who could be the mother?”  
  
“Oh my god,” Natasha said quietly.  
  
“Tony, I’m going to put this very lightly,” Steve said, and a strong, foreboding feeling overcame Tony, because if there was one thing Steve wasn’t, it was subtl– “You’re the mother.”

Tony fainted again.

When Tony came to Natasha was yelling at Steve. “I can’t believe you told him like that! You _knew_ he would freak out if we told him too bluntly!”  
  
“Well, just tiptoeing around the matter wasn’t helping!” Steve shouted back. “He was only getting confused!”

“Both of you, shut up!” Helen cried. “Tony’s awake, and I need to talk to him. Either get out of the room or sit down and shut up.”

Surprisingly, both of them listened, even if Natasha glared at the doctor.

“Now, Tony,” Helen said softly, “how do you feel?”

“Like Steve just forced me on one of his daily runs,” Tony said monotonously, mind still occupied with the bombshell Steve had dropped on him. There was a baby in him. Right at this moment, there was a baby _in him_. Oh God.

“That’s the anemia talking,” Helen said. “I’ve prescribed iron supplements that you’ll need to take until we see that the amount of iron in your blood has improved. They’re especially important now that you’re, uh, pregnant. Of course, I recommend seeing an OB/GYN for more details.” She laughed nervously. “I’ve studied the human body for as long as I can remember but obstetrics is not my specialty.”

“Is that really necessary?” Tony asked, a bit petulantly but he figured that now of all times he had the right to act however he wanted. “You’re smart, can’t you just read up on it and be my...OB/GYN?”

“That’s not how it works, Tony, you know that. I’d need to complete a residency, and that can take years. So unless you’re willing to hold on to your baby for that long, you’re going to need a different doctor.”

“Wait, do we even know if Tony is keeping the baby?” Steve said suddenly. “I mean, what if he doesn’t want to? We can’t just force him into it.”

“I’m keeping my baby,” Tony said with finality. He was probably being impulsive, but whatever.

Natasha studied him intently. “You’ve known about this for five minutes, and you were unconscious for three of those.”

“I’m keeping my baby,” Tony repeated. “There’s no way I’m giving it away, or a…” He couldn’t even say the word. Sure, he didn’t care if other people did it, but he didn’t think he could go through with an abortion himself. Tony could admit he was an idiot about his own feelings, but he knew himself well enough to know that he’d regret getting an abortion and giving up what was probably his one and only chance to have a child.

There was a part of him that had always wanted children. He had just never indulged it, because, well, he would be a horrible parent. He would ruin it before it could even speak. But that was before he was...forced into the role. Tony had a–a responsibility, or something, towards this child. Giving up the child would make him feel horrible, like he didn’t at least try–even though he knew everyone else would disagree. 

And Tony...could admit he wasn’t heartless. He didn’t try to be. He’d probably grow to love the kid eventually. Peter had grown on him, after all, and so had many other kids he’d talked to several times. So it wasn’t as though he was condemning the child to a loveless home, not like what his own dad had done to him.

“Hey,” Natasha said, “no need for that kind of thinking.”

“What, so now you can read minds too?” Tony said.

“Yes,” she said with utmost seriousness.

Helen cleared her throat. “Anyway, Tony, it’s good that you’ve already made your mind up, but don’t be ashamed if you get doubts later on. Having an unplanned child is shocking, and not everyone is prepared for it. Not to mention that it’s a lifelong commitment, so it can be difficult to adjust.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Did you write that speech yourself or did you get it from the Internet?”

Helen’s blush told him the answer.  
  
Tony grinned. “Thanks, Helen, but I think I’ll be fine.” That was a lie, he just wanted her out of the room so he could freak out in peace. _Goddamn Athena, or whatever the hell her name is_ , he thought.

She smiled back. “I’m happy for you, Tony. Do you have any other questions?”  
  
“When can I get out of here?”  
  
“If you feel up to it, you can leave now,” Helen said. “There’s nothing stopping you.”  
  
Tony immediately pushed himself out of bed, blinking when he noticed the photo of the baby ( _his_ baby, fuck) flutter to the ground. After a few moments of hesitation, he bent down and picked it up. Steve hurried to his side, ready to catch him if he faltered. Tony rolled his eyes, but didn’t bother telling him off. After four years living with Steve, he was pretty used to it. Then he stopped. “You were looking at that pregnancy site because of me,” he said.

Steve blushed, and rubbed the back of his neck. “I didn’t know how to tell you that with freaking you out.”  
  
Tony raised an eyebrow. “So you told me that you were the one that was, uh, pregnant.”  
  
“I panicked.”

He shook his head. “You are an idiot.”

Steve looked at Natasha from the corner of his eye. “I know.” Then he added, furrowing his brow, “Where are you going? Are you sure you don’t want to rest more?”

Tony just sighed. “To my workshop. I’ll be fine, Cap. I just need some time to think.” He glanced at the photo, then pocketed it.

“Tony, if you need to talk to someone,” Natasha started.

“Oh my God, I am not going to self-destruct the second I’m not in your sight,” Tony snapped, suddenly irritated with everyone. Why couldn’t they just leave him alone? Did he think he was going to try to hurt the baby, or something? “I am a grown ass man, you don’t need to babysit me.” He held back a wince at his choice of words.

“That’s not what I was trying to say–”

“I don’t really care. Just leave me alone!” Tony stormed off to his workshop, scowling at anyone that attempted to converse with him along the way. He began hammering at random metal pieces, not in the mood to actually create anything and felt marginally better. Then he realized that he was just being, ugh, _hormonal_ again, and then he realized that he was only hormonal because of the baby. Then his mood was ruined again upon remembering that he was now pregnant and probably wasn’t going to be able to handle things in the lab. Damn, this whiplash was enough to snap his neck.

Pepper was going to–Pepper. What would she say? Did she know? Steve and Natasha had mentioned everyone knowing, but surely that was only the team members? “JARVIS, call Pepper.”

It took a few moments for her to pick up, but when she did, she looked concerned. Before she could even open her mouth, Tony said, “I’m pregnant.”

“...Are you drunk?”

Tony was offended. He was very well aware of the dangers of alcohol during pregnancy. Then it occurred to him that she was asking because he had just told her he was pregnant without any sort of context. He backtracked a bit and explained everything–well, not everything, but the basic story.

When he was finished, Pepper was silent, long enough that Tony started to question whether it was a good idea to tell her. He was considering just ending the call when she spoke. “Well, that’s a lot better than anything I was expecting, because you _never_ call me unless there’s something wrong.”

“But what should I do?”

She tilted her head. “First of all, do you want the baby?”  
  
Tony couldn’t bring himself to lie. “...Yes.”

“Then what are you worried about? No, I mean, what exactly is it you’re worried about? The actual pregnancy? The birth? Being a parent?”

“All of it!” Tony burst out. “I mean, it wasn’t exactly planned. I just found out like an hour ago, and I don’t even know how to react. I barely know how I feel right now.”

“Well, I can’t say I’ve ever been in your position, but there’s not really a right way to feel, Tony. It’s different for everyone, and especially you, since you’re, well, a man.” Pepper sighed and leaned forward slightly. “Look, Tony, I know it’s a shock to you. Hell, it’s a shock to me, but you’re just going to have to learn to deal with it as it happens. You can spend all your time obsessing–don’t look at me like that, you know how you are–and planning over whatever, but for some things there’s not really a…’right way’. You just have to learn to adapt.”

Tony’s mouth twisted. He did understand what she meant, but that didn’t stop him from feeling an overwhelming sense of confusion as to what he was supposed to do. “Thanks, Pepper. That makes me feel better.”  
  
“You’re welcome, Tony, and for what it’s worth, congratulations.”

He could tell she knew he was lying, but she didn’t say anything as the call closed off.

“Goddammit, JARVIS, what am I supposed to do?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOLY FUCK THIS TURNED OUT WAY LONGER THAN EXPECTED
> 
> That's mostly because I was originally going to have Tony find out about the pregnancy in the next chapter, but that left some plotholes, so I was forced to fit it in here.


	3. Month Three

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Holy shit I am so sorry about how long this took. I know I said I was hoping to get it up by the end of September, but clearly that didn’t happen. I just...lost a lot of motivation to write this story, partially because i realized I fucked up at one point in the story and now it’s too late to fix it, but also because I wasn’t sure where to take this chapter. And then Hurricane Irma happened (I live in Florida), and then after that my wisdom teeth were taken out, and even after that, I got lost in schoolwork + a general lack of motivation, so...yeah. I got distracted. Let's just hope the next chapter won't take almost half a year.

“Tony, I’m sorry,” Thor said the moment Tony walked into the kitchen in order to fulfill his latest craving. He was sitting at the table with a bowl–though it was really a large pot–of Froot Loops. “I wasn’t able to find the being you were talking about.”  
  
Tony paused, then shrugged. He grabbed one of the boxes of Froot Loops sitting around and started to eat them dry. “Eh, that’s okay. There’s not much she could have done anyway.” Sure, he was a little bummed that he wouldn’t get any answers, but overall he was...content right now. He had grown to accept the pregnancy. That didn’t mean he wasn’t still entirely stressed over the fact that he was suddenly going to become a parent, after a lifetime of being convinced that he would ruin any child he came near, but he didn’t have as many moments where he realized there was a tiny human being inside of him and that one day, it would come out.

Thor nodded, and took a bite of his cereal. There was a time where Tony would have found that a spectacle, but by this point a literal god sitting around in Pokémon pajamas and eating children’s cereal for dinner was a normal sight. “Do you know what she did to you?”

Tony didn’t even blink before speaking. “Uh, she got me pregnant.”  
  
“...Oh.” There was a pause. “Did she actually–”

“No, she’s not the ‘father’,” Tony sighed. “I have no clue who it is, only that there is one. And I’m sorry for making you run around aimlessly. If I had known you would spend so much time looking for Athena, I wouldn’t have asked you.”

“It’s...really not a problem,” Thor said. “I would have gone looking for her even if you didn’t ask me. If she had harmed you, I would never have forgiven myself.” Without giving Tony a chance to even begin to respond to that loaded statement, Thor smiled, and his eyes strayed down to Tony’s belly. “I see the little one is already showing.”  
  
Tony glanced down and groaned, regretting his choice to wear a tight shirt. He, of course, had noticed the slight bump the moment he woke up, but it was a different thing entirely if other people were noticing it. “Is it supposed to happen this soon?”  
  
“I can’t say.” Thor shook his head. “I don’t know where all those stories came from but Loki was never actually pregnant with a horse.”  
  
“...I...did not know that was a thing, and I’m wishing I still didn’t,” Tony said slowly, doubt creeping in on his mind. Athena did mention there was a father, but she never specified whether the father was _human_. Oh, God, Tony didn’t know if he would be able to handle giving birth to some alien creature. He pressed a hand against his mouth, suddenly feeling nauseous.

“Tony, are you okay?” Thor asked, standing up and coming closer.

Tony swallowed harshly, willing the nausea away. “I’m fine, it’s just…” He hesitated, wondering if he was stupid for worrying. “What if the baby isn’t human?” he squeaked.

Thor smiled awkwardly, tilting his head. “Okay, I shouldn’t have mentioned that.” He placed a gentle hand on Tony’s shoulder. “I’m sure that your child will be perfectly fine. But if you’re so worried, there are ways for you to see it, right?”

“...Yeah,” Tony said reluctantly. “There’re ultrasounds. I had one done a few days ago.”  
  
“Then you can see that it’s completely fine.”

Tony nodded, letting out a shaky breath. “I will.”

There was something grounding about Thor, despite the general aura of _not normal_ that clung to him. Even more so than Steve, Tony would go to Thor for advice. He was just...so wise, and always knew what to do next if there was a problem.

Tony found that he was already becoming calmer. Deciding to change the topic, he said, “You’re staying now, right? Not leaving anytime soon?”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Thor said. He grinned, and slowly moved his hand to hover above Tony’s stomach. At Tony’s nod, he placed his hand on it. “I have to be there for the baby, after all.”

“Hm,” Tony said noncommittally, “I give you permission to be the fun uncle, since Clint’s being mean, Steve’s sort of scared to even be near me, and Rhodey’s a dirty traitor who left me for that mission.”

Thor blinked. “Why the hell would _Steve_ be scared of you?”

Tony shrugged, remembered he was still holding onto the box of cereal, and set it down. “He thinks he’ll hurt me, or something. Or maybe he’s just scared of babies or pregnant people. Have you ever seen pictures where Steve’s with a baby? He has that same constipated look he gets while fighting.”  
  
“I thought I was the only one who noticed he looked like that in a battle,” Thor admitted.

“Well, no, it’s pretty hard not to notice. Don’t mention it to him, though, okay? It’ll hurt his feelings.”

“I promise,” Thor said with utmost seriousness.

Tony shook his head disbelievingly. “I don’t know what we did to deserve you.”

Thor smiled gently. “I should be saying the same thing.”

“Ha, that’s not true.” Tony clapped his hand on Thor’s arm. “Finish your cereal and get some rest. I’m sure you didn’t sleep much while looking for Athena.”

Thor raised an eyebrow, glancing down at Tony’s hand, then turned and went back to his food. “You will be a wonderful mother, Tony.”

Tony almost protested at that, but decided not to argue the issue right now. He had distracted Thor enough. Besides, Clint wasn’t there to make fun of him and call him “baby mama” again, so it didn’t really matter.

Eventually, Thor went to bed but Tony was still sitting there eating plain, cold spaghetti because currently the thought of any sort of topping was making him nauseous even though his mother was probably crying in her grave.

Tony also looked up what was going on at ten weeks. Apparently the baby was about as big as a strawberry and to this day Tony didn’t understand everyone’s obsession with comparing babies to the size of fruits and vegetables. Why food? Why not, like, a baseball or something?

Then he moved onto shopping for baby items, which was the point that JARVIS interrupted him. It was probably a good thing because Tony had been getting a little teary eyed imagining picking up his baby from their crib and cradling it in his arms, and, oh God, he was going to have a baby.

“Sir, Mr. Parker is calling you.”

Tony blinked and couldn’t help the sudden fear that overtook him. Why the hell was the kid calling him in the middle of the night? “Answer him, J. Audio only.”

The AI answered the call and without giving Peter a chance to say anything, Tony said, “Peter, it’s like three AM.” He brought up the screen tracking Peter’s suit. “I swear to God if you’re out in the streets–”

 _"I’m not! And–and–why are you awake then, huh? Checkmate, Mr. Stark.”_ The suit was still in Peter’s apartment, so either he was at home as well or he was out without the suit. Tony decided to give the kid the benefit of the doubt.  
  
“I was hungry, and, besides, how do you know you didn’t just wake me up right now?” Tony said defensively, hugging his bowl of pasta closer despite the fact that the kid couldn’t see him. “God, I miss when you were still starry-eyed and hanging onto my every word. Now all I get is attitude and disrespect.”

 _“I’m sorry if I did wake you up, Mr. Stark, but I just sort of worked up the courage for this call–and, shit, why did I say that?”_ Peter muttered, almost to himself.

“Language,” Tony said tiredly, because after years of having a kid-friendly brand things like this were basically instinct for him. He could not count the amount of times he had shouted out, “Holy cow!” unironically. He may or may not have had several midlife crises because of this.

There was some rustling on Peter’s side. _“Uh, sorry, it’s just, Aunt May’s going out in a few weeks to visit some relatives and normally I would go too but she doesn’t want me to miss school so I figured I could stay at Ned’s house, but she wants me to actually get my homework done and not play with Legos all the time so she told me to ask you, especially since she wants someone keeping an eye on me if I go out as Spider-Man, and I’m sorry, this was a mistake, I’m sorry for calling you–”_

“Breathe, kid. Jeez, how did you manage to say all that in one sentence?”

 _“I dunno, it just happens,”_ Peter said sheepishly.

“Teenagers,” Tony sighed, wondering if they were a completely different species of human because they made _no sense_. He was slightly worried about his own kid’s teenage years, if they took after him at all. Scratch that, he was terrified. “And, listen, Peter, I don’t mind at all if you want to stay over at the compound. In fact, I encourage it as much as your aunt does because she’s right.”

There was silence. _“...So I can stay?”_  
  
Tony fought the urge to groan loudly. “Didn’t you take away anything from what I said? Yes, you can stay! But it’s not going to be as exciting as you think. No explosions.”

_“Aw, come on! Please, Mr. Stark! I can handle a little explosion without getting hurt!”_

“It’s not just because of you, kid, it’s because of me. I can’t do anything dangerous in the lab right now. I...sort of have this condition, so, uh. It’s better to avoid that sort of stuff.”

 _“Wait, condition? Like what kind of condition?”_ Peter’s voice got higher with each word. _“Are you dying? Are you sick? Do you have cancer? Mr. Stark, please don’t tell me that there’s something wrong with you,”_ he begged.

Tony could imagine that he was almost on the verge of tears, and his heart broke a little bit. “No, no, nothing like that!” he said. “Calm down. I’m completely fine.” Unconsciously he began rubbing circles on his stomach.

_“Then what’s wrong?”_

“I’ll tell you when you come here. It’s a...it’s a surprise, okay? Not something I can just tell you on the phone.” Actually, he probably could, but he did not want Peter freaking out while Tony couldn’t see him. And especially at three AM on a school night.

 _"What kind of surprise could that even_ be _?”_  
  
“You’ll find out, Peter,” Tony said, sighing for what probably had to be the hundredth time. “Call me if you need anything else, okay? And make sure you go to sleep soon.”  
  
_“Yes, mom,”_  Peter said, probably rolling his eyes. _“Bye, Mr. Stark.”_  
  
“Good night, kid.”

* * *

“Sir, Mr. Parker has arrived at the compound,” JARVIS announced roughly two weeks later. Tony looked up from where he was signing papers, grateful for the excuse to get out of the office. Now that he technically couldn’t work in the lab anymore, he was basically relegated to paperwork. Despite popular belief, Tony did in fact love working for his company, but honestly, paperwork was a drag even for Pepper, and to his shock he had caught her skiving off on it once or twice.

“Tell him I’ll meet him at the entrance.” Tony stood up and stretched for a few moments, groaning as his back popped. He couldn’t wait until he was as big as a whale.

Peter was standing right at the entrance like Tony had said, staring in awe at everything. It wasn’t the first time he had been to the compound, but he never failed to be amazed every time.

“You didn’t even invite your aunt in? Now I feel rude,” Tony said.

Peter jumped, whirling around. “Oh, hi, Mr. Stark! May was running late so she didn’t have time to talk. But she’ll call you once she’s off the plane.”

“Fine,” Tony said, grabbing one of Peter’s bags off the floor. “I’ll show you your room, then I guess you can do whatever you want.”

“Uh, can I meet the Avengers?”

“Sure. I told them you were coming but that means you might have to watch out for a prank or two. Clint likes to mess with my interns,” Tony complained. One good thing that came from moving to the compound was that the Avengers could no longer influence his impressionable employees. More than once a young intern had either been scared out of their wits from a prank or roped into some scheme that was destined to go wrong. “But some of them are on a mission right now so you’ll have to wait to meet them all.”

“Really? Can I go help?”

“Peter, the battle will be done by the time you reach it.”

“Oh. Right. And why aren’t you going? Does this have anything to do with that ‘condition’ you’re avoiding telling me about?”

“I’m not trying to avoid–you know what, I’m not going to bother arguing.” Tony set down Peter’s bag and pulled out the sonogram of his little baby that he carried with him everywhere, placing the photo in Peter’s hands. “Here.”  
  
Peter stared at it, then looked up at Tony. “What...what is it? It sorta looks like an alien.”

Tony fought back a smile. “That,” he said gently, pointing at the white blob, “is my baby.”

“Baby?” Peter said in a strangled voice. “You’re going to have a baby?”

Tony nodded, beaming.

“Oh my god, no wonder you called it a surprise. I’m so happy for you, Mr. Stark!” Peter leapt forward and pulled Tony into a tight hug. He pulled away quickly. “Oh, uh, sorry, I’m just excited. It’s just–” He glanced back down at the photo, brown eyes shining, “–you’re having a baby! Who’s the mother? Is it Ms. Potts?”

Tony laughed. “No, it’s not Pepper. Here’s the thing, Peter, I…” He paused, trying to figure out how best to word it. “I’m the one having the baby. Like, it’s in me right now.”

Peter stared at him. “What?”

“I’m pregnant,” Tony said. He grabbed Peter’s hand and pressed his palm against his bump. It was barely noticeable at the moment, but it was clear he had gained weight and lost the hardness of his abs.

“Woah,” Peter breathed, a starstruck expression on his face as he gazed down at Tony’s bump. “Uh, not–not that it’s any of my business, or that there’s anything wrong with it, but, are you transgender?”

Tony shook his head. “No, this is magic related.” He made a face.

“Oh.” Peter clearly wanted to ask, but refrained himself. Tony was sort of glad, because he was getting tired of explaining it to everyone.

There was an awkward silence for a second, and they both looked down at the same time. Tony realized that Peter hadn’t removed his hand yet. Peter obviously noticed the same thing and quickly pulled it back.

That stung, slightly, for a reason Tony couldn’t explain. It was probably just hormones. He crossed his arms. “It doesn’t bother you, does it? Me being pregnant?”

Peter snorted. “Mr. Stark, I have spider powers after being bitten by a radioactive spider. I can’t judge.”

That was true, Tony had to admit. 

“Sir, Agent Romanoff is calling you.”

“Guess they’re done with their mission,” Tony said to Peter. “Answer her, J.”

A screen with Natasha’s image immediately appeared in thin air. The grave expression on her face made Tony’s heart clench. “What happened?”

“It’s Steve,” she said, “he’s injured.”

Tony paled, reaching out for a chair and sitting down. Peter came closer to his side, ready to help in any way he could. “How badly?” Tony asked softly.

“He’ll survive,” Natasha said, “but that doesn’t mean it’s not serious. He’s still unconscious and for a while we thought we would actually lose him.”

Tony wanted to ask what had happened, but there was time for that later. “I’ll...I’ll...I don’t know, I’ll do something,” he said, fighting back his tears. “Are the others okay?”

“The rest of us were lucky,” Natasha said. “I’ll explain what happened when I get back. JARVIS has already contacted the medical team so they’re getting the wing ready right now. You don’t need to worry about that.”

Tony nodded. “I’m glad you’re okay.”

She smiled for the first time, expression softening. “Don’t blame yourself, okay?”

Luckily, Tony didn’t have to struggle for a reply because the call ended. The two of them found themselves staring at the space where the screen had been. Tony was blinking back tears.

“Mr. Stark?”

“Huh?”

Peter hesitantly reached his hand out, resting it on Tony’s shoulder. “Captain America will be fine, you know? He’s been through a lot worse.”

Tony let out a shaky breath, setting aside his worry for now. “I know, kid.” He stood up, ignoring Peter’s outstretched hand. “I’m only in my third month, I really don’t need help yet. Come on, I’ll introduce you to who’s here.”

* * *

After the Avengers arrived back at the compound, Tony had quickly introduced Peter to the ones available before leaving him with Wanda and Vision, trusting them to keep him entertained, while Tony headed down to the medical wing. Steve turned out to have multiple lacerations, cracked ribs, and a hole in his abdomen where the energy blast had apparently hit, because of course. “What happened?” Tony asked, staring down at the prone figure.

“A lucky shot, that’s all,” Bruce said, face dark. “The wound’s already healing, so Steve’ll be fine within a few days. _But_ he’ll still need to take it easy for at least a week. He probably won’t listen to me so I’m expecting you to keep him in check.”

“Alright, fine,” Tony sighed, resigning himself to babysitting a supersoldier with a death wish for the next week or so.

Bruce set down his clipboard and crossed his arms, giving Tony his full attention. “And what about you? You’ve been seeing your doctor, right? Taking your prenatal vitamins?”

This was quickly going in a direction Tony didn’t want it to. “Oh my god, _yes_ , I am, Bruce, get out of here and look at the rest of the team.” Tony herded Bruce out of the medical room and shut the door behind him, knowing from experience to stop Bruce before he really got started, otherwise he would never shut up.

There was slight groan from behind Tony. He whirled around, hurrying back to Steve’s side.

Steve’s eyes were flickering behind his eyelids, and his mouth was parting behind the oxygen mask.

“Steve, are you awake?” Tony asked dumbly.

“T–Tony,” Steve breathed. His voice was so faint Tony had to lean in to hear him. “That...didn’t go so well, did it?”

“Steve,” Tony choked out, relieved. At any other time, Tony would have been able to push back his emotions without letting them consume him until he was all alone. Unfortunately, he was now pregnant and not in control of them at all, and so he started crying almost immediately.

“Don’t waste your tears on me,” Steve mumbled, eyes barely open. “I ain’t dyin’ yet.”

Tony reached out blindly, clutching Steve’s hand tightly. He rubbed at his eyes with his other hand.

“Here,” Steve said, groaning as he pushed himself up slowly. He grabbed the oxygen mask and pulled it off.

“N–no,” Tony sobbed, wanting to stop Steve from hurting himself but crying too hard to actually do anything.

“Tony, come here.” Steve patted his lap. When Tony hesitated, Steve shook his head. “You’re not going to hurt me. You literally weigh as much as a grape.”

“You have a hole in your stomach.”

“So just avoid it.” He held his arms open. Tony, still crying softly, warred with himself, not wanting to hurt to Steve, but also wanting comfort. Ultimately his need to just have a hug won over and he climbed on top of Steve, going into his arms willingly. “Look, I’m fine, okay? We’ll be fine, there’s no need to cry,” Steve said once they were situated, rubbing Tony’s back. “And you’re not hurting me and I’m breathing fine, don’t worry about that.”

“You could have died,” Tony whispered against Steve’s chest, glancing up.

“It’s gonna take a lot more than a lucky shot to kill me,” Steve said, staring intently at Tony. “You should know that.”

“Natasha said they thought you _were_ going to. Die.”

“Natasha was obviously wrong.”

“I was what now? Say that again, Rogers,” Natasha said, walking in. There was a bad cut on her forehead and dirt was still smeared across her face. Tony considered forcing her to actually take care of herself but it was clear she wanted to see how Steve was first so he would give her that.

Steve froze. “Nothing. I said nothing.”

“I can’t believe you,” she continued upon seeing the position Steve and Tony were in, sitting down in the chair Tony had been in initially. “Awake for five minutes and already making moves on a vulnerable, pregnant person.”

“Hey, I take offense to that.”

“Tony was upset,” Steve protested. “I was just comforting him.”

“I’m sure,” Natasha said, clearly not believing him. “Did you tell him about Barnes?”

Tony lifted his head. “Tell me what?”

Natasha looked at Steve, unimpressed.

“I’m sorry,” he said, “I woke up five minutes ago and I spent that time hitting on a pregnant person.” Tony snorted softly.

“Cute.” Natasha turned to Tony. “Barnes was the reason this idiot got hurt.”

“You make it sound like he was the one who injured me,” Steve said. “And no, this isn’t my Bucky blind spot talking. He just distracted me. It was my fault, not his.”

“He shouldn’t have interrupted you during the battle,” Natasha started.

“Wait,” Tony said before they broke out into an argument, holding up a hand. He pushed himself up off of Steve’s chest. “Why was Barnes there during the battle?”

“He was sort of helping,” Steve said, shrugging. “Apparently he wanted to talk to you.”

Tony tilted his head. _Him?_ Steve, he had expected, considering their history, but Tony could not think of a reason that Barnes would want to talk him beyond what had happened to his parents. And why would he bring that up after years of ignoring the team? “Me? Why?”  
  
Steve shrugged again. “I don’t know. He just insisted it was really important. That’s why I got hurt–because I was distracted trying to get the answer out of him.”

Natasha crossed her arms. “See? Barnes’ fault.”

“Nat, that looks like a nasty cut on your forehead. It’s still bleeding,” Steve said abruptly. “Why hasn’t Bruce checked it out yet?”

Natasha’s eyes narrowed suspiciously. “He’s busy.”  
  
“Oh, that’s such a shame,” Steve said. He pressed a hand against his forehead and groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. “Damn, poor, injured me is still feeling shitty. I should probably call Bruce over here so that he can up my painkillers, and that way he can check you over as well.”

Tony hid a smirk upon realizing what Steve was doing.

“Fine, I’m going,” Natasha snapped, getting up from her seat. “I’ll go tell the others that you’re awake and already being your insufferable self.”

Tony held up his fist once she left, and Steve bumped his own against it. “Damn, Rogers,” he said. “I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Steve raised an eyebrow. “Thanks. You fine where you are, or you want to…?”

Tony glanced down, and realized he was still sitting on Steve’s lap. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I’m probably hurting you.” He started shifting around while trying to avoid hurting Steve, but a muscular arm wrapped around his back, immobilizing him.

“I was asking in case you were uncomfortable. I’m completely fine.”

Tony rubbed his face. “Sorry,” he said again, “sorry. I’m so annoying. I don’t know why I just started crying like that.”  
  
“Because you’re vulnerable and pregnant,” Steve said drily.

“Right.” Tony ducked his head. “So, about Barnes…?”

Steve shook his head. “I don’t know. He didn’t explain anything, just said he had to talk to you because it was important.”

“Any idea what it could be?” Tony asked.

“Besides what he did to your parents? No.”

“I might have an idea,” said a familiar voice, one Tony never expected to hear again. He turned around, staring at Athena in shock.


	4. Month Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so it's late and this hasn't been proofread at all so if there are any mistakes please point them out to me. I might update this chapter later on just so it's more polished.
> 
> This takes place immediately where the last chapter left off.

“What are you doing here?” Steve demanded, his hold on Tony getting tighter.

“Woah, tiger,” Tony said, chuckling. “Calm down. She’s not going to hurt me. JARVIS, don’t alert the rest of the Avengers and tell them we’re busy if they ask.”

“What, JARVIS, no!” Steve cried.

“I’m afraid I agree with you, Captain, but I must listen to Sir.”

“Anthony is right,” Athena said once they were done, staying where she was. “I just came to check up on you.”

Steve lessened his hold after that, but he was still tense. As if he could actually fight her in his state. Tony frowned. “Check up on me? Like, how the baby is doing?”  
  
“Oh, so you know now!” Athena exclaimed with pure delight on her face. “Did you like the gift?”   
  
“Well, it took some getting used to,” Tony said slowly, not liking how she basically equated the baby to an object, and he clenched his hands into fists. Now that Athena was back and standing in front of him, so was the anger at her. He remembered how she had basically just–invaded him. At the time, it had been horrifying.

He slid off of Steve and walked right up to her, ignoring Steve’s protests. “It took a lot of getting used to, actually. What the hell is wrong with you? You literally changed my body. I didn’t ask for it, but you did it anyway. I don’t know how it works on your world, sweetheart, but here, decent people have this idea of ‘consent’. Heard of it?” Now that he had gotten started, Tony couldn’t seem to stop. “And it would have been fine, actually more than fine, if you just, like, poofed up a baby right then and there in my arms. I could have handled that. But no. You invaded my body, changed it without my permission, and got me pregnant, which is something most men on this world can’t normally do. And not only that, you apparently dragged in some other poor soul to be the father, once again not at all considering our feelings or maybe the fact that, oh, we’re not prepared to have a child seeing as how _I don’t even know who the other father is_.”

Throughout the entire rant, Athena had just stood there, blinking. “I see,” she said finally, once Tony was done. “If you really want, I can reverse the spell–”

“No!” Tony shouted, hands shooting up in the universal ‘stop’ gesture. “Are you insane? You’d kill the baby!”

“But you just said–”

“Oh, God, save me from clueless aliens,” Tony moaned, tilting his head towards the ceiling. “No, I didn’t like the ‘gift’, as you call it, but don’t _reverse_ it! I’m keeping this baby and I will _literally_ murder anyone who tries to take it away from me, and that includes you!”

“Damn,” Steve whispered.

Athena was silent again. Tony could see actual hesitation in her face. Now that he had gotten the rant that had been simmering in him for a while out of his system, Tony was left with a cold horror that crept up on him. He had basically just told off (and threatened) a literal _goddess_. He was surprised she hadn’t just vaporized him for what he said. But he’d be damned if he regretted it.

“...I...did not mean to upset you, Anthony. I swear that. What about after the baby is born?”   
  
It took Tony a minute to realize what she was talking about. “Remove the spell? How about–no, don’t. Just don’t. I don’t want anymore magic changing my body in any way. Just–leave it alone. What’s done is done, the past is in the past, all that shit. Now just leave me alone.”

“But…” Athena frowned.  “You don’t even know who the other father of your child is.”  
  
Tony crossed his arms, wondering if asking was a good idea. What if the father turned out to be someone horrible? Someone who would hurt the child? And, to be quite honest, Tony wasn’t very keen on sharing, as horrible as that sounded.

Model parenting right there.

But...it was still their right. And Tony had a responsibility to uphold that right. “Well, then, give me the name.”  
  
“He’s Steven’s friend,” Athena said immediately. “The one who suffered at the hands of those horrible people. They used him to do such...bad things. I thought he would get along quite well with you.”

Tony knew exactly who she was talking about.

There was a crash from behind Tony, and he looked behind him. Steve had somehow knocked over the chair next to his bed while still lying down. _“Bucky?”_ Steve cried. “Bucky’s the father?”

“Yes,” Athena simply said.

“Does...does he know?” Tony asked hesitantly.

“He does,” Athena said, nodding. “I told him.”

“You just–told him?” Steve said, doubt in his tone. “How did he take it?”

Athena huffed out a breathy laugh. “He reacted similar to how you did, Anthony, as well as with a bit of doubt. But I believe he accepted it eventually.”

“I’m guessing that’s why Barnes needed to speak to me so badly,” Tony said.

Athena nodded. “It is.”

“But why _Bucky_?” Steve asked. “Bucky’s my best friend, always has been, but he’s really not...father material right now. There’s a reason I haven’t brought him back to the compound.”

“I disagree,” Athena said strongly. “All he needs is a bit of happiness, like Anthony here. They have similar souls, ones torn by guilt and death. Bringing life into the world will help.”  
  
Tony shook his head, holding up his hand and ignoring what she said about his soul. It wasn’t the time to get into that, even though it left him feeling raw, in a way.  “No, Steve’s right. A baby is not some magical cure-all like you think it is. Maybe it was where you’re from, but here people shouldn’t be having children unless they’re completely ready for it and can accept the responsibility. But–” He heaved a sigh, “–there’s nothing we can do about it anymore. I’ll figure something out with Barnes, don’t worry about it.”   
  
“That’s all I wanted,” Athena said.

“Now are you done?” Steve said, quite rudely. Strange. He was normally a pretty polite guy if he wasn’t dealing with politicians and the like.

“I am–”

“Wait, do you need to check up on the baby or something?” Tony said, ignoring Steve’s glare at his back.  
  
Athena smiled. “The fetus is completely fine, I assure you. My magic will ensure that there will be no complications during the pregnancy or the birth.”

Tony let out a sigh of relief. “Seriously? Oh, thank you, Athena, you have no idea how worried I was about that.

“I understand,” Athena said. “Also, Anthony, I’m flattered by the name you chose for me, but it is not Athena.”  
  
Tony’s face colored, realizing he had just called her the nickname they had chosen. “I know, you just never told us. What is it?”   
  
“Riyaa,” she said. “In my homeworld, Ier, it means love.”

Tony’s eyebrow rose. “Fitting.”

“Hmm, perhaps. Well, Anthony, Steven, I must take my leave.” Riyaa came closer, until she was standing right in front of Tony. “Anthony, I really am sorry for the hurt I have caused you. I didn’t realize how different things were on this world.”  
  
“It’s–” Well, it wasn’t really fine, even now. Tony couldn’t really say he appreciated what Athe–Riyaa had done for him, even though he completely and wholeheartedly loved the baby now. “I accept your apology,” he said finally. “Maybe I’ll forgive you in the future, but I can’t right now.”   
  
“That is fine,” Riyaa said. “You don’t have to, if you so wish.” She leaned down, and before Tony could wonder what the hell she was doing, she kissed his forehead and disappeared.

“Finally,” Steve exclaimed, “I thought she would never leave.”  
  
Tony’s brow furrowed. “What’s your problem with her?”

“Same as you,” Steve said. “She did something invasive to you without your consent, and also, I don’t like it when people mess with my team.”

“Thanks for your concern, I guess,” Tony said, smiling. “Do you think you can try to contact Barnes? I could do it, but he might listen to you more.”

Steve tilted his head, straightening up even more. “Hold on, what?”

“I need to talk to Barnes,” Tony said in confusion. “I thought that would be obvious.”  
  
Steve paled, making the bruises stark against his skin. “You can’t. It’s too dangerous. And–and what he did to your parents…”

“I know what he did to my parents, Steve,” Tony said softly. “You were the one who told me. But I’ve had time to get over it. Well, not get over it, but I realize that it wasn’t Barnes’ fault. Why are you so convinced Barnes is dangerous? He’s _your_ friend.”   
  
“So are you,” Steve said, just as quiet. “That’s why I can’t let my bias for him take over like it did before.” He let out a sigh, running a hand through his hair. “Tony, I’m not saying to completely avoid Bucky, because I know he would never hurt you on purpose, but just–just for the time being, don’t go searching for him? At least think about it for a little bit.”

“He has a right to know,” Tony said.  
  
“And he already knows! Dammit, Tony why do you have to be so noble?"

The irony of the statement was not lost on Tony.

“Please,” Steve said, reaching out for Tony’s hand. His blue eyes were wide and imploring. “Think about yourself for once, instead of acting because it’s the right thing to do. Do you really want Bucky in your life? And I’m not saying this because I don’t want Bucky to have a chance, I really do, but you have to think about it before you make your decision. If you just force yourself to put up with Bucky, then you’re not going to be happy. ”

Tony pulled his hand away. Steve looked like he’d been struck. “You don’t know what I want,” Tony said, hurt that Steve would manipulate him like that. “And Barnes deserves a chance. If he wants to have a hand in raising our child, then I’m fine with it, as long as it makes him happy. Stop acting like you wouldn’t do the same thing in my position.” He turned away, about to head to the exit.

There were the sounds of struggling and heavy breathing behind him. Tony whipped around, pushing Steve back into the bed.

“Are you trying to hurt yourself even more?” Tony demanded, pointing a finger at him. “Stay. In. Bed.”

“Tony, don’t–”

“The rest of the team has been waiting too long to see you, so I’ll let them in.” That was as close a dismissal as Tony could get to right now. Tony was done with this topic. He was going to talk to Barnes as soon as possible, and there was nothing Steve could to change his mind. He opened the door, Clint jumping back to avoid getting hit by it.

“Are you finally done making out?” Clint said. “Jesus Christ, you could have at least told us that Steve was fine.”

“ _I_ did,” Natasha said, now sporting a set of butterfly bandages on her forehead. “You didn’t need Tony to do it.”

“Still, Bruce here was freaking out because JARVIS wouldn’t let him in.” Clint gestured towards said man.

“I _cannot_ believe whatever you were talking about was so important I couldn’t even look over Steve,” Bruce exclaimed, green flashing in his eyes.

That was enough to make guilt start churning in the pit of his stomach. That, coupled with the argument he just had with Steve, was doing wonders for his mood. “Sorry,” Tony muttered, averting his eyes. “I didn’t mean to–we just lost track of time. And we weren’t making out,” he said to Clint.

“Whatever, man.”

“Are you okay?” Wanda asked, coming closer.

Tony nodded, pushing past the throng of superheroes. “I’m fine, just. I need to lie down because I’m pregnant,” he said, ignoring their confused looks. “Where’s Peter?”

“Here,” said Peter from right beside Tony.

Tony recoiled. “Jesus!” He took a deep breath, calming his racing heart. Ath–Riyaa did say her magic ensured there would be no complications but surely that didn’t include a spontaneous heart attack? “Don’t do that, kid. Are you busy? Come with me.” He grabbed Peter’s hand and dragged him away from the group.

“I thought you were lying down?” Peter asked.

“Yeah, yeah, I’ll just lay down on the couch or something. I just need….I need some company, that’s all.” Tony hadn’t had an argument that bad with Steve since their earlier years as a team together. It brought back reminders of hiding how hurt he really was by Steve’s words and actions. Belatedly, he realized his hand was shaking in Peter’s grasp, and pulled it away. Luckily, Peter still followed him.

“Oh, okay.”

True to his word, Tony lied down on the couch in the common room, dragging Peter to sit by his head. He covered his eyes with his arm, trying to focus on anything except Steve’s words still ringing through his head. God, the nerve of him, trying to manipulate Tony like that.

 _But was he really trying to manipulate you, or just looking out for you?_ a small, traitorous part of his mind whispered.

Tony ignored it. It was something he could think about later, when he wasn’t overwhelmed by emotions.

“You’re acting weird,” Peter said after fidgeting through a few minutes of silence.

Tony had to focus, having dozed off a little. “What?”

“You’re not usually this...clingy.”

Peter was right. Usually when Tony was upset he would avoid others and hide in his workshop. But right now he wanted some comfort. It was weird, maybe, but Tony couldn’t help himself. He removed his arm. “Are you bored? I’m sorry, you can go. I’m sure you have better things to do than just sit here.”

“No, it’s...fine. Are you sure you’re okay?”

“Peachy.” Tony put his arm back. The blackness and presence of Peter was soothing, and soon Tony found himself asleep, memories of the argument no longer floating in his head.

* * *

 Tony had a plan. Well, it wasn’t really a plan, and more like he saw the opportunity and decided to take it. Since May was on a trip and Peter was currently staying with him, it was left up to Tony (or Happy) to take Peter to school. Tony didn’t think it would be particularly fun since they were upstate; it basically meant they would have to wake up hours early, but it was only for about a week so Tony could stand it. He was more worried about Peter losing sleep anyway, but Tony had fixed that by setting an early bedtime for him (after consulting with May, because Tony didn’t want to impose), which had led to complaints from said teenager and many jokes from the team. But whatever, if it meant he wouldn’t have a sleep-deprived spider on his hands he would deal with anything.

Anyway, Tony had initially planned to drop Peter off and then hang around Manhattan until it was time to pick the kid up since it would be useless to drive back to the compound, then drive to the school and pick up Peter, and then finally drive back. So it really was the perfect time to see Barnes without anyone (note: Steve) getting suspicious.

So after Tony had dropped Peter off with a wave and smile in the least conspicuous car he had, he asked JARVIS to locate Barnes, because last he checked he was still in New York. It turned out he was eating at a small, family-owned Mexican restaurant, one Tony often went to.

Tony had made sure to wear his baggiest clothes today, although it was unlikely anyone would notice even if he had worn a tight shirt, and even if they did they would probably assume Tony was putting on weight due to his age–which was really the reason Tony was hiding it, because that would spread and the tabloids would catch wind of it and then _no one_ would shut up.

Anyway, he walked into the restaurant, zeroing in on Barnes seated in the corner. However, before he could make a beeline to the table, the owner’s grandmother appeared from...somewhere. “Antonio!” she cried, wrapping her arms around him tightly and kissing his cheeks. “¿Por qué no has visitado?”  

Tony kissed her cheeks as well, fighting the urge to sigh. He loved her, he really did, but she could be a bit overbearing at times, and right now he didn’t have the time to chat. “Lo siento, Señora Ramírez, pero muchas cosas han pasado.”

“Trabajas mucho,” she said disapprovingly. “Necesitas unas vacaciones.”

“Lo estoy, de algún modo,” Tony said, shrugging and glancing back towards Barnes. He seemed to be in a staring contest with his enchilada. Sad.

Señora Ramírez blinked in confusion. “¿Qué quieres decir?”

“Te explicaré más tarde. Te prometo. Pero ahora necesito hablarse con ese hombre allá.” Tony pointed at Barnes, surprised that he hadn’t even noticed Tony yet. Was the enchilada really that intriguing? He wasn’t even eating it.

“Si, si, yo entiendo. ¿Es él tu amigo? Él ha estado viniendo aquí todos los días.”  


“Lo conozco,” Tony said vaguely. “Adios, Señora Ramírez.“ He made his way over to Barnes’ table. Barnes looked up as Tony’s shadow fell over him, his eyes widening. Up close, he looked even sadder, like a wet kitten. Tony sort of wanted to wrap a blanket around him. “You know, enchiladas are usually for eating.”

Barnes stared at him. “I know,” he said, very slowly. “Is there a reason you decided to question my knowledge of food?”

“Never mind that. It’s not important. I need to talk to you. Well, we both need to talk to each other, I think.”

Barnes frowned then, looking worried. “Is this about Steve?”

“Kind of. May I?” Tony gestured at the chair on the opposite side of Barnes, then sat down gratefully when Barnes nodded, sighing. His back was killing him. He placed one of his hands on his stomach, aware that Barnes was staring at the area his hand was resting on.

Barnes opened his mouth.

A waiter, Daniel, came by, stopping him from speaking. “Hi, Tony! Would you like your usual or do you want a menu?”

Tony thought about it for a moment. He hadn’t come here planning to eat, but he really was hungry, and who knew how long the conversation would take. “A menu, please.”

Daniel nodded, and handed him the menu. “Any drinks?”

Tony smiled, glancing at Barnes. “Water is fine.”

“I don’t want anything,” Barnes said, gesturing at his food.

Daniel nodded. “Alright, anything else?”

Tony shook his head. “No.”  
  
“Got it. I’ll be right back with your water.” Daniel

Barnes played with his fingers for a second, looking unsure. “How’s Steve? I–I didn’t mean to–”

“He’s fine, Barnes. Annoying the shit out of all of us.”

Barnes chuckled. “Sounds like him.” His smile disappeared. “You...do you know?” he asked quietly, looking down at his enchilada. Tony wished Barnes would eat it just so he would stop staring at it.

“I do,” Tony said as he looked through the menu, debating on whether he should get huevos rancheros. It was still breakfast time, after all.  “And I know you know, too. So why the hell did you think you could talk to me on the battlefield?”

Barnes shrugged with one arm. “I thought there might have been a chance you didn’t actually know yet. I’m not sure when people generally find out.” His eyes were dark, and his hair was hanging loosely in front of his face, obscuring it partially. “But that didn’t work out. Then I decided to come here, because I know you eat here a lot. I thought...maybe I could catch you eventually.”

“Okay, clearly you don’t want that so I’m going to eat it instead because I’m starving.” Tony pulled the plate over to him and took a bite. After he swallowed, he continued, teasingly, “And that’s not creepy at all.” His smile lessened a little when Barnes tensed. “Kidding, I’m kidding. Chill, Barnes. I’m not here to judge you. I just want to give you a chance.”

“Why? I don’t deserve it.”

Tony slammed his fork down, ready to tell Barnes just what he did deserve, but Daniel came back holding his glass of water.

“Oh,” Daniel said, looking at the enchilada Tony was eating. “Uh...Do you still want to order?”

“Of course, this won’t be enough for me,” Tony said. Even Barnes gave him a weird look at that. “I’ll have the huevos rancheros, but, uh, add extra sour cream, two extra eggs, and I want the juice of at least three limes in there. Can you add limes? Actually, just make it as sour as possible.” Tony ignored Barnes’ look of complete disbelief.

“We can probably do that,” Daniel said in confusion, and then added, “Are you okay?”

“No,” Tony said, “I’m pregnant.”  
  
Daniel laughed. “Ha, that’s funny. You almost got me there.”   
  
“I’m serious,” Tony said in the straightest face possible. “I’m pregnant and he’s the father.” He gestured at Barnes.

Barnes finally seemed to realize what Tony was saying.  “Stark, why’re you telling him?”

“Daniel’s a good kid,” Tony said, patting Daniel’s arm and looking up at him. “He’s not going to tell anyone. Right, Daniel?”  
  
“Even if I did, no one would believe me,” Daniel said, crossing his arms. “ _I_ don’t even believe you.”

“Aw, you’re adorable,” Tony said brightly. “But it’s true.”

“Okay, fine, I believe you,” Daniel said, raising his hands, “but only because I don’t think you would go to all the effort of eating so much weirdly sour food just to keep up a prank. Why does all the weird stuff happen to you?”

Tony shook his head, smiling. “I wish I knew.”

“Alright then.” Daniel scribbled something down on his pad. “So, huevos rancheros, extra sour cream, two extra eggs, and as sour as possible?”

“Yes.”

“God, how am I going to explain this to the chefs?” Daniel muttered, and walked away.

“You should be more quiet about it,” Barnes said.

Tony hummed, resuming eating Barnes’ enchilada. “I trust Daniel. He’s a kid, okay? Kids aren’t going to betray someone like that. Plus, I’ve known him for a while.”

“Still,” Barnes said, tapping his fingers on the table. “You never know who might be listening.”

“That’s fair. Now, what we really need to talk about–” Tony brandished his fork at Barnes, “–why you seem to think you don’t deserve to have a chance in the kid’s life.”

“You don’t understand, Stark.” Barnes lowered his voice. “I’ve killed so many people. Hell, I’m still dangerous. I can’t be around children.”  
  
“I understand perfectly,” Tony snapped, angrily eating another bite.  “You think I should be having a child? I’ll probably fuck it up before it can even speak, but I’ve suddenly been thrust into the role of a parent and so now I have a responsibility to take care of this kid. To at least _try_. And so do you, Barnes. Fine, whatever, if you really don’t want to be in the kid’s life, then I’ll accept it, but don’t deny it a father just because you have a questionable past.”

“I killed your parents,” Barnes burst out.

Tony winced at the reminder. “I know. Steve told me.”

“So how can you…?”

“Because it wasn’t you,” Tony said, then frowned at his choice of wording. “Well, it was, but it wasn’t _you_. You had no choice. I mean, I was angry, for a long time, but I found out years ago. I’m over it now.”

“D’you…” Barnes stared, then whipped his head to the left, paling. Tony looked to the side too. Steve was standing there, dressed only in a hospital gown and a thin jacket. Tony’s heart dropped. It was late January, so Steve had to be freezing. God, that was not good, not for his state of mind nor for his still-healing wound. Somehow, no one else in the restaurant seemed to notice Steve’s...less than stellar choice of clothing.

Tony leapt out of his seat, grabbing Steve’s arm. “Oh, God, Steve, why are you here? You should be in bed!” he hissed.

“I had suspicions,” Steve said, shrugging. His jaw was tight and face pale. For a second, Tony thought it was because he was angry at him, but then he realized it was because Steve was trying to hide his pain. “And I was right about them.” He moved forward, only to stumble and lean over slightly, clutching his stomach. Tony caught him quickly, holding up most of Steve’s weight. It was difficult.   
  
“Who cares?” Tony ushered Steve into a seat, taking off his own coat and trying to get it to cover as much of Steve as possible without actually having him put it on and rip the entire thing. After a second, Tony also wrapped his scarf around Steve’s neck and began to fuss with it, making sure it wasn’t too tight.

Steve put up with it his fussing for a few moments and then pushed Tony’s hands away. “I’m fine, Mom.”

Tony retracted his hands, unsure of what to do with them now and still itching to fix the scarf. “You’re not angry, are you?”  
  
“I’m pissed that you didn’t listen to me, but I expected it, so…” Steve’s shoulders lifted in another shrug. “And it’s not as if you did something reckless or idiotic. I mean, I trust Bucky to not hurt you, so. I’m really not angry.”

“Steve, how are you feeling?” Barnes asked.

“Never been better,” Steve said,  and Tony smacked his arm. That was probably the biggest lie he had ever told. His face was pale but his cheeks were unnaturally flushed, and there were dark smudges under his eyes. He had definitely been better.

“I’m sorry about what happened in the battle,” Barnes continued. “I didn’t mean for you to get hurt.”  
  
Steve exhaled. “Yeah, I know, Buck. I don’t blame you, unlike _certain_ people.”

“But–”

“Good, have we gotten that out of the way?” Tony cut in, not wanting Barnes to start blaming himself. “How the hell did you find me? JARVIS wouldn’t have told you where I was.”

“I didn’t ask JARVIS to tell me where you were,” Steve said, crossing his arms, the slightest hint of a smirk on his face, “I asked him to tell me where Bucky was.”  
  
Damn him. Steve was such a mess in his normal life Tony often forgot the man was actually a tactical genius. And JARVIS wouldn’t have technically been able to refuse telling Steve about Barnes’ location, because that would have pretty much confirmed Tony was with him.

“What were you thinking?” Steve asked softly. “I told you to give it a bit of time before you went out looking for Bucky.”

“I was thinking that for all you claim to care about Barnes, you’re actually being a pretty shitty friend to him right now,” Tony snapped, incensed suddenly. “I can’t believe you won’t give him a chance.”

“Stark,” Barnes started. “He’s right.”  
  
Tony turned to him, confused beyond words. “About what? You don’t even know what he said.”

“No, but I can make a guess. And Stevie’s right, you should have thought about this more. I know you’re just tryin’ to…” Barnes took a breath. “Give me a chance. The option. Because I, I do want to be in this child’s life. ‘S my kid, too. But maybe you should have thought about what you wanted.”

“Exactly,” Steve said.

“I _do_ want you in the kid’s life,” Tony said, and it was true. It wasn’t like he loved Barnes or anything, but that was because they had just met.

“You don’t even know me. This is basically the first time we’ve talked,” Barnes said, mirroring Tony’s own thoughts.

Tony snorted at that. “I do know you more than some random stranger,” he said. “And I mean, you’re not, like, a horrible person or anything. I could get used to you. We can get along, I think.”  
  
“But enough to parent a child together?” Steve asked quickly, and the slightest bit too loudly. What–was that in his tone? He sounded–almost upset at the thought? But why?

“Steven,” Tony said tiredly, “quiet. We have time to figure it out. I understand what you mean, both of you, but consider that maybe this is what I want? I _want_ to give Barnes a chance, it’s the right thing to do. The responsible thing. And this isn’t about me. It’s about the baby.”

“It’s a little bit about you,” Barnes said.

Tony gave him a withering glare. “At least come back to the compound. We can talk it over there.”  
  
Barnes looked at Steve, who shrugged. “It’s your choice, Buck.”

“I’ll…I’ll…” Barnes took a deep breath. “Sure. I’ll come.”

Tony leaned back, smiling. “Good. That’s all I wanted to hear. Oh, and by the way–” Tony smacked Steve around the head,  “–I can’t believe your idiocy. Coming all the way to New York, in the middle of winter, wearing what basically amounts to a sheet of paper, while _injured_? Literally what in your mind told you that was a good idea?”

“I’m fine, Tony,” Steve started.  
  
“No, don’t start with that!” Tony seethed. He quieted his tone when the other restaurant-goers started giving them looks, but it was no less dangerous. “You say that. Every. Single. Time. Even though it’s a complete lie! One of these days, I’m not going to be around to keep your ass out of trouble, and you’re going to end up dead in a ditch. It’s not my problem, though, because I’ve warned you multiple times, you just choose not to listen to me. You know what?” Tony said, a thought coming to his head. “Do it! Do whatever the hell you want, and when you end up getting hurt, don’t come running to me, okay?”   
  
Steve looked at Barnes for help, who only smiled at him smugly. “What? You don’t think I agree with him, punk?”

“Sorry, Tony,” Steve said, not looking the slightest bit sorry. “I’ll try not to be such an idiot next time.”

“You’d better,” Tony said, going back to eat his enchilada. “And, Barnes, how long have you known?”  
  
Barnes thought for a bit. “‘S been a few months. I think since the beginning, or at least close to it.”   
  
That was not what Tony had been expecting. He had thought maybe a week or two. Even less, to be honest. “Why’d it take you so long to try to contact me?”   
  
“Well, I had to get used to the idea, and then I hunted down some HYDRA agents.”   
  
Tony and Steve shared a look. “Why?” Steve asked.

“Because if they even hear a rumor about this, then they will stop at nothing to get to you and the baby,” Barnes said, looking serious.

Tony instinctively brought a hand up to cup his stomach in the way that all pregnant women seemed to do. He guessed he counted among them, now. “Hm, well, they can try.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Translations: (Also, although I'm learning Spanish I'm not an expert so if there are any mistakes please tell me. Edit: Thanks to flowerwolf for helping me out!)
> 
> ¿Por qué no has visitado? - Why have you not visited?
> 
> Lo siento, Señora Ramírez, pero muchas cosas han pasado. - I’m sorry, Mrs. Ramirez, but a lot has happened.
> 
> Trabajas mucho. Necesitas unas vacaciones. - You work too much. You need a vacation.
> 
> Lo estoy, de algún modo. - I am, sort of.
> 
> ¿Qué quieres decir? - What do you mean?
> 
> Te explicaré más tarde. Te prometo. Pero ahora necesito hablarse con ese hombre allá. - I’ll explain to you later. But right now I need to speak with that man over there.
> 
> Si, si, yo entiendo. ¿Es él tu amigo? Él ha estado viniendo aquí todos los días. - Yes, yes, I understand. Is he your friend? He has been coming here every day.
> 
> Lo conozco. Adios, Señora Ramirez. - I know him. Bye, Mrs. Ramírez


	5. Month Five (Part One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah...I don’t really have any excuses beyond quarter four being serious crunch time.
> 
> Also, I know I said that this would be gen, but I kind of changed my mind? I was going to keep it sort of ambiguous but the way that the relationships develop ends up pushing the boundary from close friends straight into romantic partners. So yeah there will be a romantic relationship later on. I haven’t updated the relationship tags yet though because I don’t want to spoil what happens.
> 
> Please tell me if there's any major errors. I did rewrite some lines today so I may have accidentally left a sentence half-finished but I was too impatient to read through nearly 6k words and check.
> 
> I'm pissed off right now because I put some emojis (the images of them) in the texts but apparently Ao3 can't handle that? What a disappointment. Now Rhodey's contact name is just Honey without the bear emoji :/

The public had officially caught onto Tony’s sudden weight gain. Or, well, the tabloids had, at least.

Tony stared at the numerous tabloids scattered across the dining table, ranging from headlines like the basic, “Tony Stark’s Age Showing! How He Hid His Weight Gain Until Now!” to something more out there, like, “Tony Stark Developing Eating Disorder! Secret Girlfriend Reveals All!” or, “Is Tony Stark In The Midst Of A Midlife Crisis? Discover The Truth On Page 9!” All of them contained photos that had been taken by paparazzi while he had been out and about the past week or so, many at angles that exaggerated the bump.

Or maybe that was just Tony’s wishful thinking.

“Wow,” he said, completely unsurprised, “these are trash.”

Pepper, the one who had dumped all of these in front of him, gave him a glare and said, “You’re the one who read tabloids that made up horrible stuff about you from ten years ago and believed them until I set you straight.”

“How was I supposed to know they were fake? You know how I was back then,” Tony protested, annoyed that Pepper had once again brought that up. How many times before she got tired of reminding him?

“They were _tabloids_!”

“Okay, whatever, that doesn’t even matter.” Tony waved his hand carelessly. “What are we going to do about this?”

“That’s what I came to ask you. Right now only these–” Pepper gestured at the trashy magazines, “–have really noticed, but soon other outlets will catch on. I want to know what you want to do.”

“I mean,” Tony picked up the first one and showed her the cover, “you could just say that I’m getting old. But do you really have to address that?”

Pepper raised an eyebrow. “And then you suddenly lose that weight in a few months?”

“My ego couldn’t handle the thought of gaining weight like every other middle aged person there is and disappeared for months because I was recovering from my liposuction.” Tony hated himself just for saying that.

Pepper stared at him. “Now you’re sounding like one of these.”

“That’s the point,” Tony said. “But honestly, I have no problem telling them the truth.”

“Do you _really_ want to tell the truth?” Pepper said, looking at him doubtfully. “They’ll hound you for months, and probably your child as well.”  
  
“What did Marcy suggest?” Tony countered, bringing up their head PR manager. Though she did have a point. He’d have to talk about it with James, who...probably would not want it to be revealed. But would that be with or without him attached to the news?

And, of course, the question of his child being born in the limelight. Tony was determined to not do what his dad did with him, and was planning on keeping the kid away from the public. But obviously, the kid couldn’t be a secret forever, so eventually he’d have to come out about it anyway. Maybe...maybe it would be better if the media got over it while the baby was, well, just a baby, rather than a kid who could potentially be traumatized from all the focus on them. Or maybe it wouldn’t change anything and telling the truth would just put his baby in danger.

Maybe Tony needed to think about this more than he had initially assumed.

“She said she wanted your opinion first,” Pepper admitted. “But are you sure? You know what it’s going to do to you.”  
  
“They’ll find out eventually, Pepper, you know they will, and it’ll be even worse because we couldn’t control the leak. But don’t do anything yet, I need to discuss this with James.”

“And I’ll talk about this with Marcy,” Pepper said, gathering up the tabloids and heading to the exit of the kitchen. “She’ll come to you after, okay? We’ll figure something out.”

“Hey, wait,” Tony said. Pepper looked over her shoulder at him. “Can’t you stay for a little bit? We haven’t talked in months.”  
  
“I text you,” she said.

“Yeah, by texting you mean sending me trashy memes at three in the morning,” Tony scoffed, “and no offense, but I’m kind of sick of it since I’m actually trying to sleep for once. What’s with that, anyway? Don’t you sleep?”  
  
“Of course I do,” Pepper said. “I just...have a lot on my mind right now.”  
  
Tony frowned in concern. He missed the days where he and Pepper could talk for hours about anything, but that was back before their paths had separated. Tony had his own life, and Pepper had hers. “It’s not bad, is it?”  
  
“No, no,” she shook her head, “nothing like that. I guess I’ve thinking a lot about you. Not in a sexual way, so you can stop right there,” she hastened to explain, clearly anticipating what Tony had been about to joke about. “Just...thinking about how you’re doing, and how happy I am for you, I guess.”

While Tony was searching for something to say that, Pepper turned around fully, staring at him, then sighed and set the tabloids back down. “I really am sorry, Tony, but I have a board meeting soon–one that you should have been at, by the way–and I need to go to that. But maybe some time after?”

Tony shrugged. “It’s fine. I know you’re busy.”

“Still. I wish I could make more time for you.” Pepper tilted her head, hovering her hand over Tony’s stomach in an obvious request. Tony nodded and she placed her hand on it. “Has it started kicking yet?”  
  
“Not yet.” Tony had been disappointed when he discovered he shouldn’t expect it to happen so early for him. “But it should be happening soon!” he added brightly. “I’m in my twentieth week.”

Pepper’s eyebrows rose to her hairline. “Already? That’s about halfway through, isn’t it?”  
  
“It is!” Tony gave her a huge grin, trying to hide how nervous he felt about it. “It’s going to only get worse from here.”

“Maybe, but remember,” Pepper tapped Tony on the chest, “it will all be worth it.”  
  
“That’s what I’m trying to remind myself of,” Tony said, slightly sheepish.

Pepper smiled at Tony, then continued. “Tony, I really have to go now, but I’ll call you later. Maybe we can meet up somewhere for lunch before you’re permanently stuck in the compound?”

“Yes, definitely. But I get to choose where,” Tony said. “Bye, Pep.”  
  
Pepper smiled again and hugged him, kissing him on the cheek. “Bye. And you,” she said to his stomach, “be good to your daddy–well, mommy, really–okay?”

After Pepper left for her meeting, Tony found himself thinking about what she had said. Pretty much everyone he knew referred to him as the baby’s mom, whether jokingly or completely seriously. He supposed, technically, he _was_ the mother, and James would be the father.

It wasn’t really that Tony had a problem being called the mother, especially considering his own father’s parenting skills, or lack thereof. His mother, on the other hand? She had always tried her best. Sure, sometimes it wasn’t enough, but Tony could appreciate the sentiment. At least she _loved_ him.

Hell, he sort of _liked_ being called “mom”, strangely enough. The term had grown on him. It was just, he felt this sort of...connection with the baby that he didn’t think he would have felt had he been the one on the outside. Not to say that fathers couldn’t feel a bond with their children! Just...there was a tiny human being inside of him, it was literally growing _inside_ of him. That was the closest Tony could possibly get to any sort of individual.

Being the mother just brought up a lot of problems later on, since it would be hard to explain why this kid was calling their very male parent “mom”, though that was only really if they never shared the truth. Either way, though, the media...well, the media would just eat it up like vultures. Despite what people assumed, Tony _did_ care what the public thought of him, which was why he tried to be as open as he could to them.

But this...this was different. He had more than just himself to consider. He had James and the baby to think about.

Well, Tony could talk about it with James, he supposed. They were getting along surprisingly well, even more so than Tony had expected. Though...Tony wouldn’t exactly say no to something deeper developing between them. James wasn’t that hard on the eyes, either.

Okay, so maybe he had a little bit of a crush on James, it wasn’t like it was anything huge and it probably wouldn’t go anywhere, since James was only putting up with Tony for the baby’s sake. His crush was probably some instinctive hormonal thing because James was the father of his child, anyway.

“Tony, are you ready?” Natasha said suddenly, bringing him out of his thoughts.

Tony blinked, shaking his head. “Huh?”

“We’re going to the mall, remember? Are you ready?” she repeated.

It took much longer than it should have for Tony to recall that they had planned on going to the shopping mall today. “Oh, right! I forgot.” He glanced down at his clothes. He was wearing a large sweatshirt he had “borrowed” from Steve that should be enough to hide his bump.  
  
“Pregnancy brain,” Natasha muttered to herself. “Come on, I’ll drive. Can’t have you forgetting traffic rules.”  
  
Tony halfheartedly smacked her on the arm. “If you don’t stop making fun of me, I’ll sit on you.”

“Tony, yesterday you put the milk carton in the dishwasher.”  
  
He couldn’t help the blush from spreading. “Oh my god would you shut up about that?”

They continued their friendly sniping in the car, up until Tony got nauseous halfway through the drive and had to lie down in the back. Whoever said that morning sickness only lasted through the first trimester, or that it only happened in the morning, was a dirty liar.

* * *

Once at the mall, Natasha immediately started dragging him to some skincare store. “I need a brightening face mask,” she muttered to herself. “It’s bullshit how perfect your skin is looking right now.”

Tony blinked at her, walking around someone too absorbed in their phone to pay attention. “What are you talking about?”  
  
Natasha gestured at him. “Have you looked in the mirror? I hate to be so stereotypical, but you’re glowing.”

“Oh.” Tony hadn’t noticed anything like that, too focused on his ever-growing stomach, and, to a lesser extent, everything else. He was pretty certain that even his _chest_ was growing, leading to some...slightly disturbing implications.

“Well, it’s true.”  
  
Tony was about to respond, before a particular store caught his eye. “Nat, can we go to that?” He pointed at it.

Natasha looked at the baby supplies store over her sunglasses and frowned. “Seriously? Tony, we’re trying to keep your condition on the down low, not announce it to the world.”  
  
“No one knows it’s us. Besides, they’ll probably just assume we’re a couple or something.” Tony took off his sunglasses for a moment to give her his best puppy eyes. For added effect, he made his lip wobble. Tony had recently learned that if he acted as if he was about to cry, the Avengers would scramble to do whatever he wanted. So far Natasha hadn’t caught on. “Please?”

Even Natasha wasn’t immune to Tony’s puppy eyes. She looked away, and Tony knew she was convinced. “Fine! We can go after, but if anyone finds out you’re taking responsibility.”  
  
Tony was too excited to even care about that. Sure, he had been online shopping, but it was different to actually go out to the store and see the baby items.

He waited impatiently as Natasha went through the various skincare products, certain that she was purposefully taking as long as possible to rile him up. Then he saw some creams and salves that supposedly helped reduce stretch marks and got distracted by them. Tony had noticed several developing a few days earlier, and had had to take an hour or two to mourn the loss of his previous figure. There were also an entire section for expecting mothers but Tony avoided it, not wanting Natasha to get even more frustrated, even though he had an excuse ready for anyone who decided to ask why he was looking through it.

Natasha tapped his arm a few minutes later. “I thought you wanted to go see that store.”

“I do,” Tony said, turning to her. “I’m just a bit busy right now.”  
  
There was a small furrow between her eyebrows, and a serious look in her eyes. “Never mind that. Let’s just go.”  
  
Tony set down the lotion he was looking at, concerned. “What’s wrong?”  
  
“Nothing,” Natasha said, smiling. The only reason Tony could tell she was faking was because of how long he had known her. “I want to go, that’s all.”  
  
“Okay…” Tony said slowly, deciding not to press the issue for now. “Let’s go.”  
  
He watched her carefully as they left, and at one point she turned her head minutely, not enough to be noticeable to anyone unless they were looking for it. However, he couldn’t figure what she was looking at.

They wandered around for a while, grabbing a meal when Tony started craving a burger, and eventually made it back to the baby store. Tony made a beeline to the newborn clothing, Natasha right at his side. For some reason, she didn’t seem comfortable leaving him, or maybe it was part of their ruse.

He looked in wonder at all the options, wondering where he should start.

“Tony, look.” Natasha showed him tiny socks, and to his horror, Tony found himself tearing up.

“They’re so small,” he choked out, just before he started crying.

“You sure he’s not the one who’s actually pregnant?” a woman jokingly asked.

Natasha laughed, deftly turning Tony so that he was facing her, hiding any hint of the bump, and making it look like she was comforting him. Though maybe she was, with the hand rubbing against his back. “Nah, he’s just really emotional.”

It took Tony a few more minutes to calm down, embarrassed by his display of tears and remembering the last time he had cried in public, all those months ago, before he even knew he was pregnant. Natasha simply smiled at him sympathetically and showed him another onesie, one that said, “Mama’s little boy.”

“We don’t know the gender yet,” Tony said, though his heart lurched at the thought of being “Mama.”

Natasha put it back. “Right. I’ll go look over there. You’ll be fine, right?”  
  
“Uh-huh.” Tony looked at several more clothes, laying the ones he liked over his arms.

“Do you need any help?” an employee offered.

Tony startled slightly. “Huh? Oh, no, I’m fine.”

The lady nodded. “Well, if you need anything just tell me–” she cut herself off and squinted, leaning closer. “Wait, aren’t you Tony Stark?”

“No,” Tony said immediately, continuing to rifle through the clothes.

“Trust me, I’ve spent more time looking at photos of you than you probably have in the mirror.”

Tony shrugged. He’d heard stranger things from fans.

“Oh my god,” the woman breathed, eyes widening. Her voice loudened, slightly, as if she couldn’t hear what she was saying. “Oh my god, I’m talking to Tony Stark.”

“Hey, quiet,” Tony said. “I’m in disguise for a reason.”

“O–oh, of course!” she stuttered. “But, uh, why are you in a store for baby supplies?”

“For whatever you do in a store like this?” Tony said. “What do you think about this one?” He held up a pale green onesie that had a picture of a cute, baby dinosaur on it.

“Aw, that’s so cute! Wait a minute, does that mean…No way. I knew you were having an affair with Black Widow!”

Tony closed his eyes. “Uh, what makes you think it’s an affair? What if we’re just keeping quiet on the relationship for now?” _Not helping_ , he told himself. One wrong word and this would be all over tabloids.

“So you two _are_ having a kid together?”

Tony realized that if he didn’t say the right thing that this would go south very quickly. Who knew what kind of gossip she would spread? “No, we aren’t, and we’re not dating, or together in any way, either. I have a friend who’s pregnant– _not_ Black Widow, or Pepper for that matter–so I’m looking for gifts for her. That’s it. And she’s just a friend, nothing more,” Tony added after a second.

Before the woman could say anything, Natasha came back to his side, wrapping an arm around his own and leaning against it. “Tony, let’s go.” She grabbed everything he was holding and set the clothes down, steering him to the exit.

“Bye,” the lady said. “It was nice meeting you, Mr. Stark!”

Tony reached back towards the clothes. “Wait, no,” he protested. “You didn’t let me buy anything at the other store either.”

Natasha huffed. “You can come shop later. I want some cotton candy ice cream right now.”

“We came to the mall to shop, not to eat!” Tony snapped, frustrated, before his brain caught up with what she said and he frowned in confusion. First of all, why was she being so specific? That sort of craving was reserved for Tony. Second of all, Natasha generally preferred fruity flavors, not the purely sweet ones.

Her words ran through his head again, and he realized that she was using their weekly code which was meant they were being followed.

Tony fought the urge to start looking around for their follower. It wasn’t that lady, was it?

“You have tried cotton candy ice cream, right?” Natasha prompted again. “It’s delicious.”

Tony sighed, resigning himself to the fact that their trip to the mall would be ruined. “Yeah, I have, but my favorite’s cookie dough,” which was code for “Understood”.

The Avengers had an entire list of code words for any sort of situation they could come up with though they only tended to be used in civilian settings. The only thing was, the codes changed weekly, in case any enemies picked up on the fact that the Avengers seemingly had an inexplicable obsession with cotton candy flavored ice cream. This week’s theme was, obviously, ice cream flavors. Tony wasn’t exactly sure whose idea it was to start using such ridiculous codewords, but hey, the system worked for the most part, except for the fact that someone could forget a word. Luckily, the majority of the team had excellent memories, so it wasn’t as troubling as it could have been.

“Lame,” Natasha scoffed. “You don’t know true ice cream.”

Tony simply rolled his eyes, going along with the act. “Whatever you say.”

She dragged him all the way across the mall to an ice cream stand, ordering the cotton candy ice cream she didn’t even like. Tony settled on cookie dough, because mentioning it had given him an intense craving.

“We should go now,” Natasha whispered while pretending to lick her ice cream.

Tony nodded. “I’m getting tired anyway. Oh, and by the way, you owe me. I didn’t get any shopping done because of you.”  
  
“I’ll buy you anything you want next time as long as we leave now,” Natasha said. There was no urgency in her tone, but Tony got the hint, and started walking in the direction of the exit. Natasha stopped him from trying to walk quickly. “Don’t give the impression that you know something is wrong. They might already know there is, but this way we could avoid a confrontation.” Her eyes strayed to the side, and she said, “Oh, shit, never mind,” and pulled out a gun from somewhere.

In the same moment, Tony felt a strong arm wrap around his neck and pull him backwards. Something cold and metallic pressed against his temple, his baseball cap having gotten knocked off in the process. Tony fought the urge to groan. Why couldn’t they go one day in public without getting ambushed?

There were loud gasps and shouts from the people around them. Hopefully at least one of them had the sense to call the police or something.

“Drop the gun,” his attacker said, “or I’ll shoot. You wouldn’t like that, would you? The two of them dying.”

Goddammit. Whoever this was (HYDRA? It was probably HYDRA) knew, and they just had to announce it to the public.

Natasha’s eyes flickered with hesitation. Her grip on the gun loosened.

Had it been any other time, she may have risked shooting the man. Tony trusted her, and, well, if he died then he died. He had accepted that long ago. But he knew currently there was no way she would do anything that threatened his baby. Tony couldn’t blame her. They’d just have to find another way out of this.

Similarly, Tony might have used some maneuvers to get out of the hold, since it was a basic one and not even that tight, but he was not about to risk getting hit with a bullet right now.

Natasha lowered the gun and dropped it. “Let him go.”

“I don’t think so.” The man’s grip tightened, not enough to choke Tony but enough to be a warning. Tony reached up and gripped the arm, attempting to loosen its hold. “Stark and his baby could be useful to HYDRA.”  
  
And that was how Tony knew the guy was bluffing with the gun. If HYDRA really wanted him, they wanted him alive, so there was no way he would shoot Tony. Judging by Natasha’s roll of her eyes, she realized the same thing.

“You think we’re just going to let you take him?” Natasha asked.

“Of course I don’t. I’ll make you let me,” the guy said easily. Several people in the crowd screamed suddenly, and Tony turned his head as much as he could. Apparently, there had been more than one agent because now there were several other people holding guns and aiming them at the terrified group of people. “All these people die if you don’t come quietly,” he said to Tony.

“I can’t do much more than come quietly,” Tony snapped, and attempted to struggle in the chokehold to prove his point. He caught Natasha’s eyes and nodded. Her jaw tightened, but she didn’t look surprised. “Listen, I’ll come. Just don’t hurt anyone.”

Natasha shook her head. “Tony, don’t do this.”  
  
The man laughed. “Stark’s made his choice, just like I knew he would.” He began to drag Tony to the entrance of the mall, Tony trying to keep up and not trip over his feet. “I’m excited for this, you know,” he said loudly, enough that everyone could hear. Asshole. “I was tempted to just cut the baby out of you and make you watch, but this works too.”

Murmurs came from the crowd surrounding them, but they were quickly silenced by the other HYDRA agents  
  
“It wouldn’t survive at this point,” Tony said, trying to push down his absolute horror at the thought of what the agent said. The man was insane. “It’s only been about five months.”

“We have our ways.”  
  
Tony had no doubt they did. At a particularly harsh shove from the agent, he stumbled, and that was all the time it took for the entrance to the mall to burst open, several members of the Avengers rushing in. Tony breathed a sigh of relief. He had figured Natasha called in for backup at some point.

Upon seeing the Avengers, some of the HYDRA agents holding the people hostage immediately dropped their guns and attempted to run off. Wanda quickly stopped that by throwing up a magical barrier, trapping them within the area.

The agent holding Tony cursed and fumbled for the gun, but before he could do anything, Clint came out of nowhere and just–straight up smacked the guy holding Tony in the head with his bow.

“You know,” Clint started as the man dropped to the ground, unconscious. Unfortunately, as Tony happened to learn, when someone’s arm was around your neck and they became dead weight, it was easy to drag you down with them, even if you weren’t five months pregnant.

 _Fortunately_ , Clint had insanely fast reflexes and caught Tony before he could hit the ground. Clint continued as if nothing had happened, pulling Tony close to his side and wrapping an arm around his waist. “Sometimes it’s really inconvenient living so far from the city. You’re lucky Natasha contacted us so early.”

Tony brushed off his clothes, pressing both hands against his belly protectively and frowning at Clint. “You’re welcome to move back if you don’t like it.”

Clint seemed to think about it, even as he efficiently took out another agent that came straight at them. “Nah, too much effort. Come on, Steve’ll kill me if I let you stay here one second longer.” He paused. “Or Barnes.”

The fight, if it could even be called that, was not particularly chaotic. Tony highly doubted this was an organized attack. There were only about fifteen villains at most, and the majority of the HYDRA agents seemed to have realized they may have a better chance if they surrendered. The Avengers were quickly dispatching the rest without any sort of casualties, so there really was no danger.

Tony decided to listen for once anyway because he wanted to go home before the shock of what just happened caught up with him. He took one more look at the scene, then followed Clint out of the mall exit. Outside, police officers were just arriving, with an ambulance as well. Several of them were clustered around the quinjet the team presumably used to get here.

An officer they had worked with before, O’Connor, hurried up to the two, looking confused. “Aren’t you supposed to be a hostage?” he said to Tony.

“I was for, like, five minutes,” Tony answered.  
  
“There’s just some HYDRA agents, it’s really pathetic,” Clint said lazily, waving a hand. “Don’t worried about anything. The Avengers have got it covered.”

“And no one’s been injured yet,” Tony added. “Well, besides the agents.”  
  
O’Connor sighed. “Dammit. Even when you live hours away you still beat us to everything.” He pulled out his wallet and handed a twenty to another officer that had just come up.

“Told you they’d be there before us,” the other officer said, taking the twenty.

“Shut up and do something useful, Rains.” He waited until Rains left to inform the other police of the situation. Turning back to Tony, O’Connor said, “Now, you seem to be fine, but I’m still obligated to have you checked out by the paramedics, so if you could just follow me?”  
  
“Oh, that’s...okay,” Tony said slowly. “I’m good, right, Clint?”  
  
Clint frowned. “I dunno, man, it might actually be a good idea since you’re pregnant.” There was an awkward pause in which all three of them registered what Clint had just said, before he froze, his eyes widening. “Oh fuck I did not mean to say that Tony please don’t kill me.”  
  
Tony stared at him disbelievingly, mouth dropped open. “Why do I even talk to you?”

“Wait, what?” O’Connor said. “Did I hear that right?”  
  
“No,” Tony said immediately.

“Well, it certainly sounded like–”  
  
Tony cut him off, sick of this stupid police officer, of Clint, of the fact that all he wanted was to go to the mall but fucking HYDRA had to ruin it. “Okay, you know what, yes, I am pregnant, I don’t even care anymore, that dumbass HYDRA agent announced it to the entire world anyway so I might as well admit it.”  
  
O’Connor nodded slowly. “...Okay. You are–okay.” He seemed to war with himself for a moment, before choking out, _“How?”_

“Aliens,” Tony said in a deadpan voice. O’Connor looked as though he wasn’t sure whether or not to believe Tony.

“Hey, Officer,” Steve said from behind Tony, who jumped. “We’ve got the situation handled. Most of the agents surrendered or are unconscious and there are, miraculously, no injured civilians.”  
  
“Yeah, I’ll just...go deal with that. And, uh, Captain, make sure the paramedics look Mr. Stark over,” O’Connor said, before stepping backwards without turning around. He eventually ran off to where the rest of the officers were arresting the HYDRA agents, the other Avengers helping.

They waited until he was out of earshot, then Steve said, “Is he okay?”

“Oh, I told him I was pregnant. Actually, Clint did, but I confirmed it.”  
  
Steve seemed to be searching for something to say to that. “Tony, do you know what a secret means?”  
  
Tony shrugged helplessly. “The HYDRA agent already shouted it out to everyone in the mall, so it’s going to be on the news in just a few hours anyway.”

Steve furrowed his brow. There was a worried glint in his eyes. “HYDRA knows you’re pregnant? How did they find out?”  
  
Shit. Everything had happened so fast Tony didn’t even realize that, technically, there was no way they should have known his secret. He opened his mouth, then closed it. “I don’t know. I hadn’t thought of that.”

Steve groaned and pressed his hands against his temples. “God, this is exactly what Bucky warned us of.”  
  
“How did they even know you were here today?” Clint asked.

“I don’t know, okay? It came out of nowhere. Natasha might have an idea, because clearly she knew what was going on.”

Steve nodded, then glanced down at Tony. “Wait. Is that my fucking hoodie?”  
  
There was no point in lying about it, because it was clearly too large for Tony anyway, even with his added weight. “Yes.”

“Where did–how did you get that? I’ve been looking for it for weeks!”

“Honestly, it just got mixed up with my laundry and I didn’t bother returning it.”

“You’re such an asshole,” Steve mumbled. “But whatever. It looks better on you than me.”

Tony blinked. “It’s literally just a hoodie.”  
  
Steve blanched, then blushed. Tony didn’t even realize it was possible for the face to change colors quickly. He was a little concerned. “Never–never mind. Forget I said that. Forget I said anything.”

“Okay, weirdo,” Tony said fondly, smiling. Steve was pretty cute when he was flustered.

Clint was staring at Steve. “You’re lucky Natasha isn’t here right now because she’d call you an idiot.”  
  
Steve didn’t look surprised about that.

Tony sighed and grabbed Steve’s arm, attempting to steer him towards the quinjet. He didn’t know why he bothered because it would be easier moving a brick wall. “Come on, let’s go. I want to leave before the reporters get here.”  
  
“We do need to debrief first, Tony,” Steve said gently.

Goddammit. Tony couldn’t stop the frustrated tears from coming to his eyes and, not for the first time, cursed his out-of-control hormones. “I just want to go home,” he said, voice clogged.

“Oh, God, no, no, Tony, don’t cry, okay? Please don’t cry,” Steve sounded as panicked as he always was whenever Tony failed to control his emotions, which was almost always now. “I’m sorry, we’ll be done soon, can’t you just wait a little bit longer?”

Tony burst into tears.

“For fuck’s sake, Cap, can’t you go one day without making Tony cry?” Clint said, exasperated. “Tony, stop, everyone’s looking at you.”  
  
Tony just shook his head, standing there crying and feeling pathetic.

“Clint, get him in the quinjet, I’ll, uh, I’ll talk to everyone.”

Clint hesitated, his hand hovering above Tony’s arm. “Wasn’t he supposed to go into medical?” Tony was so confused he stopped sobbing, though his breath still hitched and tears still streamed down his cheeks. Holy shit, Clint was actually serious. Clearly Tony being pregnant changed his attitude, because normally he’d be right there with Tony in avoiding medical.

Great. If Clint was going to act like this now, then Tony had no hope of the rest of the Avengers taking him seriously.

“We can do that in the compound,” Steve said, pushing the two of them to the quinjet. “Just–calm him down, yeah?”

Clint helped Tony up into the quinjet, and then pushed him into a seat and sat down next to him. “Guess you really freaked out Cap.”  
  
Tony shrugged. “I’m tired,” he said quietly. “Where’s James?”  
  
“Cap didn’t let him come. He wanted to, though.”  
  
Tony nodded. He figured as much. He pulled out his phone and responded to James’ thirty-seven texts, assuring him that he was safe.

 

_James_

_Thank god i don’t what i would do if someone hurt you_

_And the baby?_

 

_You_

_Yeah_

_James_

_Good tell the baby i love him/her_

 

_You_

_Haha will do_

 

Feeling slightly weird and dumb, Tony rested a hand against his stomach. “You daddy says he loves you.” There was no response, not that Tony was expecting one, not at all.

Clint blinked at him. “Please don’t do that in front of me.”  
  
Tony merely flipped him the bird in response, then texted Pepper and Rhodey in their groupchat, telling them what happened. The two of them responded immediately, desperately asking if he was okay.

 

_Iron bitches_

 

_You_

_Im fine clam down nothing even happened_

_Honey_

_u sure tones??? did they hurt you_

 

_Pepperpot_

_We’ll gladly kill them for you._

_You_

_For the love of god don’t do anything illegal_

_Honey_

_ur a few decades to late to say that_

_You_

_You guys are annoying only the baby is my friend now_

_Pepper convince rhodey not to do something stupid_

 

_Pepperpot_

_What makes you think I’m not helping him?_

_You left the conversation._

Tony looked up as Steve entered the quinjet, Wanda, Sam, and Pietro following him. “I talked to Natasha and the officers. She’ll handle the debrief and statement,” Steve said. “Clint, you fly the jet.”  
  
“Fine, whatever,” Clint said, standing up and heading to the cockpit. Steve took his seat and wrapped an arm around Tony’s shoulders.

“I’m sorry, Tony. I didn’t mean to make you cry.”  
  
“It’s fine,” Tony said easily. It really wasn’t a problem. “You know how I cry at everything now.”  
  
“Yeah, but still…”

Tony picked his phone up again, checking whatever the hell Pepper and Rhodey were doing now. “Don’t worry about it. Really.”

_Honey added you to the conversation._

_3/4/17, 5:02 PM_

_Honey_

_u can run but you cant hide from us tony._

Tony rolled his eyes.

_You named the conversation “Help theyre keeping me hostage”._

_3/4/17, 5:05 PM_

 

_Pepperpot named the conversation “Iron bitches"._

_3/4/17, 5:06 PM_

Steve leaned over, looking at his screen. “Why is there an octopus?”  
  
“It’s our mascot.”  
  
“I...see…” Steve said, though it was clear he didn’t.

As the jet took off, Tony couldn’t but feel a sudden wave of tiredness. He tilted his head, leaning it against Steve’s shoulder, and let sleep overtake him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In case you were wondering, the octopus is in their groupchat name.


	6. Month Five (Part Two)

The moment Tony stepped into the compound, he was accosted by a terrified supersoldier, and found himself pressed tightly into James’ chest.

“Okay, I’m going,” Steve said, and fast-walked away from them. What was his problem?

“God, Tony,” James whispered, drawing Tony’s attention away from whatever was wrong with Steve. “I was so scared something would happen to you and the baby. You’re okay, right? I know you said you were but I still need to see it.” James pulled apart, holding Tony’s head so he could check for injuries.

“I’m fine, James,” Tony said brightly as James turned his head from side to side. “Really, don’t worry. The Avengers came before anything happened.”

James slowly lowered himself to his knees in front of Tony, hands hovering over the swell of his stomach, waiting for invitation. He’d never been this forward before. Tony had let him feel (God that sounded wrong), obviously, seeing as how he was the father, but he’d never taken the initiative before.

Tony nodded. It seemed as though both of them were holding their breaths. James pressed his hands against Tony’s belly, leaning forward until he could kiss his stomach one, two, three times. He dropped his head, forehead bumping against Tony.

“You alright?” Tony asked when James just sat there, not moving.

“Next time you go out I want to be with you,” James blurted. He paused. “I mean, if it’s fine with you.”  
  
Tony’s first instinct was to say no, because he could handle himself and didn’t need to be babysat, but...it couldn’t hurt, could it? As long as James didn’t become increasingly controlling, Tony shouldn’t really have a problem with it. And, well, so far James had been pretty...hesitant about contradicting Tony on anything (which was something Tony had been trying to bring him out of) so he probably wouldn’t try anything extreme.

Hey, maybe this could be a bonding experience for the two of them. Tony still wasn’t entirely sure that James cared about him as well and not just the baby.

“Sure,” Tony said after giving it some thought.

James lifted himself up and hugged Tony. “Thank you, Tony.”

Tony savored the hug as much as he could, wishing, not for the first time, that James returned his feelings. It was a little bit pathetic, maybe, to get so hung up on the guy when they really only knew each for a few weeks, but could anyone blame him?

James was alarmingly nice, and charming, and never complained, even when Tony had started screaming and throwing things at him that one day (Tony had tearfully apologized immediately, of course). And, okay, fine, James was probably one of the hottest guys he’d ever seen, and he wouldn’t mind getting that–um.

He needed to stop. His hormonal body was getting ahead of itself. Not–not that– _that_ would work anyway, what with his...messed up...private...features. James would probably just think Tony was more of a freak than he already seemed.

Okay, great, and now Tony might be tearing up a little. Again. It figured he’d be that one pregnant person that cried all the time.

“Tony?”

“I was so scared,” Tony choked out, instead of the truth–although that was true as well. He had been _terrified_ , thinking of all the ways HYDRA could hurt him or the baby. By the time the Avengers had arrived on the scene, his overactive mind had come up with 154.

James wiped away a stray tear, and how could Tony not love him after that? “You’re safe now. Come on, let’s get you to bed, you must be tired.” He was right, but Tony wasn’t going to admit it. He didn’t fight against it either, though.

James gently took him by the arm and led him to his bedroom, helping him into the bed because Tony’s balance was horrible these days. He fussed for a moment with the blankets, making sure Tony was comfortable. Tony let out a sigh, sinking more into the pillows. Walking around the mall really had tired him out, and the added stress of HYDRA hadn’t helped. “You good?”

Tony almost blurted, “I’d be better if you were here with me.” What he said instead was, “Always.”

“Good,” James said, “that’s–great. I’ll just.” He turned awkwardly. “Go then.”

Tony wanted to hit something. Taking deep breaths, he pushed down the urge and curled into himself as much as he could. He had slept in the jet on the way back to the compound but Tony could easily sleep the whole day away now, so it wasn’t long before he found himself dreaming of having a family, with James and their little baby.

* * *

Tony wandered into the common room two hours later, having been woken up by a panicked call from Dr. Nkosi, his OB/GYN, so obviously the media had found out what happened. She had pushed his next appointment to tomorrow to make sure everything was fine with the baby. It hadn’t occurred to Tony that something might have happened, mostly because he hadn’t been injured at all, and by extension, the baby, which made Tony freak out over whether this meant he was a bad parent until JARVIS calmed him down.

He wasn’t really feeling that rested but that was normal for him so it didn’t really matter. The TV was on, and what a fucking surprise, it was discussing what had happened earlier.

“Oh, Tony, here.” Steve moved closer to Sam, making space next to James.

“What have they been saying?” Tony asked, sitting down. James looked tense, his metal fist clenched. Tony wanted to hold it so that it might relax.

“It started like five minutes ago, so they only really recapped what happened,” Steve said.

“Have they said anything about...you know…”

Steve shook his head. “No, actually. I don’t think they know yet.”  
  
And now the reporter on screen was interviewing someone, probably a witness. “Do you remember what happened?” the interviewer asked.

The lady nodded. “At first everything happened so quick I barely realized what was going on. I just noticed a bunch of people suddenly freaking out, I looked over, and there was a guy holding a gun against Tony Stark’s head. Then they talked for a few minutes, and Stark agreed to go with him...I think he was HYDRA? Before they left though, the Avengers came and started a fight and that’s basically what happened. The entire thing only took about ten minutes, I think.”

“And do you know any possible reason this attack could have happened?”

“Honestly, I could barely keep up with whatever was going on,” the lady said. “And, um, I did hear a few things but I had no idea whether or not I was hearing right because it was–” She bit her lip, “–you know, out of this world stuff. I thought maybe I was just hallucinating.”  
  
“Hallucinating?” the interviewer echoed. “What could they have said to make you think that?”

Tony...kind of didn’t want to watch this happen live. But he couldn’t stop looking, like it was a bad car accident.

James suddenly grabbed his hand and held onto it tightly. That worked too.

The lady shrugged. “Stuff that implied Stark was, I don’t know, pregnant? The guy was threatening to cut his baby out of him. Unless that’s some bizarre saying I haven’t heard before, I don’t know what else he could have meant.”

“I…” The interviewer looked at a loss for words. That was pretty impressive, considering most journalists never stopped talking. “Do you have any definitive proof?”  
  
“Uh, not really? Stark was looking kind of fat, but that’s normal for people his age.”   
  
“Hey,” Tony said. Way to insult his weight and age in one go. He refused to acknowledge that she had a point.

James chuckled. Tony startled, but only because it was the first time James had laughed since moving to the compound. “Wait ‘till later. This is nothing.”  
  
Tony shoved him playfully. “James!” he cried, pretending to be offended. “Is that any way to treat the mother of your child?”

“We’re really going for mom then?” Sam asked snidely.

James wrapped his arm around Tony protectively, surprising him. Why did that make him blush? He wasn’t a damn teenager on his first date. “You got a problem with it?”

“It’s weird,” was all Sam said.

“Your face is weird,” James said.

“Real mature.”  
  
_“Guys,”_ Steve said in a pained voice. He was frowning at the TV, which was now showing a talking head of two news reporters.

“Currently, there’s been no confirmation that Stark may be pregnant or any statement on the hostage situation, but that’s because it’s still early. We’ve have reached out to his associates for an answer, and are hoping for one within the next day or so,” the woman said.

Tony’s phone rang right that second, and he stood up and went into the kitchen to take the call, already knowing it was Pepper. “I’m assuming you’ve seen the news.”  
  
“Tony, why didn’t you tell me they spilled your secret?” Pepper sounded frustrated. Not at him, hopefully, though that might just be wishful thinking.

“HYDRA, you mean?” Tony asked. “It slipped my mind. I was dealing with a lot of stuff at the moment.”  
  
Pepper’s voice softened. “I get that, but you could have mentioned it.” There was a sigh. “Well, I guess we have no choice to confirm it, before anyone else does. It figures this happens the day we were talking about it.”

“Are you going to talk about how it happened?”  
  
“Do you mind that?” Pepper said.

Tony shook his head, then remembered Pepper couldn’t see him. Wow, Tony. “No specifics, but you can definitely say this has magical origins from one specific being, just to keep other guys from freaking out or claiming to be pregnant themselves.” He saw Steve enter from the corner of his eye, on the phone himself.

Pepper sounded a bit more excited. What a weirdo. “Great, I’ll work on the statement with Marcy and run it over by you afterwards. We’ll figure out how it’ll affect the company then.”

“Got it. Bye, Pepper.”  
  
“Bye.”

Tony ended the call, then turned to Steve. “What’s up?”

“I was talking to the police. They interrogated the guy who held you hostage. Apparently, HYDRA had no idea you were going to be there. It was just a lucky coincidence and he called for backup when he noticed you.”  
  
Tony wasn’t sure if it was worse that HYDRA was after him, or that the entire thing was unplanned and they just took the opportunity. The entire thing could have been avoided if Tony had had a better disguise, or just not gone that day. “Do you know how they found out about the baby?”   
  
“Not yet.”   
  
“Do you think it was me?” James said from behind them. Tony startled, and James put a calming hand on his shoulder, squeezing it lightly. Steve’s eyes flickered there for a moment, before going back to Tony. “I went after a bunch o’ HYDRA agents. I didn’t let anything slip, but maybe someone figured things out?”   
  
“That’s a bizarre thing to figure out,” Tony said.

“There may not be one specific thing that gave it away,” Steve said, sighing. “For all we know it was just a bunch of clues that they put together. I mean, who knows where they get their information from?”  
  
“Your doctor?” James suggested. “That kid you told in the restaurant?”   
  
Steve was staring at Tony. “What kid? Peter?”

Tony refused to even entertain the possibility. “No, she wouldn’t do that, she used to work for SHIELD before what happened, and before you say anything, why wouldn’t she have sworn her allegiance to HYDRA after the truth came out? She’s literally just a normal OB/GYN, and let’s be real, if she was undercover for the very unlikely chance that I somehow ended up pregnant and chose her as my doctor then either HYDRA has really fucking weird plans or someone there can see the future.”  
  
“Okay, fine, but the others?” Steve said.

“Neither would Daniel, or Peter.”

Steve turned and grabbed an apple from the fruit bowl, biting into it. “Tony, I get that, but we have to figure this out, otherwise you’ll be in danger.”

“Fine. But it’s not Daniel or Peter. They’re kids, and way too good to get tangled up in HYDRA.”

“It could have been a complete accident,” Steve said, taking another bite of his apple. “Maybe HYDRA forced it out of them, if they know you have a connection to them.”

Tony’s heart stopped for a second. What if HYDRA had hurt one of them? Then logic set in, and he said, “They would have told me, and I know both Daniel and Peter are fine because I saw or talked to them recently.”  
  
“Blackmail,” James said. “Or they could have found out just today.”

Tony threw his hands up. “We are literally going in circles. I’m just going to have dinner and then sleep, and tomorrow I’m seeing my doctor, who’s _not_ a HYDRA agent.”   
  
James and Steve shared a look, then Steve shrugged. “Sure. Anything in particular you want?”   
  
“Anything that you haven’t cooked,” Tony said, because if he admitted that he really wanted to eat chicken nuggets soaked in pickle juice he’d never hear the end of it. It sounded so good, though...

James let out a loud laugh. “Oh, you poor soul. You’ve eaten his food?”

“It’s not that bad,” Steve started.

“Clint had to be hospitalized, and this is the guy that once ate three day old pizza sitting in the trash can without any problem.”

James looked as though he wanted to throw up. “Why?” he whispered.

“It’s Clint,” was all Tony said. “Anyway, unless you guys want to watch me eat something disgusting, you’d better get out of here.”  
  
Steve made a beeline for the exit, well-acquainted with some of Tony’s more creative meals. James, however, hesitated. “It’s not three day old pizza from the trash, is it?”   
  
“I wouldn’t eat that even if I was craving it,” Tony said, feeling nauseated at the thought. Great. Now James was ruining his appetite. “Seriously though, get out.”

* * *

“I heard what happened on the news,” Dr. Nkosi said when Tony walked into the room for the appointment with James. Blunt and to the point. Tony liked that about her. Dr. Nkosi was a sweet woman from South Africa who moved to America to pursue her passion for medicine and somehow ended up in SHIELD at some point, up until its dissolution a few years back. She had a wonderful sense of humor and, according to Pepper, was a horrible enabler of Tony’s antics. “You’re okay, right?”

Tony smiled reassuringly. “I am. Oh, this is James, he’s the father.”  
  
“Hey,” was all James said. Tony rolled his eyes, elbowing him.

“Nice to meet you,” Dr. Nkosi said. There was a furrow between her brows, probably because Tony hadn’t brought him up before. “Are you together?”

“Yeah,” Tony said in confusion. “I mean, that’s why we’re standing here.”  
  
“No, I mean are you dating? Or married, but I’m pretty certain you aren’t.”   
  
“Oh,” Tony said. “Oh!” He looked at James, blushing. “Uh, no. No, we’re not together. Like that. I know that we’re about to be parents but yeah, we’re not. Dating.”

“No, no, definitely not,” James said at the exact same time.

Dr. Nkosi looked them dubiously, then decided to move on. “Okay, whatever. Tony, I’m going to do an ultrasound today just to check on the baby. It’s supposed to happen in the twentieth week but I think we’re close enough for that so it doesn’t really matter. First, I’ll need to check your weight, so if you could step on the scale.” She didn’t pause a second to breathe.

Tony sighed, doing as he was told. He hated seeing the numbers go up every time he checked his weight. Oh, and look at that, he had gained three pounds since the last checkup.

The doctor marked the numbers down, then led him over to the examination table. “Now I need to check your blood pressure and heartbeat, and after that I need a urine sample.”

Tony went through the motions, used to all this by now. James just watched in interest–not the peeing part, obviously–standing there quietly by Tony’s side.

Then the ultrasound part came. Tony hadn’t seen the baby since his first appointment, and he was excited to see how much it had grown from the blob it initially was.

“Oh, and would you like to know the gender?” she asked.

Tony and Bucky froze. “What?” Tony said.

“I can tell the gender now. Would you like to know?” Dr. Nkosi asked as she pulled on her gloves.

They looked at each other. Both of their eyes were wide. Tony hadn’t mentally prepared himself before finding out the gender. It just hadn’t occurred to him. But… “I...I would like to know. Uh, I really don’t need any more surprises. If it’s fine with James,” Tony added.

“Yeah, this whole baby thing was enough of a surprise,” James said.

“Alright.” Dr. Nkosi smiled warmly. “Lie back a little bit and pull up your shirt.”  
  
Tony reluctantly pulled his shirt up, and said, “Don’t look,” to James.

“I really don’t care.” As if to prove his point, James placed his flesh hand over the exposed skin for a moment. “It’s proof of the baby, Tony.”

“Please just get a room,” Dr. Nkosi said, and began rubbing the jelly over his abdomen, ignoring his squirming at the coldness. “Oh, would you look at that,” she said after a few moments.

Tony stared in awe at the black and white image of his baby. He could actually get an idea of where it was and what it looked like now. Tony could feel his stomach fluttering out of nerves, and grabbed James’ hand.

“Congratulations, you two! Seems you have a little boy.”

Tony inhaled sharply. A boy. His grip tightened. “A boy,” he whispered. “We have a baby boy, James.” His voice was thick with emotion.

“God, Tony, I know,” James said, just as quiet. He pressed even closer to Tony, impossibly closer. “It never even occurred to me that–holy _shit_. I forgot the baby would even have a gender at some point. But it’s a boy. We have a boy.”

“I think that’s the most you’ve said at once,” Tony said, going for teasing and lighthearted, and missing by a mile.

The doctor just watched them for a bit, smiling, before she cleared her throat. “Well, so far the baby seems on track. All the measurements are fine, though it does seem a bit on the small side. But,” she gestured at Tony, “that’s probably for the best.”

“Excuse me,” Tony said, “what are you implying?”

“You damn well know what I mean,” Dr. Nkosi said.

Of course he did, just like every other time someone made a joke about his height, although Tony most certainly did not care about what they said. So what if he was shorter than average? It didn’t affect his worth, so he didn’t understand why people insisted on teasing him.

Okay, so maybe he was a little, as Peter put it, salty. (Ha! He _could_ use modern slang! Take, that Peter!)

“I like your height,” James offered, which, what? Did the guy even know what the fuck he was saying half the time?

Dr. Nkosi shook her head. “Unbelievable.”

Tony had no idea what she was talking about.

* * *

“How did your appointment go?” Steve asked while Tony was in the kitchen grabbing a bite to eat. His doctor had recommended that he go with smaller portions and graze throughout the day rather than having a few large meals. It wasn’t that hard to handle since Tony already ate like that most of the time.

“It went fine,” Tony said vaguely, eating one of his carrots. He hid a smile then. “We found out the gender.”

Steve’s eyes went wide. “You did? What is it? Uh, that’s if you want to tell me, you know.”

“Why would I have a problem with that?” There was no response. Steve looked away awkwardly. Tony was getting a little worried about him. The past few weeks Steve just...hadn’t really seemed like himself, becoming distant from Tony. Tony wasn’t sure if it had to do with his time in the ice or something else entirely, but he wished Steve would open up to him. It had been a struggle to get Steve to acknowledge his feelings the first time around, and Tony most definitely did not want to go through that again. “It’s a boy,” he offered, thinking that maybe it would cheer Steve up.

Steve turned back to Tony, a wide smile on his face. “That’s great, Tony.” He came closer, arms wide open for a hug. “Uh.” His face turned hesitant suddenly, and he pulled down his arms.

“No, no,” Tony said. “Come on, you can hug me.” To prove his point, Tony stood on his tiptoes as much as he could (it was a lot harder now) and wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck.

Steve hugged back as tightly as he could without crushing Tony’s belly. It seemed that the hug had really mattered to Steve, because it lasted for a long time.   
  
When they separated, Tony went back to eating his carrots, while Steve stood there quietly. The silence wasn’t awkward, though. It was...comfortable.

“So you and Bucky seem close,” Steve commented idly.

Oh, great. “Is it that obvious?” Tony moaned.

Steve froze, clutching the countertop. “What? What’s obvious?”  
  
Okay, so maybe he didn’t know what Tony was talking about. “No–nothing. It’s nothing.”   
  
“Are you guys...in a relationship?” Steve asked. Strange. His face was pale. “I–I mean, not that there’s anything wrong with that, he’s the father of your child after all, but–”

There was a loud _crack!_ Steve removed his hand as if it were burned. Tony stared at the large crack in the countertop. “Why,” he said, mind still processing it.

“I’m going to go,” Steve said, all but running out of the room.

“JARVIS, what’s wrong with him?” Tony asked. He had time to be angry about the countertop later. Steve had seemed pretty distressed, though Tony couldn’t imagine why. This didn’t help Tony’s worries about Steve, however. There was definitely something going on with him.

Tony missed the dorky, awkward guy that would accidentally lie about being pregnant.

“I’m afraid I can’t disclose that information, even to you–” Literally what in the world could _JARVIS_ not tell Tony? “–but just as a suggestion, next time you see Captain Rogers tell him you and Sergeant Barnes are not dating.”

“Huh? Why would he care? It’s obvious we aren’t.”  
  
“I could not possibly comprehend why, Sir.” JARVIS sounded both sarcastic and frustrated, like there was something he wanted to say but couldn’t. “Humans think on a scale far different than my own.”

“Aw, thanks, J, but you’re the smartest thing there is.”

“I wasn’t complimenting you.”

Oh. _Oh._ Well, he was still right.

* * *

“JARVIS, how’s Steve doing?” Tony asked late at night, unable to sleep because of some strange squirming in his stomach. He must have eaten something bad. He was expecting for JARVIS to say Steve was sleeping, but Tony still wanted to check in on him.

“Currently, he’s in the common room.”  
  
Okay, well. Apparently not. Tony hoped it wasn’t nightmares. He hauled himself out of bed, finding his balance, and headed out to the common room. As he got closer, Tony started to lighten his footsteps, because he could swear he heard some sniffling.

There was a large figure huddled on the couch, crying softly; it couldn’t be anyone but Steve.

“Why are you sitting out here, Steve?” Tony asked gently, although he already knew the answer. Steve, whether he would admit to it, was hoping someone would come and comfort him. Otherwise he would have holed himself up in his bedroom. Well, that someone was Tony, apparently, even though he could barely handle his own emotions.

“Tony?” Steve turned his head, so that Tony wouldn’t be able to look at it. “Just go back to bed. It’s nothing.”  
  
“It sure doesn’t seem like nothing.” Tony sat down next to Steve, resting his hand near Steve’s own.

Steve shook his head, holding back a sob. “I–I can’t tell you.”

Tony shifted a little closer. His stomach squirmed again, and Tony placed his other hand on it. “You sure? Please, Steve, what’s wrong? I’m worried about you. You keep...distancing yourself from me. I miss you.”

Steve turned to look at Tony. In the moonlight, Tony could see that his eyes were red and that there were tears shining on his cheeks. “Don’t make me tell you. It’s nothing you’ll like, anyway.”  
  
Tony decided this wasn’t the time to push. “Alright, fine. But you know I’m here for you, right? Don’t shut us out again.”

There was another flutter in his stomach, and Tony looked down at it. Steve looked too, wiping his face. “Is there something wrong?” Steve asked.

“No, no, it doesn’t...hurt or anything. I think I just ate something bad.” Tony rubbed it, hoping the rumbling would die down. If anything, it just made it worse. “S’just like this, I don’t know, weird fluttering feeling, kind of like what you get when you’re nervous.”

Steve exhaled and leaned back. “You know, the baby’s supposed to start kicking around this time.”  
  
“What do you mea–oh!” Tony exclaimed at another flutter. His breath caught in his throat. “Oh my god. He’s kicking.” He looked up at Steve, elated. “He’s kicking, Steve!”   
  
Steve smiled, though there was a tinge of sadness to it. “He is.” He gently nudged Tony off the couch. “Come on, I’m sure Bucky will want to know. Go tell him.”   
  
Tony frowned. It seemed like Steve was just dismissing him, but it was clear he didn’t want to be alone, no matter what he said. “I’m sure he can wait. I mean, he’s sleeping right now.”

“Bucky would want to know,” Steve repeated.

Tony sprawled back on the couch, throwing his legs across Steve’s lap. “No, it’s fine, I want to be with you right now.”

Steve hung his head, hiding his face from Tony. “Is that true?”

“Of course. You’re my friend.” Tony was confused. Why would Steve think that he wouldn’t want to hang out with him? Did Tony really spend so much time with James that he was neglecting Steve? He felt like shit. What kind of friend would do that? Then he remembered what JARVIS had suggested earlier. “You know, James and I aren’t dating.”  
  
Steve looked at Tony from the corner of his eye. His hair had grown long and was hanging over his face. “But you want to.”   
  
“Maybe,” Tony said, because it was getting pretty obvious that Steve was jealous of James in some way, which was just–bizarre. If anything, Steve should be jealous of Tony. “Look, Steve, James is my baby’s father, which is why we’re getting along. It was kind of...forced.” Tony winced at that wording, because he genuinely did enjoy being with James, but it was true that they likely wouldn’t have interacted as much otherwise. He took Steve’s hand in both of his. “But we get along because we’re friends. I genuinely enjoy being your friend and I would never leave you for anything. If you turned out to be HYDRA, maybe, but that’s the exception. The _only_ exception. For anything else, I would follow you to the ends of the universe.”

Steve was completely silent, tears streaming down his cheeks. Tony stared, because he couldn’t tell if that had helped or made everything worse.

Finally, Steve said, “I appreciate it, Tony.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I actually didn't expect to crank this out before Infinity War but I really wanted to, because I'm actually getting excited for what happens in the story now. This is completely unedited so it may seem a bit rushed but hopefully everything is fine. 
> 
> With the way this chapter ended, I think I'll have a third part for this month, but I'm still debating it because Tony and Steve's relationship has altered and skipping to month six would leave a lot of it behind-the-scenes.
> 
> Referring to Tony’s implied height, that was largely a “fuck you” to Marvel for refusing to acknowledge the fact that he’s shorter than Pepper (or that RDJ is short at all. I’m calling bullshit on Google’s 5’8”). I swear, every time they’re shown together Tony somehow grows two inches.
> 
> Who else is dying to see Infinity War? I'm jealous because most other countries get it before America. I'm seeing it on Friday!


	7. Month Five (Part Three)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how late this was. Now that I'm in summer break, I'm hoping to at least get to the birth before school starts. Also, I forgot what day exactly I published this story but I remember it was in June last year. So, this story is about a year old now. I'm mostly sad, because in that time I've only managed seven chapters haha. Let's hope for a more consistent update schedule from here on out.
> 
> I'm amazed by the amount of comments and kudos I've received. In the beginning, I wasn't expecting this to get any attention, but I did anyway. Thank you all.

After Tony and Steve’s heart-to-heart in the middle of the night, Tony went back to bed, but was unable to sleep because of how worried he was about Steve, and wondered how he could fix their relationship. He’d hate himself in the morning, but this was far from the first time Tony had pulled an all-nighter. 

Granted, he had never been pregnant before, and he could usually drink coffee to prevent the effects of sleep deprivation, at least for a few more hours...Maybe staying up  _ had _ been a mistake.

Either way, it was clear that James, somehow, had unintentionally caused a rift, as bizarre as that sounded. If anything, it should have been Tony causing a rift between James and Steve’s relationship, especially considering what had happened before.

It had been a bit of a low point for Steve, seeing as how he broke the law several times trying to help James while his name technically hadn’t been cleared. It wasn’t until Tony snapped him out of his tunnel-vision mindset (mostly by shouting at him) that Steve realized just how unhealthy his relationship with James was, and miraculously stopped before he did anything irreparable. Steve did have to stay off the field for a bit, though, as a result of his actions.

Then Tony worked on providing evidence to clear James’ name, although it wasn’t too hard to convince the court, and in the end the only provision was that James went to therapy. 

At James’ request, though, the Avengers, especially Steve, were to stay away from him. It wasn’t an outright restraining order, and there wouldn’t be any consequences should they have sought James out, but it was preferable in the case that they accidentally caused some sort of trigger within James. 

But that was years ago, and both James and Steve were pretty much over it by now. Tony couldn’t get the thought of what Steve had done for James out of his head, though. It had been terrifying at the time; Tony had genuinely thought that Steve was going to be thrown in prison. Even after Steve had regained his lost rationality, his focus was still on James. What had changed since then?

“What do you think?” he asked his baby boy softly, because he’d figured he might as well get into the habit, as weird and awkward as he thought it was. There were a few fluttering kicks in response. Tony couldn’t help but feel a warmth in his chest. “Yeah, I don’t know either.” 

Maybe he  _ should _ sleep, and just talk to James in the morning, since it was clear he wasn’t getting anywhere right now. Tony glanced at his clock.  _ 3:41 _ . Nice.

He laid back and spent a good ten minutes trying to find the most comfortable position, or, rather, the least uncomfortable position. Everything ached these days, especially his back and chest–and quite frankly, Tony was concerned, because it seemed as though he was developing... _ breasts _ . Nothing too extreme, but according to his doctor it was likely because he would be able to nurse the baby. Ugh. 

Then, just as Tony managed to find a position that didn’t put too much pressure on his back, he realized he had to pee, and groaned in frustration. He hated this. Not–not the baby, obviously, just the situation.

Tony hauled himself out of bed, took care of his business, and struggled to get back in the bed without completely losing his balance. This time, Tony didn’t even bother trying to get comfortable. He was exhausted enough that he fell asleep straight away.

It was three o’ clock by the time Tony woke up, and he sighed. He hadn’t slept in that much in a long time, not even with his coma-like naps after a workshop binge. Luckily he had an excuse. 

“Where’s James?” he asked JARVIS, after half heartedly putting together an outfit that made him look more like a hobo than anything.

“He’s in the kitchen preparing a snack.”   
  
Great. Tony was hungry, and judging by the soft kicks that he knew would get old fast, the baby was too. 

James turned, holding a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, when Tony entered. “Oh, there you are. I was starting to wonder if you were stuck in bed or something.”   
  
“Very funny,” Tony said, taking the sandwich from James as retribution. “This is mine now.”   
  
James sighed, clearly deciding not to argue, and started making another sandwich.

Tony wondered whether he should bring up the baby or Steve first. Obviously, James would want to know the baby was kicking, even if he couldn’t feel it yet, but Steve was James’ best friend and that took precedence, didn’t it? Yeah, that made sense. James would understand, hopefully. “Have you talked to Steve today?”   
  
James frowned, taking a bite of his sandwich. “Y’know, I don’t think I‘ve seen him today. Why, is there something wrong?”

“I’m–worried about him,” Tony admitted, playing with a loose string on the hem of his sleeve. “I think he’s a little bit jealous of you.”

James blinked. “Jealous? Of  _ me _ ?”   
  
Tony nodded earnestly. “Yeah, just–talk to him about it, please? I tried but I don’t think it worked. Maybe it’ll be better coming from you.”   
  
“Yeah, sure, definitely. I didn’t even realize Steve was–” James shook his head, “–I noticed he was quieter than I remembered, but I couldn’t tell if that was just in my memories or what.”

“No, he’s been acting weird since you came.”   
  
“Since I came, huh?” James said. “Don’t worry, I’ll talk to him. He’s not–angry with me, is he?”   
  
“He just seemed sad,” Tony said.

James shoved the rest of his sandwich into his mouth, like a heathen, and said after swallowing, “Mm. Yeah, okay, I’ll talk t’ him right now. JARVIS, where is he?”

“He is currently in his room, Sergeant Barnes.”   


“Great, he’s sulking,” James said, putting his hands in his pockets and heading out of the kitchen. “Bye, Tony. I’ll tell ya how it goes.”

Tony nodded in response and decided to spend some time in his workshop–not doing anything physical, thank you very much Steve and Pepper–developing some new schematics and designs. Thanks to his pregnancy Tony had nothing better to do than to keep updating both his and Rhodey’s armors (and working on the company), and currently Tony was working on transforming them into nanotechnology.

But before he could leave, an orange circle opened up in the kitchen and Stephen Strange stepped out. Tony jumped and nearly fell over in shock, but the cloak lurched forward off of Stephen’s shoulders to catch him. God, he loved that thing, even if it was– _ magic _ . “Oh my god,” Tony snapped, clutching onto the cloak. “Would you stop that? One of these days you’re going to walk in on someone in a compromising position.”

“I can tell when I’m not wanted,” Stephen said.

“I don’t want you here right  _ now _ .”   
  
Stephen leveled a bland look at Tony. “But do you really?”

Tony hated him. “You are literally the worst. What do you want?”

Stephen gestured in the general direction of Tony’s stomach, which was especially noticeable currently because of his tight shirt. It almost didn’t fit anymore, to Tony’s annoyance, and he wasn’t that into maternity clothing seeing as how they were for women–which, nothing wrong with that, obviously, they just weren’t his style. “I heard about your condition on the news.”

“Yeah, you and everybody else.” 

“I’m assuming it’s a magic-related reason,” Stephen continued, as if Tony hadn’t spoken, “because I don’t think even you would get yourself pregnant for science.”

Tony made a face. Sure, he had done a lot of dumb things. As a scientist, it was unavoidable, but getting himself pregnant was not something he had been planning on doing any time soon. “Yeah, no, it was some alien.” Was it bad that Tony’s life had gotten to the point he could say that with a straight face and have _no one_ _doubt his sanity_?  
  
“Why didn’t you come to me as soon as it happened?” Stephen asked. “I would have liked to take a look at you and see if it was anything malicious before you got attached.”

“I’m...pretty sure it’s not, but I trust you more than some random ass alien,” Tony said, which was saying a lot, because he didn’t trust Stephen–or, rather, his magic.

His heart lurched at the thought of there being something wrong with his baby boy that he so dearly loved. Tony pushed through it, though. “And we tried, but apparently you were off in some other dimension for some reason and then I just kind of forgot to mention it.”

Stephen sighed. “Tony, there’s probably nothing wrong. Wanda, at least, should have been able to tell if there was. It’s more for my peace of mind, if anything.”

Tony waggled his eyebrows. “Why, Stephen, are you actually admitting that you care about me?”   
  
“Never,” Stephen said, which was. Wow. That was weak as hell. He sighed and lifted his hands, hovering them over Tony’s stomach. “May I?”

“Go wild,” Tony said, swallowing back his fear. Or maybe that was just the vomit threatening to come up, and this time Tony was certain it wasn’t just morning sickness.

Stephen’s hands began glowing orange, and he gently placed them on Tony’s stomach. There were a few seconds of silence, then he withdrew them. “As I said, there isn’t anything.”   
  
Tony let out the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “So he’s fine? Nothing’s wrong?”   
  
“What did I just say?”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Good,” he said. “Now get out of here and never speak to me again. You actually scared me with that.”   
  
Stephen summoned a portal. “I’m going, I’m going.” He stepped in partially, and turned back to Tony. “And Tony,” he started, voice softer than Tony had ever heard it, “congratulations.”

“Yeah, thanks.” Tony waved at the cloak, which lifted one of its corners back at him.

Once Stephen was gone, Tony finally headed to his workshop like he had been planning on, where he pulled up schematics for his new armor. Out of a fit of curiosity, he also looked himself up. Pepper had released a statement the day before, confirming that yes, Tony Stark was in fact pregnant due to magical shenanigans (not her words), and that although it had very clearly not been planned he was excited about the baby.

The majority of articles seemed to believe him, largely because they acknowledged that, by far, it was not the strangest thing to happen in the world or even to Tony Stark. Some people were already making jokes and memes about it, which Tony was not particularly surprised by. 

There was not as much of a backlash as Tony had expected, however. After checking, he did see that SI’s stock had gone down slightly, but nothing that couldn’t be fixed with the release of a new Starkphone. Most of the outcry came from obscure conservative groups angry about him challenging traditional gender roles by daring to get pregnant.

Well, it wasn’t as though Tony had set out planning on any of this, but pissing them off was a bonus. 

Once Tony felt as though he had seen enough, he went back to working on the armor. The majority of the particles could be stored in the exposed part of the arc reactor, he had figured. The problem was that there would be a limited amount. Sure, they were less than one hundred nanometers, but that would add up eventually. One solution he had considered was having more nanoparticles masquerading as clothes, because why not? He’d pretty much always be prepared then.

Call him crazy and paranoid, but with his line of work Tony had learned to be as prepared as possible for anything going wrong. He had just been attacked and taken hostage–as short as it lasted–after all.

He had gotten so absorbed in his work that he didn’t even notice James coming in, carrying a tray laden with food.

“Hey,” James said, leaning his hip against the worktable and making Tony jump. “You should probably eat something.” He gestured to the tray. “Though, I wasn’t sure what you might want so I just brought a bunch o’ stuff.”   
  
“Oh,” Tony said, setting down his tablet pen, “thanks.” He reached for an apple slice. “How’d your talk with Steve go?”   
  
James let out a sigh, avoiding eye contact. “I mean, I got him to spill what his problem was. Jus’ don’t know if it can be fixed. But he’s willin’ to accept it for what it is now that he’s done pouting.”   
  
“What is it? I know he’s jealous because you spend time with me. What else is there?”

“He asked me not to tell you,” James said, looking apologetic. 

“Why?”

James stared at him blankly for a few long seconds. “Tony, if you can’t figure it out then I’m not going to be the one to tell you.”

“Fine,” Tony said, taking another apple slice. “I’ll just force it out of him myself.”   
  
“Alright, you do that.” Tony chose to interpret his tone as support and not James humoring him. “Hey, you wanna get up or something? You’ve been sitting there for two hours, I think.”   
  
“Two and a half,” JARVIS corrected.

Tony thought about it. He wasn’t that invested in what he was doing right now. Well, he was, but since he was mostly working on theory and couldn’t actually see how things worked out in a practical situation it wasn’t as though it was a pressing concern  _ at the moment _ . “Yeah, sure.” He pushed himself up, ignoring James’ offered hand, and grunted, pressing a hand to the small of his back and the other to his stomach. “Ooh. Your son seems to already be considering gymnastics as his future.”

“What are you talking about?” James asked.

Oh, right. Tony hadn’t told him yet. “He started kicking.”   
  
James’ eyes went wide. “What? Oh my god, he’s kicking?” He quickly pressed a hand against his Tony’s bump. Apparently, he was so excited that he forgot to ask permission to touch it. Not that Tony really minded, but James insisted every time. He kind of appreciated it, actually, since it made him feel more like a human and less like some sort of–incubator? Some of the other Avengers (Clint) hadn’t seemed to get the memo yet. “Oh, I don’t feel anything,” James said after a moment.

Tony winced. “I...don’t think you can feel it from the outside yet. I definitely don’t.”

James didn’t look disappointed, though, eyes still shiny and wide with awe. “That doesn’t matter. He’s alive in there. And you can feel it. That’s amazing.”

Tony simply smiled, not sure what else to say.

“Okay, come on,” James said, guiding him out of the workshop after picking up the tray again. As they walked through the halls, he added, “We also–we need to talk about the nursery.”   
  
Tony blinked. That was true. “Oh, right. I was just going to have him sleep in my room for a while, but that was before you came.”   
  
“But I don’t want you to be the only one waking up when he cries, you know. It seems–wrong of me to let that happen when I can help.”

“I don’t mind. I barely sleep anyway,” Tony said, then added, “normally. When I’m not pregnant.”

“Yeah, but I  _ want  _ to.” James’ blue eyes were wide and open.

Tony pressed a finger against his mouth in thought. “I mean, the only options we have then are for the baby to be in a nursery near our rooms or for both of us to sleep–in the same room.” The implication didn’t hit Tony until he already said it, and he couldn’t quite stop the blush.   
  
James, fortunately, didn’t seem to notice, or was just ignoring it. “I’m fine with sleeping in your room. Really,” he said at Tony’s doubtful look. “I mean, it might be a little weird but we kinda have to get used to it anyway, right? Since we’re goin’ to be parents and all.”

“I–I guess we can, I’m fine with it too,” Tony said blankly, mind just completely–shut down. He honestly wasn’t even sure what was going on anymore.

James grinned, big and wide. He’d been doing that a lot more since he moved into the compound. “Okay, great. So, you bought a crib or something, or…?”   
  
It took Tony a few seconds to realize what James was asking, still stuck on the fact that he’d be sleeping in the same bed as James–which was honestly dumb. He was a superhero. Why the hell was he so stuck on the fact that some guy would be sleeping his bed? Tons of guys have slept in his bed. God, he was acting like some schoolkid with their first crush. “Oh, I chose one, I haven’t bought it yet. I thought–maybe you would like to help with the decision?”

“Yeah, sure,” James said. They arrived in the common room, where Wanda and Pietro were teaching Vision some card game. “Oh, great. Should we leave?” 

“No, it’s fine,” Vision and Wanda said at the same time.

“I wasn’t asking you guys,” James said, turning to look at Tony.

Tony shook his head.

“We need to talk about names. Did you have any ideas already?” James said lowly.

“I heard Pietro was a good choice,” Pietro called out.

“No,” Tony said immediately, having expected this already from at least half of the team. “And I’m not doing Peter, either, no matter how many times either of you ask. Go back to your game.” He turned back to James, and admitted, “I...was gonna do James. Again, before you came. I don’t know if you’re the type of guy to give your kid the same name.”   
  
“God, no.” James’ voice was adamant, and maybe he slammed the tray down on the counter with bit more force than necessary. Nothing spilled, luckily. “Not sure why people do that in the first place. I mean, I’m not going to judge, but it’s not my thing.” 

Tony couldn’t help but get amused. Upon seeing Tony’s smile, James rolled his eyes, and continued, “Look, I was named after one of the most obscure presidents there is, and to this day I have no idea what went through my parents’ heads, since he wasn’t even that great of a guy. And what kind of name is James, anyway? It’s so–stuffy and proper and shit. You think of, like, British royalty with that name, not some creepy one-armed former assassin.”   
  
Tony’s smile only grew as the rant continued, then he realized what James–Bucky?–had said. “Wait, does it bother you when I call you James then?”   
  
“No, it doesn’t, I told you already that I don’t mind.”

“Right, okay,” Tony said, choosing to give James the benefit of the doubt. He grabbed a chicken sandwich from the tray and bit into it. He really was hungry. “Well, we’ve gotten nowhere closer with the names.”   
  
James sent Wanda, Pietro, and Vision, who were clearly listening in, a dirty look. They quickly went back to their card game. “I mean, we eliminated the possibility of naming this kid after me, right? Though, you have any other ideas?”

“Uh…” Tony took another bite of the sandwich to muffle his voice as he responded.

“What–what was that?”

Tony looked desperately at their witnesses. James followed his gaze and sighed. “Okay, all of you, get out.”

“ _ You  _ get out,” Wanda said, glaring at the two of them, although Vision was already collecting the cards. “Dammit, Viz!”   
  
“We’re not going to get anything done if we stay here, and I want to learn how to play this,” Vision protested.

James waited until the three of them had left the room before prompting Tony again. “Seriously, what were you saying before?”

Tony could feel his cheeks heating up again. God, this was probably the most mortifying thing he’d been through in a while. “Just–some ideas I had were after Arthurian legends,” he mumbled. It was the first time he had ever brought up how important those stories were to him to anyone. It was just–Jarvis, the human one, had introduced them to him as a kid and the concept of armored heroes had stuck with him.   
  
“Like–like knights of the Round Table, that kind of stuff?” James’ voice was slightly incredulous. “I didn’t know you were into that.”   
  
“It’s–not something I advertise to people,” Tony said. Now his entire face, as well as his neck and ears, were hot. He stared down at his feet, or, well, what he could see of them. “I got–the idea of Iron Man from them.”   
  
“So it’s clearly important to you,” James said softly. “I mean, as long as you don’t want to name our kid, like, fucking Lancelot or something I don’t see why not.”   
  
“No!” Tony cried in horror, looking straight up at James for the first time since he admitted his idea. “No, I’m not–one of  _ those _ celebrities. Just, like, inspired by. Maybe. It was just something I considered, it’s not even my first choice.”

James raised his eyebrows. “I’ve never seen you this flustered.”   
  
“Shut up!” Tony said, averting his gaze once again. “I’m–I’m not  _ that _ into it, okay? It was a dumb idea I had at like two in the morning.”   
  
James burst into laughter, loud and hearty. Tony hadn’t even known he could laugh like that. “Sure, Tony. God, you’re adorable. How long have you been a medieval nerd?”   
  
The heat that had slowly been dissipating came back in full force. Tony let out a shriek and covered his blushing face. “Stop it! It’s nothing, okay, it’s nothing!”   
  
“Definitely doesn’t look like nothing, nerd,” James said teasingly.

Tony let out a hysterical laugh that may have been suspiciously close to a sob. He had no idea what his emotions were doing right now, except for the fact that he was completely horrified.

“Okay, okay, I’m sorry,” James said with laughter in his voice, gently wrapping his arms around Tony. “I’ll stop teasing you now, okay?”

“G-good,” Tony said, pulling down his hands and trying to regain his bluster. He sniffed and lifted his chin, staring straight at James and pretending he hadn’t just nearly had a meltdown. “So, we should probably finish the food.”

* * *

Later that day, Steve called them in for a meeting. Why he decided to do that after spending all day locked up in his room, Tony did not know.

“Why are we here?” Tony asked as he walked into the conference room. Steve was seated at the head of one of the tables, with Natasha at his left. James was right behind Tony. Tony took the seat on Steve’s other side, and James the seat next to him.

There was no reaction from Steve when Tony sat down. His posture was rigid, and his jaw clenched. He looked every bit the calculating team captain Tony often forgot he was, too used to Actual Human Disaster™ Steve Rogers.

And whatever his problem was, he was either dealing with it, or bottling it up. Tony was inclined to think the latter, despite what James had said.   
  
Natasha shrugged, pursing her lips. “No idea.”   
  
Tony narrowed his eyes at her. “You always have an idea.”

Steve sighed. “It’s–it’s nothing official, I just want to get an idea of what HYDRA wants with you and what to do from there.”   
  
“Oh. Are the other Avengers coming?” Tony asked, looking around the room. It didn’t seem as though anyone else was.

Steve waved a hand. “I’ll debrief them later. I just wanted you guys specifically since you’re the most involved in what happened. Besides, Thor’s been missing for, like, a month.”   
  
“You don’t know why he left either? I thought you knew. You’re the leader,” Tony said.

“Yeah, I’m the leader on paper, but no one actually cares about my input,” Steve deadpanned.

From the corner of Tony’s eye, he saw Natasha smirk. “That’s true,” Tony said slowly. They only really listened to Steve on the field, and even that was questionable at times. Steve, for his part, seemed to have given up on corralling everyone.

“So, now that we’ve gotten that out of the way–HYDRA. Tony, do you have  _ any  _ idea where they could have learned that you’re pregnant? Anything at all?”

Tony had given it a bit of thought since that day. “It had to be someone at the hospital,” he said. “We had everyone that may possibly be involved sign an NDA, but obviously HYDRA wouldn’t care about that. I had JARVIS run another background check on everyone that signed, but we haven’t found anything damning.”

“It doesn’t necessarily have to be someone that signed it,” Natasha spoke up. 

“Why would there be a HYDRA agent at a hospital anyway?” Steve asked. “To be undercover? For what?”   
  
“It’s a pretty well-known hospital,” Natasha said. “We’ve been there before, after battles. But then that brings up the question of what they would be doing in a maternity ward, because unless they happened to be a receptionist or something I don’t see how they could have found out.”

“They could have joined after Tony started using it,” James said. “If they noticed that he was going there regularly…”  

“Still, they would have to get the information from somewhere. So either someone told them, or…” An idea popped into Tony’s head. “They could have accessed the hospital’s medical records, possibly.”

The other three were nodding along with what Tony said. “It’s the most likely possibility,” Natasha said. “Get a job there, get free access to medical records. Even if they weren’t allowed, they could still have hacked it.”

“JARVIS, check the hospital’s mainframe for anything suspicious,” Tony said. He’d have to convince the tech department to switch to Stark security systems. If there was a bug in their systems, hopefully they’d take that as enough evidence to make the change. Guilt stirred in the pit of his stomach. He should have suggested it earlier on, even if there was nothing. Now, possibly, all the patients in the hospital were at risk. 

“Yes, Sir.”

“And, Tony,” Steve took a deep breath, “You know how HYDRA is. They won’t stop until they get you.”   
  
“Yeah…” Tony said, furrowing his brow. Of course he did. 

“I think you should relocate. Just, until this dies down. Go to the tower, or Malibu, or something.”

Tony was already shaking his head before Steve was even done speaking. “No, I’m not going to do that, Cap. I don’t see the point. Say they find out that I moved? They’ll just try and get me from there. Besides, I think I’ll be safer in the place with all the Avengers.”

“You sure Tony?” James asked. Tony whipped his head around to face him. “Steve has a point. I have no doubt that HYDRA will try and get you from the compound at some point. They were pretty out in the open with that stunt at the mall.”   
  
“I refuse to let you gang up on me. I’m staying here, and that’s final.”

“I agree with Tony,” Natasha said. 

“Ha!” Tony pointed at Steve triumphantly, to which Steve gave him a dirty look.

“He’ll be safer here with us,” Natasha continued, ignoring the two of them. She held up a hand when both Steve and James opened their mouths. “No, even if one of you stays with him. They could easily outnumber you and take Tony. It’s better for him to stay with us right now.”   
  
“Well, then we’ll all relocate,” Steve said immediately. “We can go back to Avengers Tower. Our floors are still empty, right?”

Tony, realizing that he was about to lose this argument, thought desperately for another point. “Will–will everyone agree to that?”

“I’ll agree to it,” Natasha said lightly. Tony frowned at her betrayal.

Steve shrugged.  “The others might complain, but I’m sure they’ll agree since it’s for the sake of a teammate. Besides, it’s not as though it’s exactly a loss to move back into the tower.”

James was nodding. “It’s for the best, Tony.”  
  
Tony rolled his eyes. Truthfully, it wasn’t the moving part that bothered him. He just didn’t want to have to be kept hidden somewhere in case HYDRA went for him. Yeah, he was more careful with his safety now that he had someone else to worry about, but he did not want to be locked in some tower alone like–like Rapunzel. But if the other Avengers came along, he supposed it wouldn’t be _that_ bad. He looked down at the table as he gritted out, “Fine.”

A smile, wide and bright, developed on Steve’s face. Tony did not miss the fact that it was probably the first time in weeks he had genuinely smiled like that. “Thank you, Tony. I know you don’t like it, it’s not something I want to do either, but I just want to keep you–and the baby–safe.”

“We  _ all  _ do,” James corrected, giving Steve a look. Steve gave him a look back feigning innocence. Tony watched this exchange in confusion.

“Right…” Tony planted his hands on the table and used the leverage to push himself up. “Well, is that all?”

“I guess, yeah, unless any of you have something else you want to say,” Steve said, rubbing his arm.

Both Natasha and James shook their head. “Well, actually, I wanted to talk to you,” Tony said. He pointed a finger at Steve.” And don’t try and say you didn’t expect this. After what you left me with last night–” Natasha’s eyebrows went up. Whoops, “–you should one hundred percent know this conversation isn’t done.”   
  
Tony was expecting Steve to argue, but surprisingly he sighed and looked down in acquesience. “Yeah, I know. The rest of you can leave.”   
  
“You’d better not be doing anything inappropriate,” Natasha said as she left the room with James. “I don’t want to come back and find the room a mess.”

Tony rolled his eyes. Natasha could talk but for once she didn’t actually know what was going on so she would never bring this up to anyone else. And James, well, he had already demonstrated his unwillingness to say anything.

He turned back to Steve, who was still seated and staring at Tony with determination in his face. Tony was undecided on whether or not that was a good thing. It meant Steve wouldn’t hide from the confrontation, but it also meant he was going to stubbornly ignore whatever was troubling him. He took a seat as well.

“Look, Tony,” Steve started. “What I was upset about, I thought about it all night and also talked with Bucky. I’m over it now.”   
  
So, a bad thing. “Are you really?” Tony asked dubiously. “Or are you just bottling up your feelings and hoping they’ll go away on their own?” God, he wasn’t good at this touchy-feely stuff. Although, after Afghanistan, he did try to open up more about his emotions and shit, he still only tended to do it after struggling for a bit alone, and here he was hypocritically accusing Steve of doing the exact same thing he did. 

Steve rubbed the back of his neck. “What do you want me to say? I’m trying to deal with it, I really am, but it’s going to take time.”   
  
“So the latter,” Tony said. “James won’t tell me what’s going on. Apparently, he won’t say anything if I can’t figure it out on my own. I mean, I know a little bit. I just don’t understand. Why would you be jealous of James and not me? You love James.”

There was a steely look in Steve’s eyes. “Yeah, but I’m not in love with him.”   
  
Huh? Why would that distinction matte–oh.  _ Oh. _ “Oh my God.”

Now that Steve had admitted it, he looked a lot less determined and more like he was about to throw up. Tony felt the same, though that was par for the course with his current state. How long had Steve been dealing with– _ this _ ? Had Tony unintentionally hurt him in some way? “Steve, don’t freak out,” he said before anything else, because it would be just like Steve to drop this bombshell and then hide. (Though, a traitorous part of him admitted he would have done the same.) “I’m not upset, or anything. Just...surprised.”

“Really?” Steve asked with a snide tone. “I really haven’t been subtle at all, or, at least, that’s what the Avengers tell me.”

“No, I swear, Steve, this is the first I’ve heard of this.”

“Huh,” Steve said. “I assumed you at least had an idea and were just ignoring it.”   
  
“Nope,” Tony said, popping the ‘p’. “I–well, I don’t really know what to say.”

“It’s okay,” Steve said. He seemed to be fighting back tears, but he still smiled weakly. “I know you love Bucky.”   
  
“I–I don’t,” Tony said truthfully. “I mean, he’s nice, and I like him, and yeah, there is potential, but I don’t, like,  _ love  _ him, you know?” No, Steve didn’t know, he literally just said that. Nice, Tony. “I told you this already.”

“But you said ‘maybe’.”   
  
“I could love you, too,” Tony said desperately. “I  _ do  _ love you. You’re one of my closest friends.”   
  
“Don’t force yourself to do that, Tony,” Steve said with wide eyes. “That’s–no. That’s not healthy. Not that I’m the poster boy for healthy relationships or anything, but that’s not going to fix anything.”

Tony stretched his hand over the table, hoping Steve would take it but not really expecting it. Surprisingly enough, he did. “But I don’t want to be the reason you’re sad.”

“It’s fine, Tony, really. I’m just happy that you’re happy. Remember what I said, all those months ago?”   
  
Tony had to admit he didn’t. 

“That you don’t need to suffer. And, well, I do think you’re a bit happier now than you were back then.”

Right, Tony remembered now. It had been right after Riyaa had put the spell on him and disappeared. “Okay,” he said, exhaling. “Okay. I get it. I’m so sorry you feel this way, especially when I don’t...return those feelings. But I do love you, Steve.” That was a lot easier to admit than it would have been, hell, even just a month ago. He stood up and walked right over to Steve’s side, who watched him warily. 

Tony debated on whether he should do this, if it was cruel and make Steve think Tony was just playing with him. But, he had made it clear he still cared about Steve, didn’t he? Eventually, he leaned down and brushed a kiss over Steve’s cheek. “I wish I could do something to fix this,” he said quietly.

“You already kind of have,” Steve said, just as quietly.

* * *

Tony was, once again, back in bed thinking about his conversation with Steve. Go figure. He knew there was nothing he could actually do about this, and that rankled with him, because it was in Tony’s nature to fix things. But, like Steve said, this just needed time.

And how long had Steve been in love with Tony? Tony had forgotten to ask at the time, but now he was curious. Apparently, Steve had done a bad job of hiding it, which Tony refused to admit, obviously Steve was just exaggerating. But he had always simply acted like a close friend, going out on friendly lunch dates with Tony, calling him ‘Shellhead’ and Tony returning it with ‘Winghead’, always trying to make meals for Tony but failing which Tony never minded because it was just Steve showing he cared, that he loved. Tony, in return, loved to make him little trinkets out of scrap metal just because he could.

The realization, for as sudden as it was, was not actually shocking. Rather, it felt like a blindfold had been removed from his eyes, and he could suddenly see the truth that had been in front of him all this time. All those times he felt affection for Steve, believing whatever feelings he had for him were platonic, were actually Tony’s subconscious telling him one thing: He was irrevocably in love with Steve Rogers. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy. This was a heavy chapter. I was torn between Steve admitting his feelings for Tony in this chapter and waiting until later, but I didn’t see a reason why Steve would continue to hide it, so here it is. And yes, Tony does love both Bucky and Steve. Well, his feelings for James are developing, but Tony has always been in love with Steve (and vice versa), he was just too emotionally repressed to realize that it was romantic love, not platonic. Steve himself only figured it out in chapter three, I think.
> 
> Tony’s passion for Arthurian legend is a canonical thing, I didn’t just pull that out of my ass. He can also wield Excalibur, so, there’s that.
> 
> Tony and Bucky trying to think of names is my way of saying I have no idea what to name the baby. Any suggestions? 
> 
> And yes, endgame is Stuckony.
> 
> As always, this isn't revisioned. I should probably do that but I get too excited by the fact that I actually finished a chapter so I post it right away. If there are any mistakes, please tell me.


	8. Month Six

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently, I misjudged the amount of time I thought I would have to myself while traveling, which sounds dumb, but usually I do have a few hours of downtime everyday while traveling. But the past few days I really did not, so this ended up coming out a lot later than I intended. Sorry about that.
> 
> This is the first time I’ve written Shuri and kind of T’challa. They don’t really appear a whole lot, but I’m hoping their characters are accurate.

Tony wished he could say things improved over the weeks leading into his sixth month of pregnancy, but they really didn’t. Steve and Tony forced themselves to interact with each other, and outwardly it seemed as though nothing had changed between them.

But everything was different. Steve was in love with Tony, and Tony had rejected him, only to realize that he loved Steve, too, because he was an emotionally repressed idiot who couldn’t tell the difference between platonic and romantic attachment before it was too late. What the fuck kind of sick joke was that? Of course, the logical, adult thing would be to admit his feelings, and Tony knew he’d do it eventually, but he was fearful that Steve might take it as Tony trying to force himself into making Steve happy–as Steve had mentioned previously–no matter how many times Tony would reassure him.

God, the guilt he felt. He had rejected Steve, crushed his hopes. He was worried that rescinding his previous answer wouldn’t change anything.

They got along, sure, they talked and laughed, but there was always that crushing feeling in the back of Tony’s mind reminding him of what he’d done to Steve.

And he had James to think about. Tony had a crush on him, or _something_ , at least. For all he knew, it was just lust brought on from hormones. But it was still something, and they were having a child together–even if it was not the passionate, deep love he felt for Steve. Tony couldn’t sabotage their fragile relationship.

So, now Steve was depressed because he was in love with Tony who he thought didn’t love him back, while Tony also happened to have a crush on Steve’s best friend, who Tony was having a child with.

Jesus, it was like they lived in some trashy romantic drama. Tony’s brain hurt just thinking that.

And all of this could potentially be fixed if Tony took the time to admit to everything.

Tony hated himself.

Look, he’d talk with James and Steve eventually. It was unavoidable. Tony knew they all needed to sit down and have a long discussion about the mess that was their relationship. And it would happen–just, not right away. Tony still needed time to figure things out for himself. He had only just realized his own feelings for Steve, after all.

But in the meantime, Tony couldn’t help but feel the guilt sitting heavily in his chest, especially since he knew the longer he took the less likely he was able to fix everything.

The only thing that brightened Tony’s day right now was Baby (for lack of an actual name). He had grown so much in five short weeks–and, well, he wasn’t the only thing that had grown. Tony’s stomach seemed to have exploded (not literally, of course) once he hit six months, and now it looked as though Tony was permanently hiding a watermelon under his shirt for whatever reason. Even considering the fact that he was male, it was undeniable to anyone that he was pregnant.

Hell, even his chest seemed to be getting larger, which was quite frankly horrifying.

Okay, it wasn’t so big that anyone would notice unless they were actually looking for it, but there was enough of a change to freak Tony out. According to his doctor it implied he could produce milk? That was not what Tony had planned on doing, like, ever, in his entire life, but whatever. At least it would be beneficial to Baby. (He really needed to come up with a name.)

And then, of course, he was also dealing with HYDRA apparently being after him. This was...nothing particularly new to him, but obviously it was different now that he had someone else to look out for. JARVIS had come back to him not too long after the meeting Steve had called (and his talk with Steve) and confirmed that there was a bug placed in the hospital’s systems, and he had traced it back to someone who was a particularly apt technician within HYDRA as well as someone the Avengers had been after for a while.

So, great. Tony knew he had been taking a gamble with getting a doctor who worked in a hospital setting, and going out every few weeks to see her. He had at least fixed that last part by going with Natasha each time, and once he was showing Dr. Nkosi had promised that she would drive out to the compound to see him. Tony had hated that she needed to do that, but the doctor had merely smiled and said, “Tony, you helped me after SHIELD fell. Driving for a few hours is the least I can do to repay you.”

Tony hadn’t even wanted to get a doctor initially, but everyone else had protested at that, citing the fact that a) being a male, his body was obviously not made for pregnancy (though Clint had made some bizarre joke about his ‘child-bearing hips?’ What the fuck, Clint), b) he was on the older side of getting pregnant, c) there could be problems as a result of his medical history and issues, and d), just because some magical space-lady said that there would be no problems did not mean she was telling the truth, or knew what she was talking about.

Which was...fair and all. Tony could admit that those were valid points, especially the last one. Which was partially why he’d eventually agreed, but once he found Dr. Nkosi, who had been part of SHIELD and therefore accustomed to strange things like Tony’s situation, he had been insistent on having her over anyone else. She wasn’t the only one, but one had turned out to be part of HYDRA, because apparently even they needed an OB/GYN, and the rest had relocated.

It hadn’t been...bad. Tony liked his doctor, liked her sense of humor, and she had a way of calming his worries about the pregnancy. But now he was wondering if it was worth all this stress and guilt, because he’d had to deal with the hospital’s tech department and telling them they’d been hacked, and now currently the hospital was freaking out about the fact that every single one of their patient’s records could have been accessed.

The Avengers had also just moved back into Stark Tower, since they decided to wait a few weeks in case Thor showed up, which he never did. Tony had been a bit surprised when they all agreed right away, but apparently they had been getting tired of long drives into the city, which was fair enough.

When Peter had found out, he had been excited, babbling on about how he “could visit everyday now.” Tony was looking forward to it as well, since he hadn’t seen Peter in months. They talked on the phone, sure, but it wasn’t the same as seeing each other face to face. Although, he had a feeling that he might get tired dealing with Peter’s energy and exuberance constantly, considering he was always tired now.

Peter’s eyes popped open once he entered the workshop and saw Tony. “Wow, Mr. Stark! You’re huge!” There was a pause, and Peter blanched. “I–I mean, sorry, that’s not what I meant to say, oh my God, you haven’t changed at all, you look exactly the same–”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Tony said, more amused than anything. But he couldn’t help but tease Peter a little bit. Sue him, the kid made it easy. “I think I’m more offended by you saying that I’ve always been like this.”

“Oh, shit–I swear, I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just–oh, God, I’m so sorry, you–you look good.”

“Peter.”

Peter finally shut his mouth, and then immediately opened it again. Tony despaired. “I just mean, I knew you were, uh, you were having a baby, but it’s still kind of weird to, like, _really_ see it, you know?”

“I get it,” Tony said, shrugging. He was self-aware enough to admit that he did look bizarre. “And I’m just teasing you. I know I look like a whale.”

Peter stared at him. “But, like, in all those movies and shows, don’t they always get upset when someone calls them fa–”

“I mean, I’m not going to encourage you to call me that,” Tony said, deciding to actually get working on the upgrades for the Spider-Man suit like he planned, and pulled up its specs. “I just don’t mind when it’s coming from you ‘cause I know you don’t mean it. If it had been anyone else I probably would have ripped their eyes out.”

Even without facing Peter, Tony could tell he had just paled in horror. “Let’s just, uh, start working, why don’t we?”

Tony, already doing just that, agreed.

Peter filled the silence with aimless chatter, as he did every single time he visited Tony. Tony was used to it by this point, and let the words wash over him as he worked on making Peter as safe as possible. Every so often Peter would ask Tony a question about his homework, and Tony would help him.

It was calming and soothing, in a way. Tony realized he hadn’t gotten a chance to relax in months, which was rare anyway–hello, he was Tony Stark–but come on, he was pregnant. Surely that was an excuse.

Plus, he’d been stressed over what’s been going on with Steve, and to a lesser extent, James. But for the first time in a while, Tony was able to let that worry wash away, at least for a while. 

He smiled and brushed a hand over his stomach, right over the spot where Baby was kicking. He could feel it from the outside now. “Hey, Pete, you wanna feel the baby?” he asked.

Peter looked up from his physics homework. “Huh?”

“He’s kicking. Wanna feel?”

Peter’s eyes went comically wide. “You can feel that? I mean, of–of course you can.” He stood up and came closer to Tony, stretching his hand out. Tony guided it to where the baby was still practicing for football (he had largely been raised by Europeans, so he absolutely refused to call it soccer). Upon feeling the little foot pressing against his hand, Peter’s eyes once again popped open. “Wow. That’s, uh. Wow. He’s really alive in there, huh?”

“A little too much, I’d say,” Tony moaned. “It’s like he doesn’t know the concept of sleep.”

Peter raised an eyebrow at him. “Gee, I wonder where he gets that from.”

Tony’s mouth dropped open in–actual shock, okay, he had no idea that Peter could be that sarcastic. When did he learn that? Then again, Peter hung around Tony regularly. Maybe he should curb the sarcasm. “I will not take this slander,” he gasped. “In my own home, betrayed by my kin, my own flesh and blood.”  
  
“You had it coming, Mr. Stark.” Then he went back to his homework, like he hadn’t just blown Tony’s entire world. A few more seconds went by, before Peter asked, “When I’m done can you help me cook something?” Tony blinked at the non sequitur. Hadn’t May been teaching Peter? But then, with her skills...Okay, Peter asking him made a little sense. “Sure, yeah. What brought this on?”   
  
Peter stuck out his tongue a little in concentration as he worked on what seemed to be a particularly difficult problem. Tony thought of all the times Rhodey and Pepper had pointed out him doing the same. “It’s May’s birthday soon, and I want to make her dinner. She’s Italian, so I thought, maybe lasagna? I mean, I just need this for practice, I’ll make it again later.”

Tony lived and breathed lasagna. He was so proud of this kid’s choices, even if it was a bit surprising, because it wasn’t necessarily a beginner’s dish. “Sure, sure, we can do that. Lasagna can take a long time to make, though, so you better hurry with your work.”

Peter saluted. “Sir, yes, sir.”

Tony continued to work on the upgrades while Peter finished up with his homework. Finally, the kid slammed down his notebook and shouted, “Yeet!”

“What?” Tony said.

Peter blinked up at Tony innocently. “Nothing, just, I’m done.”

“Okay,” Tony said slowly, figuring this was one of those inexplicable Gen Z things. “Well, come on.” He led Peter toward the kitchen, and then, with a slight tinge to his cheeks, sank down in a chair. Even short distances were getting difficult for him, which was embarrassing no matter how much the team–besides Clint–reassured him.

“Do, do you need anything, Mr. Stark?” Peter asked worriedly, hovering close to his chair. “Don’t you need to put your feet up or something?”

“I’m fine, kid. Just get the noodles. They’re in the pantry on the...third shelf, I think.”

“You’re really good at cooking,” Peter said while he was collecting the ingredients. “I remember from when I stayed at the compound.”

“Well, that’s debatable,” Tony said, watching him. “Do you want to make the sauce from scratch or just use canned?” The Italian in Tony meant his first instinct was to rage at the thought of using processed sauces, but he reminded himself that Peter might not want to go that far yet.

Peter shrugged, looking confused. “Scratch?”  
  
Had Tony mentioned how Peter just knew to make the right choices? “Get some onions, then. You should ask Pepper about the omelet at some point,” Tony continued. “In my defense, I was distracted by the fact that I was dying, and heavy metal poisoning really messes with your mental facilities.”

“That just brought up even more questions,” Peter said. “Should I cut them?”

Tony figured he could trust Peter with a knife. He was... _pretty_ certain that it was when they were younger that they couldn’t have one. “Yeah, you can’t exactly throw in a whole onion. If you’re worried, I cured that years ago. I’m completely fine now.”

“Well, I guess if it’s fine now,” Peter said slowly. “Who taught you? How to cook, I mean?”

Tony thought about it. “A few people,” he said eventually. “My mom, my butler, and the chefs in the mansion.” A small smile grew on his face as he got lost in the memories for a moment. God, he missed his mom and Jarvis. Ana, too. He wondered what they would say if they could see him now. Probably, they’d be shocked, but supportive. Tony hoped so.

Peggy was still alive, though. He’d have to visit her in DC soon, maybe after Baby was born and, hopefully, the situation with HYDRA had died down.

He didn’t think about Dad.

“Mr. Stark?” Peter prompted, shaking Tony out of his musings.

Tony leaned over slightly to look at Peter’s knifework. “You’re doing fine.”

Peter, for all that he refused to listen to Tony when it came to Spider-Man, was good at following his directions when cooking. Tony really only needed to stand–well, sit–and watch to make sure that nothing was burning, and rarely did he need to intervene.

It was while Peter was making the sauce that Tony’s phone started ringing, and he looked at the caller ID in surprise.

“Where have you been?” he asked the moment he picked up.

 _“I’ve been searching for answers,”_ Thor said vaguely.

Tony rolled his eyes.  “You say that literally every time you fuck off into space.”

_"Well, it’s true. JARVIS told me that you all moved back to the tower?”_

“We did. Are you at the compound?”

 _“Yes.”_   
  
“Hey, stop checking it,” Tony said to Peter. “Leave it alone to simmer for a bit.”

_“...What?”_

“I was talking to someone else. Uh…” Tony took a second to remember what Thor had said. “You said you were at the compound?” Without waiting for confirmation, he continued, “Okay, so, JARVIS will drive you to the tower.”

Thor snorted. _“Can’t I just fly?”_   
  
“We’re trying to keep a low profile, so no.”   
_  
_ _“I see,”_ Thor said, though it was clear he didn’t.

Tony stood up, noticing Peter looked troubled. He grabbed the spoon from him and began stirring the bubbling sauce in the pot. “I’ll explain when you get here. Your rooms are already furnished, so only take what you need.”

_“Okay. Thanks, Tony.”_

“Who was that?” Peter asked as it ended.

“Just the love of your life,” Tony said.

“My–my what?”

Tony looked up, smirking at the kid. “Thor.”  
  
It was hilarious to watch Peter’s reaction. His face first paled, then turned completely red, and his voice became even more high-pitched than usual. “Oh my God, Mr. Stark, I’ve told you already, I don’t have a crush on him!”

“Uh huh,” Tony said in a clearly disbelieving tone. He couldn’t blame Peter. _Everyone_ had a crush on Thor. “Did you add everything I told you to?”

Peter furrowed his brow. “I–I think so? Besides the meat.”

Tony motioned for him to retrieve the meat package. “Put it in carefully,” he warned. “Otherwise it’ll get everywhere.”

Peter took the warning to heart and spent way more effort than necessary in putting in the ground meat. Once again, Tony rolled his eyes.

“Do all of you guys get together to make stuff?” Peter asked as he placed the dish in the oven later. “Or is it, like, one person a day makes the meal? Because that’s a lot of food.”

Sometimes Tony wondered where Peter got these questions from. But hey, Tony was a curious person by nature, too. “Well, it depends, I guess? We all just kind of eat at random times, and although we do try to have dinner together it doesn’t always work out, or we don’t have time to cook. But when we can, we do work together to prepare the food. Because, yeah, one person can’t make that much when you have two supersoldiers and a god living with you.” Tony let out a laugh. “I remember, actually, once Clint got the idea to recreate and film our version of Cutthroat Kitchen while he was drunk. The sad thing is, we all went along with it and did it.”

Peter’s eyes were wide and shiny. “That sounds awesome.”  
  
Tony cringed just thinking about it. “It will never see the light of day.”

* * *

“I’m back!” Thor abruptly shouted a few hours later, after Peter had gone home thanking Tony for his help. Tony startled from where he was seated on the couch working on SI stuff. Thor appeared in the doorway, looking manic and clutching a thick tome. Huh.

“What the fuck? Where have you been?” Steve demanded, throwing his sketchbook to the side and standing up.

Thor slammed the book down on the coffee table, turning to a specific page and completely ignoring Steve. Tony looked at it, and realized that he shouldn’t have bothered because he couldn’t read whatever language that was. “I remembered where I had heard about Ier before.” Was Thor _vibrating_? What, had he drunk special, Asgardian coffee or something?

Steve shared a look with Tony. There was a part of him happy that Steve could still do that, rather than completely avoiding him.

“That’s where, uh, what’s her name, Riyaa is from, right?” Steve said.

“Yes,” Thor said. “We don’t know much about her kind, because they tend to keep to themselves. What we do know is that they are similar to Asgardians, except more reliant on magic. Some people believe they descended from Celestials. But! They are not nearly close to being gods. In terms of power, they’re like us, but, again, more reliant on magic.”

Tony had no idea what a Celestial was, or why that mattered. “How are they not close to being gods if they’re as strong as you?”

Thor looked at him. Tony got the feeling that Thor, in that moment, decided that he was the biggest idiot to have ever walked the Earth. “Have you ever seen a Celestial?”

“No,” Tony said, “what is that?”

“An ancient being that holds untold cosmic power. No one really knows where they came from.”

“I kinda wanna see you fight one,” Tony said, instead of saying what he really thinking. The concept of something like that existing was terrifying, and Tony knew it would only serve to make his nightmares of whatever was coming worse. Steve nodded in agreement

Thor looked excited at the prospect. “I would win, obviously, but it would be close.”

Something told Tony that Thor was just bullshitting. Glancing at Steve’s face, it was clear he had come to the same conclusion.

“Okay, so, back to the point,” Steve said, crossing his arms. “What else did you find out?”

“I also asked the Guardians how they found her,” Thor said. His face went very serious. “Her world was attacked and ravaged by this...titan, I think. I don’t know much about him. Half of them were killed, and the remaining half that survived was too weak to continue on and died out, or they were enslaved by trafficking space gangs since they had the technology to inhibit magic. Ier is completely gone. I remember hearing about it a year or two ago, but I never made the connection until now.”

“Oh,” Tony said. That had gone in a direction he hadn’t expected it to. “That’s, uh.”  
  
“That’s sad,” Steve offered.

Thor nodded, looking grim. “It is.”

“So how are they not god-like?” Tony asked again, changing the topic because that was way too depressing and he didn’t want to start crying. “She literally changed my body parts.” Tony frowned. He was pretty sure this was the first time he had admitted it to anyone.

Thor sighed. “Tony, changing the body is not that hard to do. _I_ could do that if I learned.”

That...was actually a little terrifying to think about. “Okay, fine, maybe giving someone a vagina isn’t hard, but what about creating a baby out of thin air?” Tony said, ignoring Steve’s stunned expression and the way he mouthed, “A vagina?” He knew Steve wouldn’t intentionally hurt him, but maybe he hadn’t signed up for...whatever the hell was up with Tony when he had fallen in love with him.

Maybe it was better that way. 

“It’s not like that,” Thor said, seeming completely unsurprised. But then, it took a lot to faze him. “Not like in your Bible. She still had the necessary...ingredients?” His brow furrowed. “Wait, no. She still had the egg and the sperm–well, the DNA–and she combined them without you having to actually conceive.” He frowned at Tony. “But I assumed you would have figured that out.”

Tony threw up his hands. “How was I supposed to know there was an actual scientific basis for whatever the hell happened? For all I know, you people reproduce by saying ‘bippity boppity boo’, and poof, there’s a baby in your arms.”

“A vagina?” Steve said suddenly.

“You’re still stuck on that?” Tony snapped, frustrated and annoyed. He had been hiding what happened to him for months, worried about the reactions he would get, and going by this he had a feeling that he was right to have hidden it. “Yes, I have one. Yes, I know it’s weird. It’s not like I asked for it!”

“I have to go,” Steve said, and ran out of the room, but not before running straight into the wall.

“What the fuck,” Thor said as they watched him leave. Tony couldn’t even bring himself to be surprised at Thor cursing anymore.

“You don’t want to know,” Tony said in a long-suffering tone. He didn’t know what was going on with Steve, if this had completely changed his attitude towards Tony. Tony...admittedly didn’t want him to. He loved Steve back, after all. He’d been hoping that they work everything out one day. That wouldn’t happen if Steve decided Tony was a disgusting freak.

Tony sighed, deciding to just put that on the back burner for now. “Is that–is that all you found out about whatever the hell her name is?”

Thor turned back towards Tony. “Basically, unless you want me to actually go out and look for Riyaa?”

He sounded completely genuine. Tony grimaced. “Please don’t. I never want to see her stupid sparkly face again. Though...was finding that book really all you did? You were gone for two months or something.”

“I also had some family troubles,” Thor said.

“So, the usual?” Tony asked.

“Hey,” Thor said without any real heat.

“You can’t deny it.”

Thor sighed. “I can’t. But at least I’m back here now.”

* * *

A few days later found Tony trying to focus on his work in his lab. Since he fully revealed what Riyaa had done to him to Thor and Steve, the latter had been...avoiding him? It was a bit of a setback. Even the revelation that Steve loved Tony hadn’t been enough for Steve to stop looking him in the eye. But this seemed to have done it.

Tony should have known. How could anyone love him after finding out... _that_ about him?

“Sir, there is half an hour left until your board meeting.” JARVIS’ voice brought Tony out of his funk after–Tony checked the time–three hours of sitting in the workshop thinking depressing thoughts.

Tony set down his tablet, realizing he had just been holding it and staring at it. “Any way I could just...not go?”

“You could, Sir, and I would unfortunately not be able to stop you, but I would like to remind you that that would be a mistake as Ms. Potts would go after you.”  
  
Not that Pepper would do anything that could potentially hurt Baby, but Tony did want to avoid upsetting her too much. She really deserved better than him.

Tony recalled very vividly how Pepper had warned him that this was an important board meeting, and that “no, Tony, it really is important this time, and are you trying to say that all the other meetings aren’t important?” The thing was, he did not remember seeing a board meeting, if it really was as important as Pepper claimed, on his itinerary any time until yesterday, but he figured he had just forgotten or something.

Tony sighed. “Guess I’d better...struggle into a suit or something.” Did he even have professional-looking clothes that could possibly fit? Tony hadn’t gotten fitted for anything in months. Currently he just bought clothes that were a few sizes too large for him normally and hoped for the best. 

“Actually, Ms. Potts said that it would be fine if you came in your normal clothes, presumably because you wouldn’t fit into any of your business suits.”

Tony took a second to register what JARVIS had said. “Wow, thanks, J. See if I talk to you anymore.”

“Truly, a tremendous loss on my part.”

Tony scowled. “Apparently all this time I’ve been threatening DUM-E with community college I should have threatened you instead.”

The robot in question beeped from where he was attempting to clean the floor but really was just making a bigger mess. Tony didn’t even bother saying anything about it by this point.

“I’ll be sure to keep that in mind every time I speak to you.”

True to his word, Tony would end up not speaking to JARVIS for the rest of the day. Never let it be said he wasn’t petty.

In the meantime, he decided that since he only needed to go down a few floors to reach the meeting he’d be fine waiting a few more minutes, and picked his tablet back up. Instead of continuing designing things, knowing he’d easily get absorbed in the work, he started checking his emails.

Twenty minutes prior to the meeting were probably enough time for Tony to freshen up at least a little bit and head down to the largest conference room they had, which apparently meant Pepper wasn’t kidding about the importance of this meeting.

Tony opened the doors to the room and blinked.

Then blinked again.

This...was definitely not a board meeting. Everywhere, he could see pastel purple and silver streamers, balloons, and other decorations. There were tables set up in the back that were laden with what could only be gifts. There were more tables with what looked like little cakes and other various snacks and drinks. And then, of course, there was the large banner in the middle loudly proclaiming “IT’S A BOY.”

The Avengers plus Peter were milling around talking with each other, drinks in hand. Happy and Pepper were standing near the gifts. Tony was surprised when he noticed T’challa, Shuri, and Stephen were in the group as well.

Fucking Pepper. This was her doing.

When Tony had entered everyone immediately stopped talking and turned to him. He just stood there like an idiot, staring wide eyed at everything.

Pepper came forward, looking beautiful in a simple light pink sundress and smiling widely. He knew Pepper had said he could show up in casual clothing, but now he felt like a slob in his hoodie and sweatpants. “Tony, you’re...actually not late.”

Tony swallowed. “Don’t tell me you were actually planning on surprising me, or something.”

Pepper blushed, slightly. “We considered it, but decided that would not be the best idea with your...condition.”

Fair enough. “So, you decided to throw me a surprise baby shower because…?” Tony was under the impression it was because she knew he would hate having one of those stupid parties where they played childish games.

Pepper shrugged. “Someone had to do it, and you would have refused if I told you about it.”

He knew it.

“You are a sadistic woman.”

Pepper smiled serenely and turned back to the other guests, clapping her hands together. “Okay! So if everyone’s ready, we can start the games.”

Tony blanched. Oh no.

“What’s wrong, Tony?” Rhodey asked with laughter in his voice. “Not a fan of these things?”

Tony threw him a sunny, but fake, smile. “They’re my favorite thing in the world.”  
  
“Come on, Tony, it can’t be that bad, can it?” James said, which was rude of him. He looked like he wanted to be anywhere else but here. “I mean, it’s just us. At least you get along with everyone here.”   
  
“I don’t like Stephen,” Tony said, just to be obstinate. “Why is he here?”   
  
Stephen looked him in the eye. “For the food and nothing else.” It would have been bad for Tony’s reputation if he laughed at that, but fortunately he managed to keep back his smile.

Pepper nudged him in the side. _“Anyway,”_ she said loudly, “let’s get started with the first game. Tony, you can afford to let loose for a few hours. It’s just to have a bit of fun. None of us are actually taking it seriously.”

Tony wondered how Pepper would react if he said that he would prefer a board meeting to this. Seriously. Look, he’d been to baby showers before–mostly for his employees–and he’d enjoyed them. They were cute and fun.

But for some reason, he didn’t enjoy the idea of a baby shower for him. Tony knew he had the reputation of loving the spotlight and sure, he could be genuinely flashy at times, but truthfully the thought of an entire party centered around him was...not that appealing. He’d had enough giant birthday galas and wild raves that by this point he’d rather just sit down and have a slice of cake and have that be the only acknowledgement of his birthday. Or, in this case, his pregnancy.

This wasn’t even that over-the-top, though, Tony told himself. It was literally just a small get-together with people that Tony could call his closest friends (yes, including Stephen). And Pepper as well as the other Avengers had gone through all this effort to, yes, make him suffer, but also because they wanted to do something special for him. And maybe he needed something light and fun after he’d spent the last few days miserable and full of pathetic self-loathing.

Tony grimaced. “Ugh, fine.”

“Great!” Pepper handed something to him.

Tony took and looked at it. It was a pin. “What’s this for?” Looking around, he noticed everyone had one on.

“Put it on. The entire time you can’t say, um, the ‘B’ word and if someone catches you they take it. Whoever has the most pins at the end wins.”  
  
Tony stared at Pepper. “Bitch?”

“No, no, look, I would say it, but I don’t want to get into another argument with Clint–” she sent a look at the person in question, who held up his hands in surrender, “–over whether it counts when I’m trying to explain it or not. So, what’s inside of you right now?”

A light bulb went off in Tony’s head. “Oh, baby!”

Pepper simply held her hand out.

“What? No, that can’t count. Pepper, that’s not fair!”

“Technically, you’ve said it twice, so hand it over.” Pepper gave him an innocent look, and he sighed and gave her the pin.

“Them’s the rules, Tony,” Rhodey said with a shit-eating grin. Tony flipped him off.

Immediately after they started the games, which were just as stupid as Tony had predicted, but honestly? He still had fun. Everyone was laughing. Tony couldn’t remember the last time time they had all gotten together and just...let loose? Sure, they had fun from time to time, but it was kind of nice to do dumb and childish things without any sort of judgment.

Maybe Pepper was right. Not that Tony would ever admit that.

The first one they’d had was a game of Twister, but instead everyone had wear a fanny pack with small weights inside, as well as strap a pillow to their belly, in order to make it seem as though they were pregnant.

All Tony–and Stephen, who refused to play because of his hands–had to do was sit and watch. It was...quite possibly one of the dumbest things they’d ever done, but it was hilarious watching Earth’s mightiest heroes make a fool of themselves trying not to fall over while twisting into impossible positions. Steve had been the first to get out, surprisingly enough, while T’challa was the winner. He really did have catlike reflexes and balance.

They played several other games, such as one where they split into teams and every member had to quickly diaper a baby doll as soon as possible. Tony had admittedly never actually gotten around to practicing, and so did horribly at that. In another one, they set up an obstacle course and everyone had to try and maneuver a stroller with the same baby toy through the course.

As for the ‘No Baby Challenge’, Peter had miraculously won that. Apparently he had shown more cunning than possible by purposefully manipulating people into saying the word.

T’challa and Shuri also approached Tony at one point. “We haven’t seen you in so long,” T’challa said.

“I’m offended you didn’t tell us about the ba–uh, child, right away,” Shuri said, ignoring T’challa’s scolding “Shuri.” “We had to find out from the news, and that was kind of weird.”

Tony smiled and rubbed his neck. “Sorry, I’ve been distracted for these last few months. I’m sure you can guess why.”

Shuri made a face and crossed her arms. “I see how it is. Clearly, I’m not that important. I suppose all those times we worked together in the lab don’t matter either.”

“Shuri,” T’challa said again. Shuri elbowed him.

Tony couldn’t help but laugh. “I’m sorry, Shuri. Next time, I’ll make sure to tell you.”  
  
Shuri raised her eyebrows. “Next time, huh?”

Tony faltered. “Uh...I meant that...look, you know what I mean.”

“Oh, yes, definitely,” Shuri said, seemingly genuine. “I can’t wait for you to forget to tell us again, because clearly we don’t matter to you. And to think I was going to offer to tutor your child–”

“What Shuri means is, congratulations, and we’re happy for you,” T’challa said, attempting to defuse the nonexistent tension. Tony knew how Shuri was. Maybe it bothered her a little bit that he forgot, but overall she was just playing it up and didn’t care. T’challa would know that, too, but was probably worried that _Tony_ couldn’t tell.

“Thank you, T’challa. And Shuri, I guess.”

“But seriously,” T’challa started, “you forgot to tell us?”

Tony let out a huff that could have either been laughter or an aggravated sigh, he couldn’t really tell.

Afterwards, Pepper made Tony start opening presents.

Tony...may or may not have gotten emotional throughout the entire thing. Especially since he really didn’t need people to buy things for him, he was a billionaire after all, but because of that his friends had pretty much gotten him more...personal things he couldn’t necessarily buy.

He cried the hardest at Peter’s gift, which was his old blanket and also the one of the only things he had left from before his parents died. “You didn’t need to,” he said through tears. “This is your–”

“Mr. Stark, I don’t mind. Really. It’s kind of like passing down something to a younger brother.” Peter had looked a strange mix of melancholy and joyful at that. “And I made sure to wash it, don’t worry,” he added.

Tony smiled and hugged the blanket to his chest, before leaving it on what little was left of his lap.

Steve’s gift was an art set for the baby, as well as a homemade painted mobile of the Avengers. It was beautiful, and Tony couldn’t stop staring at it. “You made this?” he asked in disbelief, which was probably rude, but still. Tony knew Steve was an artist, had seen his works, but this was something different. He had carved the wood by hand, painted it by hand, put the entire mobile together by hand.

Steve flushed. “It...wasn’t that hard. I just had to learn how to carve wood, that was it.”

Tony scoffed. “‘Just learned to carve wood,’ shut up. What, you cut down the tree that you grew yourself, too? I can’t believe you made this. For _me_.”   
  
“You deserve the best, Tony.” Tony looked up in that moment, staring deep into Steve’s blue eyes. Something passed between the two of them, hitting Tony like a jolt of electricity. In that moment, he knew Steve was still in love with him, that nothing could ever weaken his feelings for Tony.

“Thanks,” Tony said softly.

“Well, now I don’t know how to compare to that,” James said, looking nervous. He handed over the wrapped gift, and Tony gently opened it, revealing a simple, hand-decorated scrapbook that was waiting for Tony to fill it with memories. It was sloppy, and clear that James didn’t have an artistic bone in his body. Tony loved it just as much as the mobile.

“I’m so sorry, I, uh, I didn’t get you anything,” Tony said.

James smiled and shook his head. “Tony, you let me into your life. That’s all I could ever want.”

Tony accepted that reluctantly. “I...okay. But I’ll still get you something,” he insisted.

James opened his mouth, probably to argue, but Rhodey laid a hand on his arm and whispered, “Dude, just let him.”

Tony finished the rest of the gifts, groaning at a few gag ones, like the maternity dress Pepper had gotten to tease him. Joke was on her, though, Tony was actually going to wear it on the days he didn’t want anything constraining on his waistline.

“Thanks, guys,” Tony said once he set aside the last one. “You really didn’t have to–”

“We know, Tones,” Rhodey said, sounding irritated. “We didn’t have to get you anything. But we did, ‘cause you’re our friend.”

Tony was not sure what to say to counter that. The Avengers were stubborn people and they’d be going around in circles if Tony continued. He simply smiled at the pile of gifts, feeling as though for the first time in a long time, he really was okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kind of got sappy and fluffy at the end there, but Tony deserves some happiness.
> 
> I looked up a bunch of ideas for baby shower games (I have no idea how to explain my search history by this point) so sorry to anyone who enjoys them, but what the fuck? They were literally the dumbest things I’ve ever seen.


	9. Month Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took a while. I got a few bad comments which really ruined my feelings over this story. I almost considered deleting it. But, I do want to finish it. So I forced myself to write this chapter. Though I really hate everything I wrote in here now. But that's normal, I have a tendency to hate anything I create a few months or even weeks after I create it. 
> 
> But that's why comments are moderated now.
> 
> I also changed up chapter two. It's nothing major, but all of the problems in the comments arose from that chapter. I didn't mean to offend anybody, which is why I feel really bad that I did, so I changed a few lines.

“Hey, check this out,” Steve said from the kitchen table as Tony passed by him. He was pointing at his laptop. “I’d like some constructive criticism on my mission report.”

“Mission report? We still do those?” Tony asked in confusion. “Cap, you don’t have to be a goody-two-shoes all the time. We don’t even have anyone to report to.”

Steve rolled his eyes and gestured to his side. “Just come here.”

Tony obliged and proceeded to stare at the screen. “Why is it neon pink and written in Comic Sans?” He didn’t even bring up the fact that it seemed to be in size eight font.

“Graphic design is my passion,” Steve said. When Tony looked up at him, he winked. “Fury asked me for this, so I’m just trying to make sure he’ll have fun reading it.”

Tony couldn’t help but laugh, leaning over and crossing his arms on the table. “Why do you still write mission reports to Fury? He’s barely in charge of us.”

Steve shrugged. “It’s Fury. The guy could be dead and he’ll still be asking for these damn reports. And he came up to me after our last mission and said, ‘you need to start writing mission reports again.’ No idea why, he just did.”

Tony supposed the phase ‘it’s Fury’ explained everything. “You mean the whole AIM and the Cosmic Cube thing?”

“Yeah.”

“You could just...not do it.”  
  
“Nah, I’d rather mess with him.” Steve sighed and typed in a few more words. “Would it be more obnoxious if I kept it at this tiny size or if I made it a word per page?”  
  
Tony thought about it. “Do both.”

Steve’s jaw dropped open, and he turned towards Tony.

Tony pressed a finger against his lips, still in thought. ”Or, no, that might be too outrageous.”

“No, I’m doing it. That–” Steve huffed in amusement, shaking his head, “–is evil. I like the way you think.”

Tony rose an eyebrow. “Careful, don’t want anyone hearing Captain America admitting he likes an evil idea.”

Steve snorted. “Let them. Fury deserves it.”  
  
“Well, when he replies, tell me, I want to see it.”

“Will do.” Steve turned back to his laptop, but his eyes strayed back to Tony. There was a lightness in them that Tony hadn’t recalled seeing in–what seemed like forever, actually.

Tony couldn’t help but stare at those sky-blue eyes. God, he was beautiful.

“You know what?” Steve said, shaking Tony out of his musings. “We should talk more. I’ve been missing you. Why don’t we talk more?”  
  
Tony slid into a seat, realizing that his answer may lead to a particularly long conversation and that he probably shouldn’t be standing any longer. “Uh, because you’ve been...kind of avoiding me for the last few weeks?"

The lightness disappeared. Steve opened his mouth, closed it, and looked back at his laptop. “Right.”

Tony almost regretted what he’d said, but he felt it was necessary. “Can you...explain that whole thing to me?” He waved a hand. “You were fine, you could at least look me in the eye, and then suddenly you just–left, emotionally, at least. The last time we really, like, connected was during the baby shower, which at least told me you didn’t hate me.”  
  
Steve seemed entirely too focused on his screen. “When did it stop again?”

Tony wasn’t sure if Steve was just asking for show or if he genuinely forgot. “When I mentioned that I had a...you know…”  
  
“Oh. _Oh._ That!” Steve looked back at Tony. “You can guess, can’t you?”  
  
“I did, but I’m pretty sure I guessed wrong.” Tony ducked his head, avoiding eye contact. “I thought it disgusted you,” he admitted.  
  
Steve’s brow furrowed. “No. No! Oh, God, Tony, you actually thought I was disgusted with you?” He pressed his hand against his face, groaning. “Ah, I’m so sorry, I should have said something before now, because that’s the exact opposite of what happened.”

Tony thought about it for a second. He could only come to one conclusion. “What, so you ran out of the room...because you were...turned on?”  
  
“What the–no! _No!_ ” Steve’s entire face turned red, and it spread to his ears and neck. “That’s not at all what–okay, I’ll admit I have thought of you like...that. But I’ve never actually ever, you know, done anything, because that would be creepy. And when you said–when you admitted that, I got a bunch of...inappropriate images in my head, which made things really awkward. Not boner awkward, though I was getting there, just...awkward knowing I was thinking that in the same room as you. And I felt like such a creep for thinking–those things, that I started avoiding you.”

“That’s exactly what turned on means,” Tony said, once he managed to parse through the ramble and understand the gist of what Steve was saying. “It’s okay. I know I’m sexy.” Not like this, obviously. Tony had never felt so unsexy and unattractive in his life, not even after he just got back from Afghanistan.  
  
“No, I swear,” Steve said, still red. “I mean, yeah, kind of, but it wasn’t really the thought of you having a vagina that did it. More just the idea of you...uh...naked...in general.”  
  
Tony couldn’t quite hide the hurt. “Do you prefer me with a dick, then?”  
  
“God, I’m so bad at this,” Steve whispered. “Tony, I’m into you whether you have a dick or a vagina. It doesn’t matter to me. I like...both.”

“Oh, so you’re bi,” Tony said, eyebrows raising.

“I consider myself Tony-sexual.” Steve got a grin at the joke.  
  
“...But are you bi?”

Steve sighed. “Yes, I am bi.”  
  
Tony nodded. “You know it doesn’t bother me that you have dirty thoughts about me, right? I probably would have minded if you were anyone else, because people did sorta have a tendency to only see me for my body, but I know you do it...out of a place of love? That doesn’t make sense. That’s not what I was trying to say.”  
  
Steve shook his head slightly. “It kind of does. But I still feel wrong doing it, since, you know, you rejected me and all.”

Tony felt another flash of guilt deep in his heart. He’d put it off long enough. It was now or never.  “Okay, well, I kind of have to confess something too.” He took a deep breath. “I’m in love with you.”  
  
Steve frowned at him. “That’s not funny, Tony.”  
  
“I’m serious!” Tony waved his arms around, trying to articulate but just looking like an idiot. He...was not this bad at speaking, usually, but then, he’d had a few mishaps here and there. He supposed this was one of them. “Look, I know you won’t believe me because I kind of rejected you, but it’s true! I realized it later, that, yeah, I kind of do love you back, I just never noticed it because I’m an...idiot, I guess. I don’t–think I’ve ever felt this way for anyone before, not even Pepper, so I just...never noticed the difference,” he finished lamely.

“Okay, when exactly did you realize this?” Steve didn’t sound convinced, but at least he wasn’t outright denying it. Maybe there was hope.

“Uh, the night you told me.”  
  
“What the hell, Tony! That was months ago! Why did you wait so long to tell me?”

“Because I knew you wouldn’t believe me if I told you right away, you’d think I just–forced myself.”

“Okay, that’s–fair enough, I guess. I can understand that.” Steve blew out a breath. “Actually I still kind of don’t believe you.”  
  
Tony had no idea how he could prove something like this. He knew from painful experiences that love was very easy to fake, and short of using a lie detector he had no idea how to prove it–actually, that might not be a bad idea as a last resort.

He had fucked it all up, now he was living the consequences. Desperately, Tony leaned forward and pressed his lips against Steve’s, which was dumb, that sort of confession only worked in movies, except, _oh_ , apparently not. Steve was reciprocating, and it wasn’t the greatest kiss ever, it was actually kind of uncomfortable with how stretched forward Tony was while still sitting down, especially with his gargantuan belly in the way, and–Steve pushed him back gently.

“That doesn’t prove you love me.”  
  
Damn movies.

Steve held up a hand when Tony started to speak. “But…” Steve sighed. “Tony, I know you wouldn’t lie to me. Actually, no, you would and you have, on multiple occasions–but I know you wouldn’t try to manipulate me like _this_.” A small, almost secretive grin grew on his face. “So I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt.”  
  
Tony was so grateful he almost kissed him again, but Steve probably wouldn’t appreciate that.  
  
“So you didn’t know that you were…”  
  
“In love with you,” Tony finished.  
  
“In love with me,” Steve said at the same time.  
  
“Yeah.”

Steve nodded, looking as though he was trying to digest what Tony had told him. He glanced down at his lap, then back at Tony. “You didn’t know?” Steve repeated, looking pained. “Seriously?”

“Yeah, yeah, I know, I’m an idiot. Just get it out of your system right now if you need to.”

“...Right. And now that you’ve realized it you want to…”  
  
“Just if–if you were willing, still, maybe, we could...give a relationship a try?”

“Yes,” Steve said immediately, much faster than Tony had expected. Then Steve continued. “But don’t–you have something going on with Bucky?”  
  
“James? Uh, not really,” Tony...lied? An unrequited crush didn’t count, did it? Tony wasn’t even sure if it was that much of a crush, to be honest. He liked the man, sure, and was _definitely_ attracted to him (do not go there do not go there right now), but Tony barely knew him, not like he knew Steve. He felt a little bad for saying that; it wasn’t as though he didn’t value James as much. Tony just...didn’t feel about him the same way he did with Steve? And that wasn’t a bad thing! James was a great friend, just like–Rhodey. He simply...loved Steve a different way. “Well, besides the obvious.” Tony placed a hand on his stomach. “I mean, I have no idea if he even likes me.”  
  
“Okay, now you’re just being dumb on purpose. I think it’s pretty obvious that he likes you,” Steve said. “Tony, maybe you’re...not exactly the best judge for how people feel about you? Just wanna put that out there.”

Tony was about to argue, but then he thought about all those weeks–months?– he didn’t pick up on Steve’s feelings for him and had to concede that it might be true.

“So maybe we should, uh, bring Bucky into this conversation."

Tony didn’t mind that, had planned on it himself. “Yeah, I have no problem. I mean, he _is_ the father of this baby, so there’s a bit of...stuff we have to figure out there.” But… ”What if something comes up?”  
  
“We’ll figure it out by talking like adults.”  
  
“I think that’s the first time I’ve heard you willingly say that.”  
  
“Guess I’m learning,” Steve said, smirking.

“Right, so, James.” Tony let out a breath, spreading his hands. “We’re going to talk to him about this. JARVIS, where’s James?”  
  
“He is currently in the gym.”

“You, uh, wanna finish your…?” Tony nodded at Steve’s laptop.

“What, my report?” Steve closed the laptop. “Fury can wait.” He stood up, offering a hand to help Tony up because by now the entire team was accustomed to Tony getting stuck after sitting down.

He’d also started waddling, especially when he was tired, had to pee, or had just been sitting down. Unfortunately, all three of those things applied right now. Steve was watching him, clearly holding back a smile.

“Stop laughing at me.”  
  
Steve put on an innocent expression. “I’m not laughing.”  
  
“That’s what you all say. But I bet you wouldn’t be able to deal with all this–” Tony gestured in the general expanse of his stomach, “–as well as I have.” He was only partially joking. Now that Tony was officially in his third trimester, the jokes from his teammates (mostly Clint) seemed to have increased, and Tony _may_ be slightly pissed. Only slightly, of course.

“Yeah,” Steve agreed, something like admiration in his eyes, “probably not.”

“Oh, hold on,” Tony said, wincing as the baby kicked him hard in the bladder. It was only sheer force of will (and pelvic muscles) that kept him from going back to his kindergarten days. Ha, just kidding, Tony had never pissed himself (the birthday party didn’t count, okay, he was demonstrating a function of the suit). “I have to pee.”

* * *

James was in the gym as Jarvis had said, punching away at the special reinforced bags Tony had made for Steve. For a moment, Tony wondered if he was upset, remembering all those times he had caught Steve doing the same when they were still a new team and didn’t know how to open up. But James immediately turned when he heard the doors opening, waving at the two of them.

“How’re you doing, Buck?” Steve asked.

“Not bad.” James landed a few more punches, and uh, wow, Tony could watch that all day. Steve too. He wasn’t picky. _Not the time_ , he told himself. “‘S there something you need?”  
  
“I thought we could talk. Nothing bad,” Steve said quickly, “but it is a...serious talk.”

James picked up his towel, rubbing it over his face and leaving it hanging on his shoulder, and pulled off the hairband tying his hair, letting the strands fall. “Sure.” He caught sight of how close Tony and Steve were standing, and his eyes popped open. “Jesus Christ, Tony, did you finally get your head out of your ass?”  
  
What? Had Tony heard him right? He shared a look with Steve. “Uh...what exactly do you mean by that?”

“You know exactly what I mean,” James said. “I’ve been waiting for months for you to realize you loved him too, and I couldn’t even say anything to Steve because the idiot wouldn’t have believed me, so I just had to sit there watching as you two danced around each other like–like–I don’t know even what, just _something_.”

Tony was horrified. “Was it that obvious?”  
  
“Tony, a betting pool has been going around the Avengers for _years_. I knew from the day I met you while I was in custody; you made moon eyes at him constantly. I don’t know how the Avengers managed to stay out of it for so long.” James shook his head. “Natalia had to ‘convince me’ to leave you guys alone, and I’m sure you know her preferred method of persuasion.”  
  
Tony knew, very well, that it was strangling someone with her thighs until they gave into whatever she was demanding. “I’m...sorry you had to go through that,” was all he could say. It couldn’t have been that obvious, could it? Steve hadn’t known.

That...didn’t really help his case, actually.

“I’m just going to ignore all that in favor of what I came to talk about,” Steve said after a very long pause. “We...were considering a relationship?”  
  
“Thank God,” James muttered.

“And this is a very new thing, we only agreed to it like ten minutes ago, so. But you’re kind of caught up in the middle of this, being the–the baby–do you have a name yet?” Steve asked, looking at Tony.

Tony shook his head.

“Being the baby’s father,” Steve repeated. “Also, Tony really is an idiot. He thought you didn’t like him.”  
  
James sent a very dark glare Tony’s way, who squeaked and hid behind Steve.  
  
“ _Do_ you like him? And I mean this in a romantic sense.”

James tilted his head slightly. His brow was furrowed. Beyond that, he was unreadable. “Nah, he’s like a close friend to me.”

Tony had figured, but it still stung a bit. Well, he’d get over his crush. He crept back out from behind Steve, pressing his side against Steve’s arm. Steve moved his arm, only to wrap it around Tony’s waist and pull him closer. Tony closed his eyes, savoring the feeling of being held.

Steve frowned. “Buck, are you sure?”

“O’course. I fully support this relationship, one hundred percent. And it looks like you’re already there.” James nodded at the two of them. Both Steve and Tony flushed, pulling apart.  
  
“What–what about you two?” Tony spoke up, trying to divert the conversation. “You’re, like, the romance of the century. Technically, two centuries. I refuse to believe it’s only platonic with you.”  
  
James looked worried. “Uh...Steve told me he loved me once.” Tony’s head whipped around to face Steve. He had asked, but that didn’t mean he was _expecting_ it. “But that was years ago! Right, Steve?”  
  
Steve nodded earnestly, looking intently at Tony. “I swear, Tony, it was during the whole Winter Soldier mess. But I knew nothing could actually happen, and I was already over it by the time I fell in love with you. You’re not a replacement, or a rebound.” He cupped Tony’s face. “You’re the only one I want.” It seemed as though Steve had poured every ounce of love in his body into his eyes, so that there was no way Tony could doubt it.

“I’m going to ask you something, and please don’t lie to me,” Tony said calmly, not betraying the storm of emotions inside. “Are you still in love with him?”  
  
Steve paused. “I love him, Tony, but I’m not in love with him.”  
  
Tony nodded. He did get the difference, but now he wasn’t sure. Even as all the evidence piled up, telling him that he was the only one for Steve, there was a dark part of Tony’s mind whispering to him that it was all a lie.

For the first time in his life, Tony told that part to shut up. He loved Steve too much, and it was clear Steve loved him back. He wasn’t going to give Steve up because his insecurities got in the way of his happiness.

“Are you...are you angry with me for not telling you?” Steve ventured hesitantly.

“No,” Tony shook his head in confusion, “why would I be angry about that? We technically aren’t even in a relationship yet. I mean, I’m glad you told me now instead of later. I’m just...thinking about it. I believe you.”

Steve sighed in relief, grinning widely, before he surged down and pulled Tony into a deep kiss. Tony melted into it immediately, holding his hands against Steve’s shoulders. Steve nipped at Tony’s bottom lip, and he let out a soft groan.

“Guys? Guys, I’m still here.”  
  
They jumped apart, eyes wide, before things got really steamy, which was merciful for James, not so much for Tony, who hadn’t been kissed like that in–he couldn’t remember the last time he’d been kissed like that, probably with Pepper, so a long time. He didn’t need to get into specifics.

“Oh, right,” Tony said shakily. Were his knees wobbling? He leaned against Steve to catch his balance, not for any other fucking reason.

“I’m almost wondering if it’s going to be more painful seeing you two like this,” James said.

Steve smiled sheepishly. “Sorry, Bucky. Got distracted for a second there. Though, I think we’ve cleared up everything.”  
  
“What about the baby?” Tony asked suddenly. “You’re the father,” he gestured at James, “we know that, but if I dated Steve then he’d kind of have to take on that role too.”  
  
“Oh, shit,” Steve said. “I forgot about that. Really, Tony, I don’t mind. I already love the baby. Uh.” He laughed awkwardly. “I know this sounds creepy but before we found out it was Bucky I was kind of hoping I would turn out to be the father.”

“It’s...not creepy. I think?” Tony looked at James for help, who shrugged.

“Listen, I’m an assassin, I’m the last person you want to ask about that.”

Tony moved to sit down on the bench, holding one hand against his belly and the other against the bench for support as he lowered himself. His feet and back ached like hell, and standing could take the breath out of him too much. He’d already had trouble with breathing because of the arc reactor, and the pregnancy only put more pressure on his lungs. It seemed to be manageable for the most part, although his doctor had made him promise that he would call if it got worse.

The other two waited until he was done, watching worriedly. “You alright?” Steve asked. At Tony’s nod, he continued, “But you don’t think it would be, like, invading or something if I...helped Tony with the kid? I don’t want to be a deadbeat partner.”

“He can have two dads,” James said slowly.

“Three,” Steve corrected.  
  
James laughed. “Right, three. Sorry, Tony.”

Tony simply rolled his eyes, rubbing gently against the spot where Baby was kicking.

“You don’t mind, then?”  
  
“No, Stevie, you’re my best friend, of course I don’t mind.” James said it as though Steve was an idiot for ever thinking that James would mind, and Tony couldn’t help but laugh at the irritated expression on Steve’s face.

“So are we, you know, done here?” James asked. “‘Cause I would like to get back to my workout.” He smirked and wiggled his eyebrows. “I’m sure you’ll get a different kind of workout soon, Stevie.”

Tony expected Steve to get extremely flustered, which would be adorable to watch, but he only scoffed and said, “Yeah, you wish you were part of it,” before scooping Tony up in his arms and leaving the gym.

“Put me down,” Tony said flatly.

“No. I don’t want you to exert yourself.”

Tony sighed. Steve had a point. “Why didn’t you get embarrassed at what James said?”  
  
“I’m too used to it to ever react anymore.” There was a mischievous glint in his eyes. “Though, he wasn’t entirely wrong.”

Tony glanced around, and realized they were headed in the direction of Steve’s bedroom.

“Only if you want to, of course.”  
  
He wanted to, god he wanted to, but he wasn’t sure. Tony bit his lip. His body was a mess right now, and he was too insecure about it to think about revealing it.

They entered the bedroom, and Steve placed him on his bed, frowning in concern. He laid out on his stomach next to Tony, crossing his arms and pillowing his head on them. “Is it about your stomach?” How could Steve guess so accurately? This man was perfect. Tony didn’t deserve him.

“That–that, and the vagina.” Tony shrugged with one arm. “Turns out it’s fucking traumatizing as hell when your sex is forcibly changed.”  
  
“I can imagine,” Steve said. “I wouldn’t have managed as well as you.”

Tony let out a shaky breath, tears pricking at his eyes. “Honestly, I think the only reason I’m not completely a mess about it is because I’ve been so distracted with everything else.”

“And you never opened up to anyone about it.”  
  
Tony laid down on his back, instantly regretted it, and turned over onto his side with difficulty, facing Steve. “No.”  
  
“You can talk to me,” Steve said. His eyes were wide and earnest, like a–a puppy’s. “Believe me, Tony, I could never judge you. I don’t want to sound too optimistic but maybe it’ll help.”

“Riyaa offered to change it back once the baby was born,” Tony admitted. “I said no, because I was too scared. I just didn’t want her magic violating me anymore. So kind of impulsively, I decided I’d rather live like this than go through that again.” The tears he’d been holding back fell through the barrier, his face crumpling. “But I don’t want to live like this.”

Steve pushed himself up and pulled Tony into his arms. “Shh, baby, I completely understand,” he whispered as Tony cried into his neck, soaking his shirt. He continued murmuring comforting things, rocking him back and forth.

It seemed the dam holding back all of Tony’s emotions about this particular part of the spell had burst, letting forth everything that had been building up for seven months in a tidal wave. The entire time Steve just sat there and listened, pressing his lips against Tony’s forehead and rubbing his back soothingly.

Tony cried for a long time, longer than he ever had. But eventually the tears petered out, leaving only occasional hitches in his breath and red, puffy eyes. When Tony stopped sobbing, Steve gently lifted his head, staring down into his face lovingly. “How are you feeling?”

“If you’re expecting me to say better than you can just walk out there,” Tony mumbled, pointing at the door.

Steve laughed. “I don’t. But maybe, refreshed?”

“Mm, maybe.” Tony cast his eyes downwards, doodling little equations with his finger on Steve’s collarbone. “I had one chance to change all this, and I blew it.”  
  
“You don’t know that,” Steve said. “Remember what Thor said? That he could do the same thing if he learned?”  
  
Tony raised his head.

“Well, we all know Thor’s a pretty fast learner when he wants to be. If anything else, we could get him to do it. Or Stephen. He should be able to change it too. You have other options, Tony."

Tony...had never thought about that. He had been so focused on what had happened to him it had never occurred to him that he _knew_ magic-users. And he was supposed to be considered a genius.

“Tony, come on,” Steve said, somehow guessing exactly what Tony was thinking. “You were clearly repressing everything you felt about this...sex change? I guess that’s what it basically is. Of course you didn’t come to the solution immediately.”

Knowing that one day he’d potentially be able to change back did change his feelings about it a little bit. Of course, it was still traumatizing and Tony would still have trouble handling it. But he had a bright spot in his future, after months of thinking he’d be forced to live his life like this because of an impulsive decision.

“That’s right,” Steve said, “smile. I love it when you smile. Your eyes light up in the most beautiful way.”  
  
Tony blushed. “Stop it, Steve.”

“Nope,” Steve almost sing-songed, and that was an achievement, because his singing voice was like nails on a chalkboard. “You’re beautiful, your eyes are beautiful, and I love everything about you.” He kissed Tony on the cheek, who laughed and tried to push him away.

“No, Steve! Stop!” Tony cried with laughter in his voice.

Steve persevered and continued peppering kisses all over Tony’s burning face as he tried in vain to push Steve over.

Tony fell over, laughing, and Steve leaned over him. “I love you,” Steve whispered, a hand on Tony’s cheek, and landed one final peck on Tony’s nose.

“I love you too,” and it felt good saying that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, I keep forgetting to put this in when I post a new chapter. I finally bothered to get a tumblr. I mean, I've had one for years, but I don't want that one connected to my Ao3 account bc people I know in rl could theoretically find my tumblr and I do not want them finding my mpreg fanfiction. 
> 
> So it's scaryy-noodles (bc apparently scarynoodles was taken already. whatever). It's literally an empty wasteland right now but feel free to follow me and send me requests or something. Nothing super long, and no smut please bc writing that makes me uncomfortable, but I'll write pretty much anything about Tony and any ship besides like, Tony/Peter Parker, and Tony/Thanos if it's not in a shitposting context, because I've seen some people be serious about it.
> 
> I also do art but I haven't drawn regularly since I had a deviantArt, which was years ago. Please don't ask me what it was. My icon is actually a digital painting I made two or three years ago.


	10. Month Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is pretty much a filler chapter because the plot actually picks up in the next three chapters, which all make up month nine. The delay was because along with this, I’ve been writing those three chapters. Once they’re all completed, I’ll be posting them in two day intervals. You guys better get ready, because it’s a wild ride and Tony is put through the wringer, especially in part two.

Tony could honestly say that he’d never been as happy as was now, dating Steve. The Avengers were grateful that they had finally caught on after, according to them, ‘years of disgusting pining.’ Tony still thought they were exaggerating. If that was true, why wouldn’t they have interfered before then? Though now they were complaining about how disgustingly cute Steve and Tony were, so Tony supposed that they just couldn’t win in this particular battle. 

If he was going to be completely honest, Tony and Steve  _ may  _ have been overdoing the whole...honeymoon stage because of how much it bothered everyone.

Not that Tony really cared what they thought when he was dating the peak of human perfection, both physically and personality-wise. Steve was so kind, so doting, so willing to help Tony with anything now that he was in his eighth month of pregnancy and unbelievably huge. Tony, in turn, thrived on the attention he was given.

The two of them also agreed that it was probably for the best that they didn’t have sex that time they had just gotten together, and that they should slow down their relationship to get a feel for it first. Especially now that Tony probably weighed more than Steve, Thor, and Bucky combined and just wasn’t in the mood for sex.

That was an exaggeration. He was not that fat.

However, Steve did jokingly say that they’d better get a move on and do it soon if they didn’t want to worry about the chance of having another surprise baby. Tony didn’t talk to him for a day.

Listen, sex was the last thing on his mind right now. His fingers and ankles were so swollen they resembled sausages and slabs of meat respectively, his chest was constantly leaking and sore, he was always feeling gassy and bloated, and he could barely stand without sweating and getting out of breath from the effort. 

Honestly, by this point Tony was almost looking forward to being on bedrest. 

Tony still hadn’t figured out a name for the baby, either. At this rate Baby would be born nameless, which would make Tony feel bad. He did have a few ideas, but he didn’t want to take all credit for the name and he couldn’t choose between them, anyway. He’d been talking with James, and recently, Steve had joined in on the conversation as well, after a lot of reassurance that he wasn’t encroaching and that he had a right to share his own opinion. 

Steve had taken to his impending fatherhood well, considering he had kind of forgotten about that part when he first got together with Tony. He was researching prenatal and postnatal development, searching up videos on how to diaper and swaddle babies, and even tried watching a few live birth videos–similar to Tony, he didn’t manage and fainted. How that man could handle the bloodiest, goriest scenes in real life without batting an eye but couldn’t watch a baby being born was beyond Tony. At least Tony had the excuse of hormones and being freaked out by the thought of that happening to him sooner or later.

Tony had grinned when he first found out, because he remembered that time all those months ago when he caught Steve researching pregnancy facts, and poor Steve, unable to explain that he was suspicious of Tony’s symptoms, had blurted out that he was the one that was pregnant. It was something that Tony had not let go of even now, and would still bring up from time to time.

Anyway, out of curiosity, Tony had JARVIS poll the Avengers (and Peter, when he came over) on suggestions for baby names. He was entirely unsurprised when the majority of the names turned out to be jokes or just their own names. Natasha was still insisting on her name, despite Tony repeatedly telling her that Baby was a boy. 

Peter had said Jeff, which was fine and all, but random. When Tony asked why, all he said was, “My name is Jeff” in the strangest voice ever. It was clearly one of his memes so Tony crossed that one out.

Basically, Tony was still stuck where he started and the poll did nothing to help.

Three days before Tony was officially on bedrest, he was having breakfast with Natasha, Steve, Rhodey, and Clint, seated on Steve’s lap and feeding him little pieces of the meal every so often because they both knew it drove Clint and Rhodey insane.

Maybe they  _ were _ disgustingly cute.

Either way, Tony was in the best relationship of his life (sorry, Pepper), he had a baby on the way, and he was still getting along well with James–after what initially happened with Steve Tony was glad they weren’t doing a repeat. He was...happy. So he’d feed Steve all the pieces food he wanted, damn whatever everyone else thought.

“Honestly, I can’t wait for the honeymoon phase to be over,” Clint said. Rhodey nodded in agreement.

“You’re just jealous because no one can do this for you,” Tony said as he placed another piece of bacon in Steve’s mouth.

Natasha elbowed Clint as he opened his mouth to respond. “Let them have their fun,” she murmured. “Would you rather they go back to pining for each other from afar?”

“Thank you, Natasha,” Steve said.

“It’s indecent,” Rhodey muttered to himself.

“You’ve seen worse when it comes to me,” Tony said. “What’s your problem?”

“You’re too good for him, Tones,” Rhodey said, spearing another bite of egg.   
  
Tony’s jaw dropped open on behalf of Steve. “I am not!”   
  
“No, he’s right,” Steve said, rubbing his side soothingly. 

“You just went up a level in respect,” Rhodey said. Steve smiled, pleased. “But that doesn’t mean you come even close to being good enough for Tones. Only time will tell whether you’re worth it.”

“Or L’Oréal,” Natasha whispered.

Steve nodded slowly. “Right.”   
  
Tony frowned at Rhodey, wrapping his arms around Steve’s neck protectively. “You’re worth it to me,” he cooed, hiding his smirk when Clint gagged loudly and Rhodey groaned. They made it so easy to mess with them. He caught Natasha’s eye, and winked at her. He had no doubt she knew what the two of them were up to. 

Rhodey shook his head. “How is the whole baby thing going to work anyway? Like, are you co-parenting?”   
  
Tony’s hand automatically went down to his stomach at the reminder of the baby. “Yup. Three dads.”   
  
“Or two dads and one mom,” Natasha said, pouring more cereal into her bowl. Tony wasn’t sure whether or not she was joking.   


He rolled his eyes, holding back his smile. “Or that, I guess.” He reached for another piece of bacon.

Clint abruptly slammed his fork down onto the table. “Holy fucking shit how is the baby even coming out? I’m leaving the team if it bursts out your chest Alien-style, I can’t handle that.”   
  
“ _ You  _ can’t handle that?” Tony cried in horror. “I’ll be dead if that happens to me. And he’s not going to, you idiot.” 

“But it’s going to have to be a C-section, isn’t it?” Natasha asked.

Tony looked at Steve for help, who nodded encouragingly. “No.” 

Rhodey gave him a weird look. “What? I’m pretty sure that’s the only thing you  _ can  _ do, unless you magically grew a vagina.”   
  
There was an awkward silence. Tony avoided eye contact.    
  
Rhodey’s, and pretty much everyone else’s, eyes widened. “Oh my god, what the fuck, Tony, you actually have one? I have to see this.” He stopped. “Wait, no, I’m talking about your genitals. Never mind. But how did it happen?”   
  
“Magic,” Tony said morosely. “I hate magic.”

Clint burst into laughter. “This is amazing. I can’t believe this actually happened to you.”

Tony had expected this from Clint, and yet, it still hurt. Steve rubbed his side again and placed a gentle kiss on his cheek, glaring at Clint and opening his mouth to most likely scold him.

Natasha beat him to it, seemingly picking up on Tony’s distress and pinching Clint hard in the neck, twisting.

“Ow, Nat! What the fuck?”

“Say anything else and you’ll be the one without a penis,” she said as lightly as one would speak about the weather. Only a flash in her green eyes betrayed any danger.

Tony was appalled but not particularly surprised she went there. “Hey, that’s a bit extreme.”

“Forced body modification is never funny,” Natasha said fiercely.

Tony frowned. He knew a bit about her backstory, they all did, but it was very limited and only rarely would she open up about it. It was probably better that way, because what he did know made him want to invent a time machine and kidnap her as a child so that she would grow up happy. That probably wasn’t the best or most normal response, but Tony would do anything if it meant she didn’t have to grow up in the Red Room.

“You alright?” he asked.

“I’m fine. Go back to feeding Steve.” Natasha took a bite of her cereal, and that was all they spoke on the topic, clearly sensing that it wasn’t the time to push. Tony did as she said.

This time, Clint only made it a minute before commenting. “Seriously, though, aren’t you hungry?”

“I already ate,” Tony said. “My lovely boyfriend made breakfast for me.” He smiled, kissing Steve lightly, mostly because he could taste the bacon grease on Steve’s lips and it was kind of gross. 

“I’m eating in my room,” Clint said, picking up his plate, piling more toast and eggs on it, and leaving.

Tony almost felt bad. Almost.

Natasha rolled her eyes, watching the doorway from which Clint exited. “Don’t worry about him, he’s being immature.” 

Tony slid off of Steve’s lap, Steve holding onto him so that he didn’t abruptly end up on the floor. Now that it was only Rhodey, it wasn’t nearly as much fun to torture just him. 

Steve looked concerned anyway. “Well, we just wanted to mess with him a little, not drive him out of the room.”   
  
Tony laughed. “He’ll get over it.” He’d be back to making fun of the “lovebirds” the next time he saw them, Tony knew.

Rhodey looked at the two of them, unamused. “You did that because you knew it bothered me? And Clint?”   
  
“I can’t help it,” Tony said. “You’re like that disapproving suburban dad who threatens his teenage daughter’s first boyfriend with a shotgun.”

Natasha snorted. “That’s...actually a good description of him.”

“He actually hasn’t given me a shovel talk yet,” Steve said.

Tony’s eyebrows rose. “Seriously? Normally, he gives one within one day of hearing about my relationship.”

“ _ He  _ is right here,” Rhodey snapped. “And I’m staying out of this relationship because we’re all adults and I don’t need to interfere.” He huffed and crossed his arms. “That doesn’t mean I have to be happy about it.”   
  
Natasha coughed delicately. Tony’s eyes were drawn to her, and he had a sneaking suspicion that she had something to with Rhodey’s change of heart.

“Well, I’m glad you can trust me,” Steve said seriously. “At least, that we can handle this like adults.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever.” Rhodey waved a hand and went back to his food.

They finished the rest of their breakfast in silence. Soon, Natasha left, and Tony and Steve were about to follow, when Rhodey called out. “Wait, Tony.” Tony paused and told Steve that he could go on without him.

Rhodey was frowning as he gestured to Tony come over. “What’s wrong, sweetpea?” Tony asked as he sank into a chair.   
  
“I’m wondering, what exactly  _ do  _ you know about natural birth? Like, how it’s going to be, all that? I just want to make sure you’re prepared and all.”

“My doctor said she’ll go over it with me the next time she visits, which…” Tony pressed a finger against his lip, “should be in a few days. I mean, I’ve heard they have those birthing classes, but obviously that’s not something I can go to.”   
  
“You could try,” Rhodey said. “It’s not impossible. Pepper would just have to bring up a lot of NDAs and vet everyone in the class. And you’d have to figure out how to get there inconspicuously.”

Tony blinked. “She doesn’t  _ have  _ to.”   
  
“But she’ll do it anyway for you.”

“It’s fine, Rhodey. I don’t want to see a video of a live birth anyway. I tried watching one that JARVIS oh-so-helpfully found for me but it didn’t...that didn’t end well.” More specifically, Tony threw up from the graphicness–oh god was it graphic–and started crying and had to have Steve calm him down.

“Right,” Rhodey said slowly, “I can understand that. Well, I just wanted to make sure. You can go off with Steve now.” A distasteful look crossed his face.

Tony attempted to get up, and Rhodey rolled his eyes, helping Tony up. “How do you get out of bed in the morning?”

“It’s a long process,” Tony said, a smile playing at the corner of his mouth. “I woke up at nine yesterday and got ready by two.”   
  
“Bullshit. You must have fallen asleep.”   
  
“I actually did get tired in the middle of getting ready so I went back to sleep,” Tony admitted.

“God, it must suck to be pregnant.”   
  
“Yeah, it kind of does.” Tony’s hand found his stomach, smiling when he felt a kick. “It’s not all bad, though.”

Rhodey raised an eyebrow. “You’ll have to enlighten me some other time.”

* * *

“Hey.” Tony sat down on Steve’s lap facing him, winding his arms around Steve’s neck. “Missed you.”

“You saw me five minutes ago,” Steve said, but he was grinning as he gave Tony a peck on the lips.   
  
“What can I say? You’re addicting,” Tony said, kissing him deeply and pulling back just as Steve started reciprocating. 

Steve’s eyes were half-lidded, and they fell to Tony’s lips. “Tease.” He followed Tony’s mouth and kissed him again, slipping his tongue into Tony’s mouth and leading to an impromptu makeout session. Tony couldn’t help but gasp and groan as Steve took control, hands tight on Tony’s hips, stopping him from rolling them forward.

Tony regretfully pulled apart and the horny, animal part of him preened at how red and swollen Steve’s lips were. “Fuck me,  _ now _ ,” he demanded. Enough waiting. He was actually feeling energized today since the baby hadn’t bothered him too much last night, and a good fuck sounded like the perfect thing. 

Steve’s pupils dilated more than they already had, and he tipped Tony over onto the mattress of his bed. “I thought you’d never ask.”

 

Afterwards, they fell apart, sweaty and still catching their breath. Tony was also trying to recollect the fragments of his mind that had been blown with pleasure. He had never known it could–feel like that. 

He reached for his shirt that had been discarded on the ground with his foot. Apparently, he had gotten so caught up in the moment he was willing to reveal his bare abdomen. Not anymore, though, no matter how much Steve reassured him.

“You enjoy it?” Steve asked.   
  
Tony turned to Steve as he pulled on his shirt, looking at him disbelievingly. “What, me moaning your name and begging you to go harder wasn’t clear enough?”

“I just want to make sure,” Steve said gently. His eyes were a soft blue, like a cloudless sky, and Tony felt another rush of love. How had he been lucky enough to get this man?  

“I loved it,” Tony said honestly. “More than I thought I would.”   
  
Steve smiled, and turned on his phone, scrolling through it. “How different does it feel? From a dick, I mean.”   
  
“Uh, I don’t know how to describe it.” Try as he might, Tony couldn’t explain it. He could  _ feel  _ the difference, but he couldn’t figure out just how to word it. “It was...wetter.” Wow, Tony, like that wasn’t completely obvious.

Steve looked at him from the side of his eye. “Uh, okay. Kind of gross.”   
  
“You weren’t complaining a few minutes ago.” Tony propped his head on Steve’s bare shoulder to see what Steve was looking at. “Instagram? You’re obsessed.”    
  
“Hey, you’re supposed be like, the most futuristic and innovative mind of the century, and you don’t even have Facebook,” Steve said defensively as he liked a photo Natasha had posted. It was her breakfast from this morning. Tony had sat and watched in horror as she wasted ten minutes trying to get the right angle and lighting. 

“Steve. Steve, look at me.” Steve turned his head to stare directly into Tony’s eyes. “Do I look like someone who has time to use social media?”   
  
Steve chuckled and went back to his phone. “You can just hire someone to do it, most celebrities do.”   
  
“Uh, no. If I ever bothered to get a Twitter or whatever I refuse to let someone else write my ‘supposed’ thoughts for me. Unless it was JARVIS,” Tony mused. “But I’m pretty sure you didn’t mean JARVIS.”   
  
“No, though that wouldn’t be too bad.” Steve grinned and held his phone up to Tony. “Smile!”

Tony made a dumbfounded face instead. “Steve? What are you–did you just take my picture?”

“I’m using this for my streaks,” Steve said, and Tony screeched, trying to grab the phone that Steve immediately held up out of his grasp. Then Steve just– _ rolled  _ off of the bed onto the ground and jumped up, holding it in the air triumphantly. “Ha! Sent! Try to get it now, bitch.”   
  
“Delete it!” Tony pushed himself up with a lot of effort, pointing at Steve. Had he not had this giant watermelon for a stomach, he would have just tackled Steve. “Delete that photo now! What if HYDRA sees it?” He didn’t actually care, but Tony being in potential danger was probably the only thing that could convince Steve to delete it.   
  
“Relax, it only lasts for like ten seconds and I only sent it to the Avengers.”   
  
Tony groaned and put his face in his hands. “That’s even worse! They’ll just see me looking all gross and sweaty.”   
  
Steve laughed and shook his head. “You look  _ beautiful _ .”   
  
“Say that again and I’m dumping your patriotic ass.”

“Hey, it’s a fantastic ass.” It was, but Tony wasn’t about to tell him that right now. Steve got a little leer. “Not as fantastic as yours, though.”

“You’re horrible. Just a few weeks ago you couldn’t even say the word sex. What happened to that innocent blushing virgin?”   
  
“First of all,” Steve said, pointing at Tony. “I was far from a virgin by then. If anything, you were the virgin, because you’ve never been fucked like that before. Second of all, it’s a little different talking about sex with the guy you’re crushing on but who you think has no interest in you and the guy you’re dating.”

Tony supposed that made sense. But that did not make him a virgin, he was sure.

Steve huffed and fell on the bed, his weight literally making Tony bounce a few inches into the air. 

Tony shook his head. “You are so lucky I reinforce everything for you guys.”

“And I’m very grateful,” Steve said, pulling Tony over to his chest and curling around him. “I’m sleeping now.”   
  
Tony laughed, planting a hand on Steve’s muscular chest. “How are you even tired?”   
  
“I’m not, but you are, I’m sure. And it’s not like I have anything else to do.” Steve stretched, popping a few joints, and then went back to clutching Tony like a lifeline.

Tony smiled softly, because Steve was right. Why was he so good at figuring Tony out? Especially considering what their relationship was like initially. They’d gone a long way since then.

Steve rubbed a hand on Tony’s belly. Since they had gotten together Steve couldn’t seem to keep his hands off it, which Tony loved. He looked down and poked Tony’s navel. “I love your belly button.”

Tony had just looked in the mirror one day and noticed that his belly button popped, and soon everyone else was noticing, too, and for some reason couldn’t help but point it out. Steve, of course, thought it was adorable, while Tony hated it. “Shut up.”   
  
“Doing that now.” Steve closed his eyes, and after Tony stared at his face for a bit, thinking about how much he loved this man, he did the same.

There was silence for a few minutes where they both dozed, and then Tony said, “Also I never got Facebook because I hate Mark Zuckerberg.”

Steve fell off the bed from how hard he laughed. 

* * *

Tony sat back, watching and laughing at James’ misfortune as he cursed at Mario for shooting a red shell at Peach.

The Avengers had been called out for an emergency involving a giant squid–an actual giant squid that had been mutated to the size of a small village, so it was just him and James–who was technically cleared for missions but had never actually been officially added to the roster–left at the tower.

He didn’t even know what his life was anymore. He was watching the most feared assassin in the world lose to a fictional plumber in a race while eight months pregnant and waiting for his boyfriend to come back from dealing with a giant, mutated squid that was currently attacking Miami. 

Tony watched as James fell off of Rainbow Road and snorted.    
  
“How do you guys play this game!” James shouted. Tony wouldn’t be surprised if he was frothing at the mouth with rage. “It is literally designed to give someone an aneurysm!”

“There’s a reason I don’t play it. Usually it’s Steve or Clint and they get just as pissed.” Tony reached for his tablet. He was finally getting somewhere with his new armor, and he was hoping that JARVIS could synthesize the nanites to test them out in the next few days.

James went back to selecting a new character, and this time, chose Waluigi. “You know, I’m happy for you two.”   
  
Tony looked up from his tablet. “Huh?”   
  
James was entirely focused on the game, so Tony couldn’t see his face. “You and Steve. I’m glad you got together. Steve needed some happiness in his life. You did too.”   
  
“I’m still kind of surprised Steve picked me, instead of you. I thought he cared about you more than anyone else,” Tony admitted. He wholly believed Steve loved him, and refused to get insecure about their relationship, but he did remember how they had mentioned Steve had loved James at one point. 

“Well, I’m sure you remember what happened back when the government was trying to figure out what to do with me.”   
  
Tony nodded, although James wasn’t looking at him.

“But I guess he’s had time to get over it. He already cared for you. He just needed to be reminded of it. And being forced to spend time away from me probably did that.”   
  
Tony had always been curious, but never got the chance to ask. “So you didn’t talk at all until you found out about the baby?”

“No, we’d been in contact, but I made it clear t’ Stevie that I also needed time to myself to recover. I may...I may have knocked his head a few times just so he got that.” James turned to Tony, pausing the game and smirking. “I heard you also put the fear of God in him.”   
  
Tony felt a flush creeping up his neck. “It wasn’t anything like that. I just yelled at him a bit.”   


“Well, whatever you did, it worked.” James unpaused the game and immediately starting cursing out Yoshi for throwing a banana peel. 

“Just stop playing the game,” Tony said as he went back to his tablet.

James shot a red shell at Toad. “Ha! Suffer, you fucking mushroom. No, I’m going to keep playing until I win first place in all the cups,” he said to Tony.    
  
“God help me with stubborn supersoldiers,” Tony muttered. He probably would have done the same, though, if he had the time and the will to risk a heart attack from the sheer frustration.

“Also, what’s the birth plan?”   


Tony set down his tablet, figuring he wasn’t going to get any work done while James was here. Not that he minded, he wasn’t that absorbed in the project yet. “Do you want to know the answer to that question? Do you  _ really  _ want to know?”   
  
“I mean, yeah. I read that that’s something we need to talk about.” James groaned as he finished eighth place. “It’s going to have to be a C-section, isn’t it?”   
  
Tony wondered how he had bothered to tell Clint before James. Clearly, that was an oversight on his part. “Natural birth, and most likely my doctor is coming here instead of doing it at the hospital. Unless there’s some emergency that makes it necessary to go there.”

“Natural? How would natural even work?”

“Think.”

James turned to Tony with a horrified look after he paused Mario Kart. “What?”

Tony wasn’t sure what about natural birth warranted that much disgust, and realized that he had never brought up his…’situation’ with James. “Okay, I think you came to the wrong conclusion. But let’s just say I have the right parts for it.”

James’ eyes flickered down slightly. “Oh.” He gained even more points in Tony’s book when he moved on. “But are you sure you wouldn’t rather go for a–”

Tony, guessing what James was going to say, interrupted. “Do I want someone cutting into me while I’m awake? Not really.” 

Tony hadn’t said it particularly harshly, but there was enough inflection behind the words that James seemed to get the idea and didn’t ask for him to elaborate.

“Okay, that’s fine, too,” James said, going back to his game. “Whatever works for you.”   
  
Tony watched for a while, talking about random things with James, until a pair of hands abruptly covered his eyes. “Ah!"

The music from the game stopped, and then James said, “Oh, it’s just you. Don’t do that. I thought you were an intruder.”

“If I was then JARVIS would have said something,” Steve said. “Did you miss me?” he asked as he removed his hands.

Tony tilted his head back so that he could look at Steve upside down. There were a few smears of dirt on his face, along with a small scratch along his cheekbone. Other than that, he looked completely fine. “Of course I did.” Steve leaned down to kiss him on the forehead, and Tony turned his head so that he was facing Steve right-side up. Steve kissed him again on the lips, and Tony could taste the salty tang of sweat. He wrinkled his nose. “Ew. Go take a shower.”   
  
“Not unless you join me,” Steve said jokingly, wiggling his eyebrows.

Tony was too comfortable to move now, for once. “No. I’m not letting you in the bed tonight if you don’t take one.”

“Fine, I’ll go,” Steve said, doing just that.

“You’re so whipped, Stevie,” James called out as Steve passed him. 

Steve paused midstep. “Anything wrong with that? I love Tony.”   


James looked disgruntled that Steve didn’t fall for the bait. “Whatever, just go.”

Tony waited until Steve was gone, and then said, “It was worth a try,” to James.

“I’ll find something to rile him up eventually,” James said, still annoyed. He stood up and was about to turn the game off when Clint entered the room. 

“Is that Mario Kart? Awesome, I’ll play! Hey, Thor, wanna join?” Clint asked as Thor followed him in along with Bruce. Bruce immediately turned around and walked back out.

Thor made a face. “Is that the vicious bloodbath game?”   
  
“Uh, no, that’s probably Call of Duty or something. You have to race and throw shit at each other to win in Mario Kart.”

“That’s the one I’m talking about,” Thor said seriously. Tony snorted.

Clint looked dumbfounded. “Oh, uh, then yeah, I guess.”   
  
“Okay, I’ll play.”

“Oh, I wanna watch this,” James said, taking a seat next to Tony. 

They shared a look and laughed. “It’s probably going to end with the TV destroyed,” Tony said. 

“I promise, Tony, I won’t break the TV,” Thor said. 

Tony raised an eyebrow. “I’ll hold you to that promise.”

The game started up, with Thor playing as Bowser and Clint playing as Baby Peach. Tony watched in shock as fucking  _ Thor _ , somehow, proved that he was a literal god at everything, including Mario Kart for some reason. He easily took every opportunity to torture Clint and finished every single race in first place.

“Hey, what’s going on?” Steve asked as he entered, hair still damp. “Is Clint being shit at video games again?”   
  
“I’m not bad,” Clint said just as he slipped over another banana peel.

“Thor’s beating his ass,” Tony offered.

Steve furrowed his brow, sitting down on Tony’s other side and wrapping an arm around him. Tony cuddled into his side, laying his head on Steve’s shoulder. “I thought Thor never played this game.”   
  
“This is my first time,” Thor said, once again finishing Rainbow Road in first place. 

“That’s what she said,” Clint muttered on instinct. Everyone rolled their eyes. 

During the next cup, more Avengers came into the common room and it ended up being an impromptu Mario Kart tournament, with everyone aiming to beat Thor. The only one who came close was Natasha, and even she was easily defeated in the end. 

Tony even joined in at one point, trying to show everyone how it was done. He refused to acknowledge the fact that he lost.

“Show us how it’s done, huh?” Steve said into Tony’s ear.

“Shut up. I could beat your ass any day, old man.”   
  
“Really? I’d like to see you try to get off of this couch first.”   
  
Tony looked up into Steve’s eyes and couldn’t help but break into a grin and start laughing, Steve doing the same. 

“Mm, just you wait,” Tony said in between giggles. “Once this baby is out of me I’ll drop kick you out the tower.”

Steve smiled. “Looking forward to that.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on tumblr at https://scaryy-noodles.tumblr.com/ (yes, I know it's empty, I'm too lazy to fix it right now)
> 
> Also I don't know how to add links in the notes without them looking ugly. I've seen people do it but I can't. I am actually an old man.


	11. Month Nine (Part One)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I’m sorry about the wait, I wish I could say that I had an excuse but uh, I really just didn’t want to write. Then school started, and being a senior in IB, I don’t really have a lot of time to do anything. The only reason I have time right now is because the quarter is ending and we don't really have any work. But I hope this extra long chapter makes up for that, and I’ve already finished the next one so you’ll be getting that one within two days. Hopefully, I'll have the chapter after that finished too by then. I was planning on finishing that one before posting this chapter, but I've been holding onto this for weeks so I changed my mind.
> 
> While writing these chapters I started to realize how trashy this story is, especially in terms of Tony. Like, I know I said it wouldn’t be super deep but his characterization is haunting me anyway because I swear, I generally write him better than this, and I’m usually such a huge, pretentious bitch about how he’s written that I feel like a hypocrite right now. (I have Many Opinions™ about his fanon and canon characterization)
> 
> I’ll try to review this story at some point to try and make it better, because right now, I’m not proud of it, especially with the comments I’m getting which made me realize how much I need to improve this.

With about a week left until Tony’s due date, there was a marked difference in the Avengers. All of them stopped going out unless absolutely necessary, choosing to hang around Tony instead, because…? Tony was not entirely sure, but his best guess was that in the case of him going into labor, they would be there to help, although he knew the majority of them would be more of a hindrance than anything. When Tony’s doctor came over to brief him about the birth and help him with figuring out things like holding a baby or changing a diaper, the rest of the Avengers crowded around listening in, to his doctor’s annoyance. Tony had also caught them more than once having mini classes themselves where they practiced with a baby doll. 

It was kind of sweet, in a way, to see how much they cared about Tony and his child–but there was no way he was going to tell them that, and he teased them mercilessly instead. 

Steve and James were on the verge of freaking out as well, seeing as how they were becoming fathers in such a short time. They both had taken to constantly fussing over Tony since he was on bedrest and wasn’t allowed to walk or stand too much, and had even butted heads over it a few times, much to Tony’s chagrin.

It was Tony, however, who was freaking out the most, because as much as he had gotten everything ready for the baby, all his preparation still couldn’t help the fact that soon, he would have a tiny living being to take care of, and love, and protect. It was terrifying to think about, especially since he had doubts about being a parent. The only reason he wasn’t completely stressed about messing up was because he had Steve and James there as actual good role models that may be able to keep him from fucking the kid up too much.

They would both get incredibly pissed if he actually mentioned that to them, but he knew it was true. Tony was scared that, no matter what he did, he’d end up like Dad, because he did have an arguably toxic personality that made it hard for most people to get along with him. Not to mention his borderline–oh, who was he kidding–his alcoholism. He’d been sober for years, which was why “going dry” for the pregnancy really hadn’t been a problem, but there was always the creeping worry that one day, he’d fall back into it. With the thought of a child being around constantly, it was doubly terrifying, considering what Dad had done to him when he was five–he would never forgive himself if he ever passed on his alcohol problems to his child.

He’d opened up a bit about that particular problem to Pepper and Rhodey, who both maintained that it was very unlikely he’d let alcohol hurt his child in any form because he was already so worried about it and knew the consequences of having an alcoholic parent, as well as that if he was so worried about it that everyone had his back and would help him through whatever came up. It... _ did  _ lessen his worries slightly, though it wasn’t something that would ever completely go away.

One thing Tony was happy about, though, was the fact that they’d finally managed to narrow down their list of names. They hadn’t settled on one, but now it was a choice between Edwin–for Jarvis–and Morgan. The only real reason they hadn’t completely decided between the two was because Steve was insisting he wanted the baby to be born before fully deciding, which made absolutely no sense, but Tony and James went along with it. Secretly, he had chosen Edwin.

Tony sighed and leaned back even more into the pillows supporting his back, watching as Luke met Yoda for the first time. Steve immediately paused the movie, turning to Tony. “Are you alright?” Without waiting for an answer, he began adjusting the pillows for the sixth time.

“I’m good, honey,” Tony said. The baby was kicking, more than he had in days, and Tony smiled at the reminder that he was alive and, hopefully, healthy. “You don’t need to keep doing that.”

Steve sat back, looking concerned. “You sure? Are you comfortable?”

“I’m never comfortable,” Tony said honestly, gesturing to his mountain of a stomach, “just uncomfortable and slightly less uncomfortable. And I’m feeling the second right now, so you don’t need to worry.” The baby was still kicking, and he placed a hand on his stomach like he always did now. Tony reminded himself that his due date was only five days away, and his stomach swooped in a paradoxical sense of nervous excitement.   
  
Steve didn’t look convinced, but he nodded and wrapped his arm around Tony so they could continue watching the movie. This was probably the closest they’d gotten to an actual date, since they’d never had one, for obvious reasons–not that Tony really minded. They’d have tons of time to do that later, hopefully. 

Wait, no. They’d have a baby to take care of, and there was no way Tony was going to be the type of parent that just pawned off the child on another caretaker so they could do whatever they wanted, not like Dad. 

Tony shook his head, trying to forget those depressing thoughts about his childhood, and focused on The Empire Strikes Back. He was at the point in his pregnancy where he’d probably fall asleep before the movie even ended, but he’d enjoy it for now.

True to his word, Tony found himself slumping even more into Steve’s side and drifting off with his head on his shoulder just as Leia admitted her love to Han. 

He woke up a few hours later at three or so in the morning to find the movie had been turned off and Steve was wrapped around him sound asleep. Tony realized it was his bladder that had woken him up, and pulled himself out of Steve’s grasp as gently as possible, trying not to wake him.

As he finished his business and crawled back into bed, Tony blinked at the sensation of his belly contracting painlessly–oh, there was a little bit of pain, actually. He’d been through a lot worse, though, so it was nothing he couldn’t deal with. He supposed now that he was due to give birth any day, the Braxton Hicks contractions would start getting stronger.

_ Never mind that _ , he thought, knowing if he continued down this thought process he’d end up panicking and never get back to sleep. Tony laid down on his side and put his head back on Steve’s arm with a sigh. Even dead asleep, Steve instinctively pulled Tony closer against his side, and Tony snuggled into his warmth.

It was around eight when Tony woke up for good, and he groaned at how early it was–well, it was early for him now. 

Steve was on his side watching Tony with a tender smile on his face. “Hey, baby.”

“Mm, I’m not the baby,” Tony mumbled as he turned his face into the pillow. “How long have you been watching me, you creep?”

“Just a few minutes,” Steve said easily.

“Uh huh,” Tony said disbelievingly, resolving to ask JARVIS later.

Steve pulled Tony up by the arm, who pouted at him. “Don’t make that face at me. The team wants to have breakfast together.”   
  
“Well, I want to sleep.”

Steve got up and headed to the bathroom. “You sure you’re not hungry?”   
  
Tony frowned as he felt a cramping in his lower back. “I guess I could eat–ah!” he cried out, mostly in surprise, as the cramping radiated out into his stomach.

Steve immediately rushed over to Tony’s side. “Are you alright? Is it the baby?”   
  
Tony smiled weakly at Steve as the pain stopped. “I’m fine. The Braxton Hicks are just getting stronger, is all.”   
  
“Okay,” Steve said, concern still visible in his blue eyes. “But tell me if anything else happens, alright?”   
  
Tony smiled again, stronger this time. “Will do.” 

Steve exhaled and laid a kiss on Tony’s cheek. “Great. Okay, let’s get you out of bed,” he said, offering Tony a hand and helping him up. Tony waddled into the bathroom with Steve following.   
  
The two of them got ready together, and soon they were heading to the kitchen. Tony insisted on walking, since he didn’t get to do too much of that currently, but halfway through Steve scooped him up into his arms because he had some sort of sixth sense telling him that Tony was tiring. Steve and James, on some occasions had taken to carrying Tony around and Tony wasn’t...really sure how he felt about it. It was nice, sure, but also embarrassing as hell. 

Granted, Tony was used to being embarrassed now, with his condition. Pregnancy really did make you lose your dignity.

“There are the two lovebirds,” Clint remarked, sipping at his coffee, as they walked into the hectic kitchen. 

Sam and Vision were at one of the stoves (because Tony had known one stove would not be enough for the team) flipping pancakes, while Bruce and Thor were frying eggs and bacon on another. Wanda was toasting bread, and Pietro was pouring out orange juice into multiple jugs. The remaining Avengers were clustered around the table.

Both Steve and Tony ignored him, Steve instead placing Tony in a chair and sitting next to him. Natasha handed them both plates, and Pietro set the jugs of juice on the table.

Tony sighed and leaned back into the chair, pressing a hand into his back. “God, my back is killing me.” He felt a slight kick in response, and Tony glared at his stomach. “Don’t give me that attitude, you know it’s your fault.”   
  
“Yeah, but you’re almost there, Tony. It shouldn’t be too long now,” Bruce said, placing a plate of eggs on the table. Immediately, the Avengers attacked it. “My god, you guys are like cavemen. At least let the pregnant person get some.” 

Tony frowned and waited for the Avengers to retreat, and, when the plate was revealed, blinked in surprise at its lack of eggs. Rhodey rolled his eyes and slid one of his eggs into Tony’s plate. 

“That’s what’s driving me insane, I think,” Tony said, poking at the yolk. “So close and yet so far.”

“Well, you’ve made it through most of it,” James said brightly from the other side of Steve. He waved at Tony when he looked at him.

Tony nodded, staring down at his plate and thinking of the smile James had flashed. He had changed a lot from the sad, admittedly pathetic man Tony had met in that Mexican restaurant all those months ago. Steve had told him recently that he’d never seen James smile so much, not in all the years since they’d first reconnected. It was nice to know that he was happier and looking forward to the baby. 

Another contraction came up, and Tony clenched his jaw slightly. They still weren’t particularly painful, not enough for Tony to react strongly, but they were enough to be uncomfortable.

Wanda set down the toast, and Thor and Sam followed with the bacon and pancakes. Bruce eventually returned with more eggs, and the team set about finishing breakfast. With two supersoldiers and a god (and Clint) it wasn’t at all a difficult task, and in no time the plates were completely cleared of food.

Several of the members eventually stood up to clear up the kitchen, and Tony leaped at the chance to help them–not literally, of course. Immediately, several pairs of hands pushed him back into his seat. 

“You don’t need to help, we got this,” James said.

“No, I want to,” Tony insisted, getting back up with effort. “I’m feeling a little antsy. Standing and walking around will help.”   
  
They all looked at Bruce, who shrugged. “He should be fine as long as he doesn’t overexert himself.”   
  
Steve turned back to Tony. “You hear that? The second you feel tired you should rest.”   
  
“Yeah, yeah, mom.” Tony waved a hand carelessly and picked up a few plates to put in the dishwasher. Steve followed him worriedly, and Tony sighed. “You don’t need to follow me. I’m not going to fall over.”

“I’m worried about you, that’s all.”   
  
Before Tony could respond, he felt another contraction, and leaned over slightly in pain, resting his hands on the counter. “Whoo. That one was strong,” he said once the cramping subsided.   
  
James’ eyes popped open. “That–that what? What are you talking about? A contraction? Oh my god, are you in labor?”

“No, it’s just Braxton Hicks,” Tony said.

“Those aren’t supposed to hurt though, are they?” Natasha asked.

Tony shrugged. “My doctor told me that pregnancy is different for everyone, and I figured that since it’s so close to the birth they’re getting stronger.”   
  
“Tony,” Bruce said slowly, “don’t you think that maybe it’s because you’re actually in labor?”

Tony blinked. And then blinked again. His first instinct was to panic, but he pushed that down and took a deep breath. “I guess that makes sense,” he said, voice tight. 

“Oh my god, we need to call the hospital,” James said, face pale. “What if the baby comes out right now?”   
  
“He’s not going to,” Thor said in a longsuffering tone. “He’s most likely in early labor, and that usually lasts hours.”

They all gave him a weird look. “Why do you know that?” Steve asked.

“I took the time to learn about obstetrics after I found out about Tony’s pregnancy,” Thor said casually. “I only know the basics but it’s enough, I think.”   
  
“You...you took the time to learn about obstetrics,” Steve echoed blankly. 

Thor nodded, oblivious to Steve’s disbelief. “I didn’t want to be useless if something went wrong.”   
  
There was silence as they all digested that.

“I mean, we all know Thor’s super knowledgeable about science, so why is this so surprising?” Bruce eventually said.

Tony did enjoy dragging Thor into scientific discussions and experiments. “Never mind that,” he said. “The point is, I’m probably in labor.” God, it was still weird saying that. He was in labor, because he was pregnant with his child. He, Tony Stark, was pregnant. He was going to give birth to a little human being. He knew it was getting repetitive but it was still so unreal to him. “I...my doctor said to call her once I’m in early labor, and to keep her updated.”   
  
“She’s coming here, right?” James asked.

“Yeah, after my water breaks or something. But she said that might take a while, so I should just relax until then.”

“Well, that’s not a problem,” Steve said, pulling Tony into his arms. “We’ll just wait here for now, watch a movie or something. When it progresses, which apparently Thor will know, we can take you to medical.”   
  
“I can check the dilation of your cervix,” Thor offered brightly. “I’ve never done it before, but it shouldn’t be too hard.”

Tony’s smile appeared more as a grimace. “No, that’s...fine, Thunderstruck, I’m good right now.”

Thor was not deterred. “Well, you should also make sure to count the time in between contractions.”   
  
“JARVIS can do that,” Tony said. “He’s probably already been doing it.”   
  
“Indeed I am, Sir. It’s been five minutes and thirty-eight seconds so far.”

“Okay, well, let’s finish cleaning up,” Steve said. “Tony, I know you want to help, but maybe just...sit down for now?”

Tony almost argued, but decided it wasn’t worth the effort. He’d have time to walk around later. He nodded and headed toward the common room. “JARVIS, call Dr. Nkosi for me.”

* * *

Labor was nothing like in the movies, Tony had started to realize. He’d spent the last two hours calmly sitting on the couch watching Return of the Jedi.

Well, he was freaking out internally, but Tony knew he would accomplish nothing if he started panicking for real–especially since everyone else was already running around like idiots trying to prepare for the baby’s impending arrival–so he was attempting to distract himself with a movie. Steve was sitting with him, and James was off doing...something. If he didn’t show up in the next half hour, Tony was going to look for him.

Either way, there was no screaming or crying, and Tony didn’t feel the urge to shout at everyone for no reason at all. He knew there was still a while before he actually had to push but labor really was dramatized on television. 

Occasionally there was a contraction, but they still weren’t very painful. They were speeding up, however, and there were only fifteen minutes between the last two.

Dr. Nkosi had assured him that he didn’t need to do anything until his contractions were about five minutes apart or his water broke–whichever one happened first–and then she would drive over (the tower was only about a ten minute drive from the hospital where she worked, not counting traffic) to check his dilation and deliver the baby.

It was a bit bizarre to Tony to think that most likely, by the end of the day, his baby would no longer be in his stomach but rather in his arms. It cast a bit of an unreal aura to everything, and Tony would have been wondering if he was dreaming had he not been feeling the pain from the contractions.

It was as the movie was close to ending that a sudden jolt of pain, much stronger than any of the others rippled through him. Tony curled over his stomach, crying out. He felt a warm, strong hand rub his back tenderly. The cramp lasted about thirty seconds before letting off, leaving Tony breathing heavily. “Well, they’re getting stronger,” he remarked drily to a concerned Steve.

“Sir, I believe you are in active labor now. That is why the contraction was longer and more painful. It was also thirteen minutes and sixteen seconds since the last one,” JARVIS said.

“Oh, that’s great,” Tony said airily, still catching his breath. 

Steve smiled weakly, still rubbing Tony’s back. “Well, we’re getting there.” Tony could see that he was on the verge of panic but was holding it together, probably for Tony’s sake. God, Tony loved him. He knew he’d said it before but how did he land someone like Steve Rogers? Someone so perfect, so kind.

JARVIS brought Tony out of his thoughts. “Sir, Mr. Parker is calling you.”   
  
Tony shared a look with Steve, and then shrugged. “Okay, answer him. Video’s fine.”

A hologram popped up in front of them with Peter’s face on it. “Hey, Mr. Stark!” he exclaimed, waving. His eyes strayed to the side. “Oh, hi, Captain Rogers! Sorry, I didn’t see you there.”   
  
“It’s fine, kid,” Steve said.

“Is there something you need, Peter?” Tony asked in concern. He looked to the side for a second when Steve got up and walked away, probably to give them some privacy.

Peter shook his head and shifted on his couch. “Nah, just wanted to check in on you. Oh! Also, can I come over to the tower today? Are you free?”

Tony winced. “Sorry, kid. Not...really. I’m, uh, I’m in labor,” he said awkwardly, not sure what the protocol was for breaking news like that.   
  
Peter blinked, staring at him.  “Wait, what?”   


“I’m in labor,” Tony repeated. “You can come over later,” and wasn’t that a strange thought, that there would be a point very soon where his pregnancy and labor ended. “I mean, I guess you could come now, but I’ll be a bit preoccupied.”   
  
“You–you don’t seem like it,” Peter said, still staring with wide eyes. “You’re just...sitting there.”

“It’s still early.” Tony smiled sardonically. “Don’t worry about that.”

“Oh–oh my god, you’re having the baby?” Peter squeaked. “I’m going to be a brother?”   
  
“Aw, Pete, I never knew you felt like that,” Tony only half-joked. His heart melted knowing how Peter viewed his kid, knowing he could trust his baby’s life with this goofy and kind hearted teen.

Peter grinned widely. “Of course I do! He’s the closest thing I’ll ever have to a younger sibling!”   
  
Tony didn’t often get very emotional with Peter, it was only once he got pregnant that he got used to showing a more vulnerable side to the kid. As much as he cared for Peter, he had no relation to Tony so he felt a bit awkward showing any attachment, but right now he couldn’t help but say, “I’m sure you’ll be the best big brother there is.”

“Thank you, Mr. Stark! I sure hope so,” Peter said. “Oh, I guess I should hang up now. I’m sure you’re, uh,  _ busy  _ right now. But good luck with that. I know you can you do it.”   
  
Strangely enough, with that simple sentence Tony felt slightly calmer and more confident, like he really  _ could _ manage this labor and everything that came with it. “Thanks,” he said, making sure to put all his gratitude in that word. “I’ll call you later, after the baby’s born. Bye, kid.”   
  
“Bye, Mr. Stark.” Peter waved again, and the screen closed. 

Tony sat there for a few minutes, thinking about Peter and how this completely random kid from Queens had wormed his way into his heart, the same way his own biological child had. He found it a bit easier to admit that he did view Peter as a sort of son now that he had his own kid on the way, and was, technically, a parent. 

He glanced at the TV and realized JARVIS must have paused the movie when Peter called. He was about to ask JARVIS to unpause it when he heard Steve’s voice.

“That was your intern, right?” he asked as he curled up next to Tony on the couch. 

“Huh? Oh, yeah, that was him.”   
  
Steve nodded, draping one arm over Tony’s shoulders. “You know, I’ve always kind of wondered why you give him so much special attention, considering he’s just one of your interns.”

“I pay attention to my other interns,” Tony said, pretending to be offended, although he  _ was _ telling the truth. He did actually pay attention to all of his interns, but he knew how weird it would seem to someone who didn’t know Peter’s identity that he seemingly was the closest with him. He’d already heard a few disgusting rumors, which he’d immediately shut down.

Steve inhaled and rolled his eyes. “I know he’s Spider-Man.”

Tony sighed. He wasn’t surprised. The kid was horrible at keeping secrets. He was pretty certain everyone actually knew Peter was Spider-Man and was just pretending to be oblivious. “Yeah, I figured it was only a matter of time, even with the voice modulator.”

“He’s a good kid,” Steve said. “I mean, I guess I’m a little iffy about him going out every night and fighting criminals now that I know how young he really is–”   
  
“Imagine how I feel,” Tony mumbled.

“–but his heart is in the right place, and you’re clearly trying to keep him safe.”

Tony smiled and opened his mouth to respond, but at that moment the Avengers alarm went off and he startled.

Steve’s eyes widened as he looked at Tony. “Dammit, not now,” he whispered. Louder, he said, “JARVIS, what’s the problem?”

“It seems that there are giant robots attacking Orlando.”

Steve cringed. “Uh, it’s just...Florida?” he said desperately, obviously clinging on to any excuse he had to stay with Tony.

Tony couldn’t help but snort a laugh and immediately felt horrible for that. “You still have to go, jerkass.”

“The rest of them can go,” Steve started.

“No, you’re the leader, you need to be there.” Tony turned so that he was fully facing Steve, holding his face with both hands. “Honey, look at me.” Sky blue eyes looked up at his own, staring so deeply at them that Tony wondered if he was trying to see his soul. “I’ll be fine. James’ll be with me, and you’ll probably be done before the baby actually gets here, okay?”   
  
Steve nodded slowly, still staring intently at Tony. “Still, someone else should stay with you. We don’t need the  _ entire  _ team.”   
  
“That’s fine with me,” Tony said, “as long as you go out there and kick some metal ass.”

Steve leaned forward until his forehead was pressed against Tony’s. His eyes were closed, and he was breathing deeply. “Okay, we’ll be fine.” He kissed Tony, murmuring, “I love you,” against his lips.   
  
“Love you, too. Stay safe,” Tony said as Steve stood up to change into his suit. They’d wasted enough time.

* * *

Only three minutes later, they were all gathered in the common room, ready to head off. Tony had had another contraction within that time, coming down to about twelve and a half minutes in between.

“Before we do anything,” Steve said in his captain voice, “I need someone to stay with Bucky and Tony, since he’s in labor. I don’t feel comfortable leaving them all on their own.”   
  
Natasha immediately stepped forward. “I’ll do it.” After a pause, she said, in a casual tone, “It’s not like I’ll be much use against a bunch of giant robots anyway.”

Tony smiled at her attempt to hide how much she cared. 

“Thanks, Nat,” Steve said with a grateful smile.

“I’ll stay, too,” Thor said, to Tony’s shock. Then he realized what it was about.

“Thor, sorry, big guy, but I really don’t need your medical experti–”   
  
“No, not because of that.” Thor’s brow was furrowed, and his normally bright eyes dark. “There’s something...I want to make sure nothing happens here.”   


Tony narrowed his eyes in confusion. 

Steve nodded slowly at that, looking worried. He opened his mouth, probably to ask Thor to elaborate. Then he straightened, clearing his face of any emotion–becoming Captain America and leaving behind Steve Rogers. “We’ll manage without you, Thor.” He turned towards Tony, mouthed ‘I love you’, and then left the room to head to the landing pad, the rest of the team following. They all wished Tony luck as they passed.

“Hey,” Clint said to James. “Take care of him, alright? He needs it, no matter what he says.” Then, before Tony could say anything about that, he fled the room.

Rhodey pulled Tony into a hug, though it was slightly uncomfortable with the War Machine armor. “My godson better wait for me to finish with this before showing up.”

“Never said anything about you being godfather,” Tony said, although he had mentally chosen Rhodey since he had first found out about the pregnancy.

Rhodey raised a doubtful eyebrow at that, clomping out of the room behind the others.

The team was going in a quinjet since they really had no other choice. There was a stealth mode, thank god, so hopefully they could keep from being seen that way.

“So, what was that about?” Tony asked Thor. “What’s up?”

“I–I don’t know,” Thor said, crossing his huge arms. “It’s–suspicious.”

“What, giant robots in Florida?” Tony asked. “Look, that’s not even in the top fifty of weirdest things to come out of that state.”

“No, I mean that–” Thor stopped and stared at Tony. “What else has happened in Florida?”

“You really, really don’t want to know.”

Thor only looked more curious.

James stepped closer, not looking amused. “Never mind that, what’s suspicious?”

“That this is happening now, while Tony is in labor.” There was a pause. “But maybe I’m just too suspicious because I grew up with Loki.”   
  
Natasha shook her head. “The three of us–” she gestured between Tony, James, and herself, “–are literally the most paranoid members of the team, so we can’t judge. You’re right, though. I feel...wrong about this, too.” 

Tony had to admit it was a little strange, and, like Thor, he didn’t know why, because it wasn’t as though giant robots were out of the ordinary (that sentence was  _ full  _ of irony). He was just getting vibes that told him something was off. He wondered if letting the entire team go off was a mistake. It probably was.

James pulled Tony against his side. “We can protect him if anything happens, yeah? We should be enough.”

Thor and Natasha nodded.

“Tony,” James said, and Tony looked up at him, “I swear, I’ll protect you and the baby with my life. No matter what happens.”

Natasha stepped forward, and so did Thor. “We  _ all  _ will.”   
  
Tony cringed. He was touched, of course he was, but that was a bit extreme, he thought. “Can we not go that far? I don’t want any of you, uh,  _ dying _ . Especially because of me.”   
  
“Nope,” Natasha said, glaring at him and taking his arm, plastering herself to his other side. “We’re willing to take the risk. We all...care about you and your baby, despite what you may think.”

Thor came close as well, landing a large, comforting hand on Tony’s shoulder. “Tony, never blame yourself for whatever happens. It’s our choice to help you.”

Tony opened his mouth, searching for the words to respond but finding himself speechless. His eyes were getting a bit damp, and Tony blinked and turned his head away from Natasha, nodding. “Okay,” he whispered.

“Now,” Natasha said crisply, not letting go of Tony’s arm and herding him in the direction of the elevator, “let’s get you to the medical floor.” Behind them, Thor and James followed.

An entire floor in the tower was taken up for a state-of-the-art medical wing, and was used by Avengers and SI workers alike. One half of the floor was dedicated to operating rooms (mostly used by the Avengers), while the remaining half was for recovery and minor injuries. There would probably be a handful of his employees there already, but Tony could handle them seeing him.   


The floor itself had only glass walls–though they could be blacked out for privacy if the patient wanted, or if they were unconscious–so Tony could see several employees being treated. There were three of his scientists with minor burns and soot on their faces, clearly from a small explosion. He’d be more worried if they didn’t have at least four explosions a week. Doctors and nurses were milling around, busy with their work.

He saw Phoebe from legal and Lívia from R&D waiting presumably for their friend or family member, along with Phoebe’s daughter, Emma. Their heads immediately swiveled in his direction when he stepped onto the floor.

“Mr. Tony!” Emma squealed, running to him and hugging his legs. “I missed you!”

Tony laughed. “I did, too.” He leaned forward slightly and patted her head, unable to bend down and hug her back.

She pulled back, but still had one leg grabbing onto his pants leg. “Are you a mommy?”

Tony didn’t realize what she had said for a few seconds, and that was all the time needed for her to continue. “Because my mommy, she, she had my baby brother in her tummy and she looked like you and I think you have a baby in your tummy, and, and also, I think you’re a good mommy and I would like to see your baby.”

Phoebe laughed and stood up, scooping up Emma and bouncing her. “Let’s not bother him, Emma.” She turned to Tony, looking incredibly confused. “Mr, Stark, what–since when have you been here?” Her eyes never strayed from his face, which Tony was grateful for.

Tony retreated so that he was partially behind Thor. He was more fine with his employees seeing him in all his nine-months-pregnant glory compared to anyone else, but he still felt a bit uncomfortable. “Uh, April-ish.”   
  
“Wait, what? And we haven’t seen you once?” Lívia asked.    
  
Tony shrugged. “We’ve been trying to hide since the whole thing with HYDRA.”   
  
They nodded in understanding. “I heard about that. Well, it’s nice to see you again,” Phoebe said. “Emma’s been asking for you for weeks.”

Emma nodded eagerly. “Yeah! Where have you been, Mr. Tony?!”

Tony’s heart twinged in guilt. He hadn’t been able to visit the tower’s daycare since he started showing. “Sorry about that. I’ve been a bit...busy.”

“That’s an understatement,” Natasha muttered to herself.

“Busy?” Emma echoed. “With what?”   
  
“You said it yourself, Emma. There’s a…baby in my tummy, so I’ve been busy taking care of him.” Tony furrowed his brow. Did that even make sense?

Apparently, in child logic, it did. “Oh, okay!” Emma said, swinging her feet. 

“So, uh, what brings you here?” Lívia asked. “Everything’s fine with you and the baby, right?” There was no sign of disgust or judgment in her tone, and Tony smiled at the fact that he had the best employees ever.

“Oh, I’m just in labor,” he said as though he was remarking on the weather. As if to prove his point, his belly cramped again, and he gasped, grabbing onto Thor and pressing his forehead against Thor’s shoulder. Thor awkwardly rubbed his stomach from the position they were in.

It was about forty-five seconds before the pain finally stopped, and when he looked up, he saw Phoebe and Lívia staring at him in shock. Emma just looked confused. 

“Are you okay, Mr. Tony? Do you have a boo boo?”

Tony forced a smile. “No, the baby is just ready to come out.”   
  
Emma gasped. “The baby’s coming out? Can I see? Please, can I see?!”

Phoebe cleared her throat, setting down Emma. “Maybe later, sweetheart.” She approached Tony. “Well, I’m not going to lie and say it’s not that bad. I think I nearly strangled my wife at one point during Emma’s birth. But it’s worth it in the end.” She hugged Tony, and when she pulled back, hands still on his shoulders, she said, “Good luck. Seriously. You’ll need it.”

Tony smiled. “Thanks.”   
  
When he glanced at Lívia, she grinned and gave him a thumbs up. “You can do it, Mr. Stark. I believe in you.”   
  
Tony sent her a thumbs up back, and James nudged his side. “Come on, Tony,” he said. “Let’s get you in one of the rooms.”

Tony wondered if he should start a small maternity ward on the floor. He was sure some of his pregnant workers would appreciate it if they had a place to deliver their baby without having to worry about incredibly high medical costs. Why hadn’t he thought of that before, actually?

Or maybe he should just expand the medical branch and start an actual hospital. He’d have to run that by Pepper at some point.

Tony nodded at the two women, and then led Thor, James, and Natasha towards an empty room. One nurse, Marcus, stopped in his tracks when he spotted them. “Mr. Stark? What are you doing here? Is there something wrong with the baby?” 

Okay, Tony was starting to wonder why everyone was acting as though it was normal that he was pregnant. He knew they’d known for months now, but it was one thing to hear about it and then see it in person. “Just waiting for my OB/GYN to come.”   
  
“He’s in labor,” Natasha explained. 

Tony rolled his eyes and elbowed her.

Marcus nodded, not looking alarmed. But that was normal for medical professionals so Tony didn’t say anything. “Oh, so you’re just going in one of the rooms. Do you need anyone’s help until then?”   
  
Tony spoke before any of them could say anything else. “No, I’ll be fine. Just need a room.” He smiled and waved at Marcus and then entered his room. “JARVIS, black the walls,” he said as Thor, Natasha, and James followed him in. The walls turned black, and Tony sat down on the bed. James and Thor took the chairs, and Natasha sat down next to him on the bed. “Are you really just going to stay here the entire time?”

“We promised Steve we’d stay with you,” Natasha said, giving him a dirty look, “and besides, we just went over how we’re going to protect you.”

Tony nodded, sat back against the pillows, and pulled out his phone. For the next ten or so minutes he checked his emails–although he wasn’t required to go to any board meetings he still had dull paperwork and messages to go through. He’d had another contraction in that time, and Tony counted about seven minutes in between. Almost time to call his doctor. He should probably do that, actually. Just in case.

Another contraction ripped through him before he could call her, and he grabbed James’ flesh hand without thinking, squeezing it tightly until the pain ended.

“That’s quite a grip you’ve got there,” James teased. Tony let go of it as though he had been burned. 

“Oh, God, sorry, I didn’t mean to–”   
  
“No, no you’re fine, I was just joking.” James hesitated for a second, then smiled. “You can keep holding it if you want.”   
  
Tony wouldn’t mind that. He really wouldn’t. James’ presence was just as comforting as Steve these days, and Tony was going to take all the support he could get. But… “I have to call my doctor first. JARVIS, could you do that?”

There was no response. 

Tony’s brow furrowed. Natasha looked up from her own phone. “JARVIS, this really isn’t the time to give me the silent treatment. Just call her, okay?”

“Tony–” Thor started.

They all froze as the lights abruptly shut down, replaced by red emergency alarms signaling there was something wrong. “JARVIS?” Tony asked hesitantly. Again, no response. His look of horror was reflected in everyone else’s faces. 

Before they could react to that, the sound of screaming started outside their room. Natasha shot up and pulled open the door, looking outside. Tony had no idea what was going on but he could guess that it had something to do with HYDRA.

“Grab Tony and run!” Natasha shrieked at James, grabbing a pair of guns from somewhere on her body–Tony had long since given up on trying to figure out from where–and tossing one at James. 

James scooped Tony up in a bridal carry before he could protest, and ran past Natasha away from–yep, they were HYDRA agents. Tony’s breath caught in his throat, thinking of all the injured and sick civilians caught in the crossfire. Since this was still a company workplace, there was no one in critical condition but that didn’t mean they were in any less danger.

“What’s the safest place in this damn tower?” James demanded as he ran through the medical floor. Tony hadn’t looked over James’ shoulder, but he was pretty certain that there were several HYDRA agents tailing them. The only reason they weren’t shooting was probably because they didn’t want any harm to come to Tony.    
  
“Wherever there aren’t HYDRA agents? The entire tower is supposed to be safe, goddammit!”

“Never mind that, just tell me a place!” James turned to the left, running for the door to the stairwell. Hopefully there weren’t any straggling agents there. 

Tony thought of his latest upgrade to the armor. “My–my lab, that’s floor seventy-nine, I have some stuff I need.”

James wrenched open the door, and lo and behold, there were HYDRA agents heading up the stairs. 

“Thirteen floors,” James whispered to himself. “Tony, forgive me for this.” Before Tony could ask what he meant, he changed his grip on Tony so he was clutching him with one arm, punched the nearest goon, and jumped over the rail into the abyss below. Tony let out a loud scream as they fell, convinced James had gone crazy and that this was the moment they died. 

He felt a sudden jolt as the fall stopped, shocking him enough that it cut off his screaming. He looked up and saw that James had grabbed the railing, and the metal had deformed under his hand. Tony started hyperventilating as they hung there, James’ arm the only thing keeping them from falling. Tony had designed the railing to withstand a lot, as he did with everything in the tower, but surely it couldn’t take this much weight? 

“Tony, come on, don’t panic.” James grunted as he pulled himself closer. “You’re in labor, you can’t afford to panic now. Grab the railing, I’ll help you up.”   
  
Tony, still struggling for breath and pushing back tears, gripped the railing as though it were a lifeline–which it basically was. He felt a hand pushing him upwards, supporting his considerable weight, and Tony brought his leg up as high as he could, swinging it over the railing and straddling it for a moment. Tony tipped over as he attempted to bring up his other leg, falling hard on his side on the ground.

“You okay?” James asked as he pulled himself up effortlessly. Tony watched in envy. He had never felt more like a beached whale than now.

“I’m–I’m fine,” Tony said, pushing himself to his knees.

“Good.” James picked Tony back up, which he was secretly grateful for, because he didn’t think he could even stand anymore after that bit of effort. James opened the door and went straight for Tony’s workshop, setting Tony down and ramming his metal shoulder through the glass because the door wouldn’t unlock. When the glass shattered, he picked Tony back up and took him through the newly created entrance to where there were no glass shards lying around. “What do you need?” he asked, letting Tony down again.

Tony immediately went over to the compartment containing the arc reactor with nanites, and detached his own reactor from his chest. Accustomed to it by this point, he didn’t even wince at the fact that it was out of his chest for a second.

“Woah, woah, woah, what the hell are you doing?” James cried. 

Without missing a beat, Tony inserted the new arc reactor, locking it into place and summoning the nanites to spread over his arms.

“Holy shit, what is that?”   
  
“Nanoparticles,” Tony said, studying the gauntlets and repeatedly closing and opening his hands. “I’ve never actually tested them out before, but I figure it should be fine, right?”

“Uh…”

Tony didn’t wait for a response. “Now, come on, we don’t have time.” The nanites retreated back into the reactor, and he nodded at the entrance. “I’ll just take this,” he swiped the arc reactor he had just removed, “and I can use it to power the elevator. Apparently, HYDRA also took out the emergency backup power, though I would try and bring JARVIS back online if it didn’t take too long. ”   
  
James nodded and led him to the elevator. “Where are we going?”

“Containment room. It was built to keep whatever is in it–usually Hulk–in, but also to keep whatever’s outside outside. Pull this off.” Tony gestured at the control panel. James pried the casing off, and Tony peered into the mess of wires

James watched worriedly. “Are you–are you sure you should do this?”   
  
“Chill, James, I know what I’m doing. I’m not going to get shocked.” Tony fiddled with the arc reactor and wires, and the lights for the elevator began glowing. “There we go.” Almost immediately, the elevator arrived, the doors opening to let them in. Tony pressed the button for floor ninety-three, and they were off, nearly at the speed JARVIS would have taken them.    
  
James stood in front of the doors with his gun ready, just in case there were any agents. “Ugh, I hate pistols,” he said, frowning at it. The doors opened, and the agents in the room turned to the elevator. There was a split second where the two parties stared at each other, and then James ran out of the elevator, shooting several of the goons right in the head. “Tony, leave! I’ll hold them off!” 

Tony pressed the button to close the doors, and leaned his back against the wall, on the verge of hyperventilating once again. He groaned as another contraction hit him, doubling over at this one’s intensity. He panted as the pain ended, trying to catch his breath. Tony looked down then, not exactly sure what possessed him to do so, and noticed a trickle of liquid between his legs. There was a bizarre feeling, of a burst of–pressure, and clear liquid tinged with a bit of red gushed down onto the ground.

Tony sank down, mind completely blank and not even caring that his clothes were getting wetter than they already were.  _ No _ ... _ Not now, baby, please, not now _ . He could hear the sounds of fighting, which at least meant James was still okay.

Tony had no idea what he should do, if he should leave or stay. The agents had probably invaded every floor by now, JARVIS was offline, James was fighting HYDRA agents right outside, and he had no idea what had happened to Natasha or Thor. He was essentially trapped here until– _ something  _ happened. He hoped James’ll beat the agents soon–because he knew there was no way James could be defeated by a bunch of second-rate HYDRA goons.

Tony blinked as the light for the floor his workshop was on turned on and elevator started moving. Apparently they had gotten smart and called the elevator to them. Tony had a moment of panic where his mind completely blanked, but then he took a deep breath. He could try and get off on another floor, but then he didn’t know what floors the agents were on. 

If he was prepared for it, at least, maybe he had a chance at fighting back–even while heavily pregnant and in labor. Tony had been in worse odds, though, which pretty much said everything about the life he led.

With what little strength he had left, he pushed himself up. Tony breathed heavily as he waited for the elevator to take him back down, gathering his energy. Baby was squirming, slightly, and Tony patted his stomach. “You chose the worst possible time to come out. Though I should have figured you’d decide to make an entrance.”

Tony readied his gauntlets as the doors opened, holding his arms straight in front of him. He stepped out and stared at the agents–who looked surprised at the gauntlets–tilting his head.

“What, you thought that just because I was pregnant I can’t fight anymore?” Tony didn’t give them a second to respond, transforming the gauntlets into repulsor cannons and blasting them straight at the agents. 

They all dove to the side, though a few unlucky ones were hit. Tony smirked. He knew no one was brave enough to actually shoot back at him, so he basically had a free pass to do whatever the hell he wanted.

One of the agents clearly had no sense of self-preservation and ran straight at him, only to get a repulsor blast straight to the chest. 

The elevator dinged behind him, and Tony turned to see another agent come at him. Tony transformed the cannon into what was essentially a large hammer and smacked the guy in the face with it. He formed a shield just in time to block another guy’s attempt to grab him from behind and shot the agent with his other hand. 

“I’m still Iron Man, and I’m still beating your asses, even when pregnant,” he said, looking around the workshop. There were about ten of the guys lying on the ground unconscious, and only a few more remaining. “Give up.”

“Hail HYDRA,” one of them said, like a broken record, and shot him with a blaster. Tony immediately held the shield up in front of him, letting it block the blast. Huh. Maybe there was one brave enough. 

Tony whipped his head around at a loud shout and gasped as one of the walls blew apart, instinctively turning around to block the rubble from hitting his stomach.  _ Stupid. _ Why didn’t he just use the shield? 

Unfortunately, it distracted him enough that the nanites fell apart and retreated back in the arc reactor–that was an oversight Tony was going to have to fix–giving one of the agents a second to grab him and inject something into his neck. Tony let out a grunt, hands attempting to push away whatever was pricking his neck. His vision was getting blurry, and Tony was struggling to walk as they dragged him to the stairs. By the time they reached it, he had blacked out.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Follow me on Tumblr at scaryy-noodles (I still haven't figured out how to post links)


	12. Month Nine (Part Two)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are some trigger warnings for this chapter. 
> 
> \- Referenced rape/non-con (nothing actually happens, but the possibility of it is brought up)  
> \- Tony is also violated by a guy checking the dilation of his cervix, while Tony is very clear in that he doesn’t want it, and once it’s while he’s unconscious. The process itself is not at all detailed, however.  
> \- A kind of graphic birth (It’s actually not bad imo but it is longer than just a paragraph, so, uh, just in case)  
> \- Violence that’s around the level of the movies
> 
> So if any of these seem like triggers, I would suggest reading with caution.

Tony woke up to the feeling of burning and pain in his heel and thigh. He let out a low moan, mind drowsy as he tried to comprehend what was going on. 

There were voices, but Tony couldn’t discern the words through the fog in his head. He was lying on what seemed to be a bed, but it was not as soft as his. Had he fallen asleep on the couch? That wasn’t right. Steve would have taken him to bed. Where was Steve?

He forced his eyes open, trying to get them to focus as he stared up at the blurry figures in front of him. Steve? Tony was on his back, which was bad, it was really bad, both for his back and for his chest. The pain in his foot and leg went back into focus, and Tony gasped.

“Ste...ve,” Tony whispered, tears leaking out of his eyes. He wanted Steve.

One of the blurry figures leaned closer, enough that Tony could make out his features–he wasn’t anyone Tony had ever seen before. He said something, but Tony couldn’t make out the words. Tony opened his mouth, attempting to speak but only managing a weak mumble. “Wha…”

“–ark? Stark, can you hear me?” The words were drowned out at times, but Tony could hear the majority of it.

Tony turned his head, mind still fuzzy and confused, but the dull pain in his thigh and heel was quickly clearing his head. “Y–ye…s...”

The figure leaned back and spoke to the other one. “Okay, he’s aware enough.”

Still dazed, Tony reached down toward his thigh, trying to figure out what was wrong with it, and was met with what felt like gauze.

The man grabbed his hand and pulled it away. “Okay, let’s not touch that.” And then, “I had to get the trackers out of you somehow.”

Tony lifted his head. The last of the fog lifted away (that drug was metabolized  _ very _ quickly), and his vision came into sharp focus. One of the men, the one who hadn’t spoken so far, was decked in tactical gear, and–Tony remembered the events that had led to this point: HYDRA infiltrating the tower, getting separated from James, fighting back with his new armor but getting drugged anyway.

He also remembered that just before they got him, his nanites had retreated into the arc reactor, and they were still there.

He frowned, recalling the man had said something about his trackers. Judging by the pain in his foot and thigh, they had found both. Usually, when he was abducted, his kidnappers only bothered to find one and then assumed that was it. Whoever these HYDRA agents were, they were smart enough to find both. And that was...alarming. Clearly, they had someone competent in charge for once.

Tony reminded himself of the nanites. He could get himself out of this situation. He just had to wait for the right time, and possibly, gain some intel first. Now that he was looking around, it was clear that he was in a van with a setup that resembled an ambulance’s. His clothes were gone, replaced with what looked like a hospital maternity gown. That was kind of creepy.

He was lying on a stretcher with several monitors displaying his vitals as well as information about the baby around him. There was a pulse oximeter on his index finger, an–the baby.

He was in labor. His water had broken god knows how long ago.

“How long has it been?” he asked. He was stuck on his back like a sad little turtle but he could at least get some answers. That was, if the agents were willing to tell him.

The men turned towards him. “I see the drug has worn off completely,” the doctor–was he a doctor? He seemed like one–said. “Four hours, give or take.” His tone was completely conversational, as though he hadn’t just kidnapped Tony and presumably performed an invasive surgery.

Tony wasn’t in the mood for light conversation. He just wanted answers. “When did you find the trackers?”

“Uh, not too long after we first got you. We were scanning your body to make sure everything was fine, which was when we noticed them.”

Well, they were a talkative bunch. Clearly they figured answering Tony’s questions was not a problem. And the doctor had said meant the Avengers probably wouldn’t have had a chance to check his location, depending on what these agents considered “not too long.” “Make sure everything was fine?”   
  
“You’re pregnant and in labor,” the doctor said patiently. “The drug was designed to not harm you or the fetus but we didn’t know what would happen since you happened to be in labor.”   
  
Tony rolled his eyes. Even if there were a few competent members now, complete idiots still made up the majority of HYDRA. Of course they would go to all this effort to try and get to his baby and then potentially fuck it all up. “And?”   
  
“Everything seems fine.” The doctor gestured at the monitors which showed stable vitals. “The drug has mostly metabolized from your body, so you should start experiencing contractions again in a few minutes, but last I checked you’re still in the first stage of labor. We were–”   
  
“How and when did you check that?” Tony asked, making a face.

The doctor looked at him blankly. “I checked the dilation of your cervix while you were unconscious. It’s seven centimeters,” he offered, as Tony was going to thank him for that bit of information.

Clearly, these guys had no sense of privacy. Tony shivered, feeling violated. But what else could he expect? They were part of a Nazi organization. 

“We were planning on a c-section at the base,” the doctor continued, “but there’s a chance I’ll have to deliver it here.”

Tony channeled his “you’re a fucking idiot” look he reserved for the likes of Justin Hammer. “You’re going to perform a c-section. In here.”

The doctor laughed, but not in a mocking way, surprisingly enough. More like he was actually amused by the thought. “No, it’ll be a normal birth. I’m not performing a c-section in a moving van. That’s ridiculous and would probably kill you.”   
  
Well, he wasn’t wrong. Tony frowned. He was getting information, but there were some more pertinent things that needed to be answered. He knew from experience that villains always loved to share their plans once they believed they had the advantage. They just needed to be asked the right question. “You just need my–the baby, don’t you? I don’t matter.”   
  
The other man spoke up for the first time. “Actually, no. See, we were interested in you and the child since we discovered your pregnancy.” Bingo. 

“When we realized the Winter Soldier was the father, it only made HYDRA want the child more because it might have the serum. That, coupled with the fact that it should have your intelligence, will make it the perfect candidate for the next generation of Winter Soldiers.”

Tony felt sick at the thought of them using his precious baby like that, but he hid his fear and stared up at the agents determinedly. He needed to continue playing this game and find out all the information he could. “How did–” he gasped as a contraction, more painful than any of the others, rippled through him. 

The doctor smiled. “There’s the contractions.”

“How...did you...know James was...the father?” Tony choked out through the cramping. 

Non-doctor crossed his arms. “Barnes? He started killing several of our agents when for the last few years he’d completely ignored us. We also noticed that he had moved in with the rest of you around the same time we discovered your pregnancy. It wasn’t hard to draw conclusions.”   
  
Tony let out a breath as the contraction ended. It made sense. “So, why exactly are you keeping me alive?” It was going to be a mistake on their part, but for reasons that should be obvious Tony couldn’t tell them that.   
  
“You have all the necessary equipment to be pregnant.” The doctor shrugged. “Why waste that? We can keep you for more children.”

Ew. Tony was completely unsurprised by their plan for him, though. “Well, how are you going to get a baby with the serum when you don’t even have Ja–Barnes?”

“We don’t need Barnes, Stark,” Non-doctor said. “Do you seriously think he’s the only Winter Soldier? We have others, more willing ones, that we have no problem breeding you with.”

And now they were talking about him getting raped. Wonderful. “Well, this has been enlightening, gentlemen. It’s nice to know what exactly my future entails.”

Either they didn’t understand the sarcasm, or they were just playing along. “My pleasure,” the doctor said.

They went back to talking in low tones, and Tony looked around the van again for a few minutes. They hadn’t even bothered restraining him, so clearly they expected that he wouldn’t be able to put up a fight. Which was fair enough; if it weren’t for the nanites Tony would have to wait to be saved.

But they did have some guns. Probably in the case of the Avengers coming, because HYDRA had made it very clear they didn’t want to harm or kill him. Well, harm him more than what was necessary.

He could already feel another contraction coming on, and he turned onto his side, curling up around his belly and trying not to scream. That was going to be a problem. The contractions were about, what, five minutes apart now? Soon he wouldn’t even be able to think through them. He definitely needed to get rid of the agents before it went too far.

Tony distracted himself by looking around the van, searching for any weak points or something that he could use. He had no idea where he was, but since Tony knew they had been driving for roughly four hours that significantly decreased the amount of possible places they could be. By his estimation, they were either in upstate New York or the states immediately surrounding it. Or, if they weren’t swamped by traffic, Canada, but that was highly unlikely.

He also knew his best bet at escaping would be when they were approaching a town. Tony had no idea how he would be able to tell, so there was no helping that, but right now he was planning on knocking all of the agents out, throwing them out the van because he didn’t want to straight up kill them (but he didn’t want the possibility of them waking up as well), and taking whatever form of communication they had to reach out to the Avengers. He’d try driving but he was a bit scared of doing that while in labor.

Tony had been through worse pain, though. He was sure he could focus and swallow down the pain given how dire his situation was.

He gasped at another contraction. That one had come in three minutes, fourteen seconds–they were definitely speeding up.

The doctor turned back to Tony. “Okay, I’m going to check your dilation again.”

“No thanks.” Tony did not want this creepy HYDRA guy poking around down there. 

He smiled patronizingly. “Sorry, you don’t get a choice.” He stood by Tony’s legs, and Tony attempted to kick him. “Okay, Wilkes, hold him down.”

Wilkes grabbed his kicking legs and pushed them against the stretcher, spreading them enough that the doctor could reach and do the job. Tony spat curses the entire time, attempting to free his legs because he knew his upper body wouldn’t be able to manage anything. “Eight centimeters,” the doctor murmured once he was done. “You’re in transition now.”

“Yeah, thanks, I didn’t need to know that,” Tony snapped.

The doctor gave him a side eye. “Yes, you did, Stark. You don’t have to like what I did, I’m self aware to realize that there is no reason you should, but it’s necessary.”

“Of course it’s necessary,” Tony scoffed, “but with my own doctor in a hospital. Not with a fucking HYDRA agent in a van in the middle of nowhere.”

The doctor shrugged. “Not much I can do about that. I’m just following orders.”

“You don’t have to,” Tony said immediately, jumping at the chance to get someone on his side. He was being manipulative, but at this point, he didn’t  _ care _ . “We can help you, too, you know. It’s not too late to turn back if HYDRA’s using you.”

“Cute,” Wilkes said.

“I’m not having doubts about who I’m working for, Stark,” the doctor said coldly, sharing a smirk with Wilkes.

Well, it was worth a try. Tony had known it was a reach, though.

The two walked past his gurney to the front of the van,. “Where we at?” Wilkes said to whoever was driving in the front. Tony twisted his head as much as he could. The door was open, so he could hear the response.

“We’re getting close to some town now. Should only be a few more minutes.”

_ A town _ . Tony knew he had to get rid of them right now, because he could probably get some help in the town. He started to push himself up, struggling through another contraction. Tony bit his lip, trying not to make any noise.

“Don’t drive through it,” the doctor warned.

Twenty seconds into the contraction, Tony found the leverage to push himself up and drop his legs to the floor. Standing on his wounded foot and leg hurt, but the majority of the pain was drowned out by the contraction.

Twenty-one. Tony formed the gauntlets out of the nanoparticles, spreading like red glitter up to his elbows.

Twenty-two. He took several steps forward, just in time for the doctor to turn around.

Twenty-three. The doctor lurched forward, meeting Tony’s repulsor blast in the chest.

Twenty-four. The doctor fell backwards into Wilkes, sending them both to the floor of the van.

Twenty-five. Tony formed a boot with the nanites.

Twenty-six. He sent the boot straight into Wilkes’ head, knocking him out cold.

Twenty-seven. Tony walked forward as the van screeched to a halt, grabbing onto the wall to keep his balance.

Twenty-eight. He headed through the door, turning straight to the driver who swore and fumbled to release his seatbelt.

Twenty-nine. Tony landed a punch on his temple, knocking him unconscious.

Thirty. Tony breathed heavily, sinking down onto his knees as the pain caught up to him.

He took several deep breaths, following the breathing exercises that Dr. Nkosi had gone over with him. He could hear the rushing of his blood, nearly blocking off every sound except for a  faint voice muffled by static. Tony turned his head towards the dashboard, still overcome with pain.

_ “–Stevenson, are you there? Do you copy? Wilkes? David? Does anyone copy?” _

Tony stared at it, wondering what he should do.

There was a bitten off curse, and then,  _ “We’re coming to your location. Don’t know what the hell is going on, but you better answer soon if there’s nothing wrong.” _

The radio turned off.

Shit.

Shit shit shit shit shit. Tony didn’t have a lot of time, since he didn’t know where the reinforcements were coming from. There was no way he could stay in the van now, so his remaining choice was to leave it and get to the town on foot. While in labor.

Tony was having a great day, absolutely nothing was wrong.

As the contraction let off, he grabbed onto the seat and used it to stand up.

The driver was still unconscious, his head lying on the steering wheel. Tony rifled through his pockets, searching for a phone. Nothing. Who the hell didn’t have a phone in this day and age?

Another contraction came up, and Tony gritted his teeth, trying not to scream. The last time he’d felt pain this intense was–probably when he broke his leg and proceeded to walk around on it because, what a fucking surprise, he had been kidnapped and had had to escape on his own.

Tony forced himself to move through the pain, when all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball. He knew the only reason he even could move was because this wasn’t the first time he’d been forced to work through severe pain.

He retreated into the back of the van, where the doctor was still lying on top of Wilkes. He searched their pockets, too, and came up empty. Apparently, HYDRA had something against phones. Goddammit. If he had had more time, he could probably use the radio to contact JARVIS, if he was back online, or hack through one of the Avengers’ comms.

There was no use thinking about that now, though. Instead, Tony focused on any supplies he would potentially need.

There was a bag lying around that he could use, and he looked through several compartments for blankets, knowing the baby would get cold, but also because there were pretty much only trees outside and he was not sitting on the bare ground. He found five towels, which were good enough.

Tony then looked through the doctor’s medical instruments for anything sharp he could use to cut the cord. There were two scalpels, which Tony breathed a sigh of relief for, because he really didn’t want to use the one that the doctor had used on him and therefore wasn’t sterile. There was also one of those plastic bulb things that Tony knew people used to clean out babies’ noses. He would probably need that.

He also looked for snacks. Surely the agents must have gotten hungry, right? Who knew how long they needed to drive. There was a half eaten bag of chips in the front, which Tony took since it was better than nothing. A bit more rummaging rewarded him with several granola bars and two more bags of chips, as well as a few bottles of water.

Tony also found his shirt, which was clean enough for the circumstances. For now, he’d keep the hospital gown on since he had it on anyway, but he’d eventually change into the shirt. The one saving grace about the gown was that it could be closed from the back and therefore didn’t leave his fat ass hanging out. Tony also found his briefs, which were...basically a lost cause.

It only took Tony a few minutes to collect his stuff, and once he figured he was prepared as he could be, he forced himself to leave the van and wander into the forest before the labor went too far.

Five minutes after he left the van, Tony realized he didn’t have shoes, which was dumb on his part. He should have taken one of the agent’s, no matter how sweaty they were and how stupid he would look. Who knew what gross parasites he was picking up while walking around in dirt barefoot? Still, it was too late to go back and so he walked, even as contractions that felt as though he were ripping from the inside hit him. Tony noticed there was a bit of blood leaking down his legs, which was going to be a problem. Hopefully they didn’t have dogs or anything.

Since he was walking blindly, Tony had no idea whether he was close to civilization or not. For all he knew, he was walking in circles. Even if there was a town nearby, Tony had to have wasted at least an hour in this damn forest. He was also severely slowed down by the obvious fact that he was heavily pregnant and in labor.

Tony gasped suddenly, feeling as though the baby had just dropped. A second later, he was hit by the worst contraction yet as well as the bizarre urge to push. He couldn’t really explain it beyond it feeling like he needed to shit, but obviously, that was not true (though he’d heard horror stories about labor).

But the baby was coming out now, and Tony was on the verge of screaming in frustration. This was  _ really  _ not the time–and that was the understatement of the century. He was supposed to be in the tower’s medical wing with Steve and James holding onto both of his hands and encouraging him, and later he would see Pepper and Rhodey and Peter as they cooed over the tiny and perfect bundle cradled in his arms. He was  _ not  _ supposed to be in a fucking forest like he was back in prehistoric times.

But honestly, Tony was not at all surprised. Practically everything else in his life went wrong in one way or another so it wasn’t a shock to see that he was now all alone giving birth in the middle of nowhere.

Tony grabbed onto a tree, sinking down onto his knees and searching for one of the towels in his bag. He laid it out and then sat down on it, leaning his back against the trunk. Instantly, the whiteness began to stain red with blood. Tony moaned and threw his head back, wanting to push but not sure if it was the right time.

By this point, he didn’t even care if some poor hiker found him like this, as long as there was someone there that could potentially help him. Though he doubted they’d want to get involved in this mess.

Tony bit his lip every time he wanted to scream, knowing HYDRA may be able to hear him. Eventually, the urge to push got too strong and he beared down. Tony had no idea whether anything was working, if he was supposed to be able to feel the baby going downwards. He’d been briefed on what the labor may entail, but that was with the assumption that he’d still have his obstetrician with him.

He took several deep breaths, in through his nose and out through his mouth, trying to breathe through the pain. Eventually, the contraction cut off and Tony relaxed. But there was only about half a minute before the contraction came back, startling Tony enough that he let out a cry. 

“Oh, god,” he panted, fearful that someone had heard him, but no one came in the next few minutes so he let down his guard slightly.

For the next...honestly, Tony had lost track of time, he was in so much pain. He continued pushing every time he got the urge, biting his hand through each contraction, to the point that it started bleeding. He had no idea whether he was getting anywhere, if he was supposed to feel something beyond excruciating pain, if he was doing everything wrong.

He did it anyway.

There was another contraction, and Tony pushed as hard as he could. Suddenly, the stretch seemed so much worse. Unsure of how else to check, he reached down and found what was probably the baby’s head. That was...kind of weird.

He pushed again, and oh god it was so much worse now. Tony felt a white-hot stretch, almost as though the baby wouldn’t fit through him, and then just as suddenly it stopped. He panted, sitting up straighter and reaching down to cradle the baby despite the various bodily fluids collected on him. Tony desperately rifled through the bag for the bulb and cleaned the baby’s mouth and nose of mucus once he found it. There was a terrifying moment where he thought the baby wasn’t breathing, but then his mouth opened and he let out a piercing wail.

“Oh my god,” Tony whispered, clutching the baby closer to his chest. “Oh baby, oh my baby boy. ‘S fine, you’re fine, you’re fine, I’m here.” The baby continued crying, but as Tony spoke to him his wails lessened in volume, until he was quiet and dozing peacefully in Tony’s arms.

Tony carefully, very carefully, maneuvered around so that he was holding onto Baby with one arm, and pulled the bag over to him. He took out another towel and gently began cleaning his baby–his baby boy, alive and in his arms.

The baby let out a displeased noise, but Tony shushed him as he began cleaning the newborn’s mouth and nose properly, wanting to make sure there was no chance of him being unable to breathe. His head shot up at a rustling in a nearby bush, tightening his arms around the baby, but nothing appeared.

_ Probably just an animal, _ Tony told himself. He looked back down at the baby, who was squirming and waving his fists angrily.

Tony remembered how his doctor and every website he had gone on had stressed skin-to-skin contact, and pulled down his gown enough that his baby was pressed against his bare chest.

Baby sighed, calming down and melting into the embrace. For Tony, it was as though a fire had lit inside of his heart, spreading over every part of his body and warming him up from the inside. Now Tony understood that “rush of love” new mothers kept talking about.

Tony wanted to stay in this little bubble with his baby forever, but he knew they were in danger and that he could only stay here as long as the afterbirth, the only thing tying them together now, and then he had to move on.

Tony could feel the contractions again, but strangely enough they didn’t hurt. They were more like the Braxton Hicks ones he felt around his third trimester. Eventually he felt the urge to push, and the afterbirth came out, breaking the last connection tying him and his baby together. Tony was almost regretful, in a way, that that had to happen. He couldn’t ever explain it, but Baby had been safe and protected in his womb. They were...connected, in the deepest, most intimate way possible.

Baby had literally grown inside of Tony’s stomach. He had  _ grown inside of Tony’s stomach. _ That was not something Tony could simply get over, and not just for the obvious reasons.

With a strange, melancholic feeling, Tony grabbed the scalpel anyway and carefully cut through the cord one or two inches from where it was connected to the baby’s tummy.

He was so exhausted, on the verge of passing out, but he knew he couldn’t do that now. He had stayed as long as the afterbirth hadn’t come out, but now he needed to move before anyone found him. There probably wasn’t enough time to change, either. Tony wrapped the baby up in another towel, slung the bag across his back, and stood up, the baby clutched tight to his chest. He glanced behind him, wondering what he should do with the mess of blood and other...things. He would have just thrown it into a bush, but he was scared that HYDRA would find it and use the DNA for nefarious things.

Tony remembered that he still had the nanoparticles, and formed a gauntlet on the arm he wasn’t holding Baby with. He hesitated. This was not the sort of thing he should be doing with a newborn in his arm. Gently, reluctantly, he laid down the baby behind him. Immediately, his arms felt empty, instincts screaming at him to protect his child, and it didn’t help that Baby promptly began crying. Fighting the urge to pick up and cuddle his baby, he turned back and shot a powerful laser beam at the towel. In less than minute, everything was disintegrated.

Maybe he was being paranoid, but in his line of work Tony felt that it was well-deserved. The nanites went back into his arc reactor, and Tony knelt down to pick his wailing baby up. He shushed him, rocking the newborn until his sobs stopped.

Then, with shaking legs, he began walking.

Tony couldn’t say how long he was walking this time, too focused on his baby and the fact that he had given birth. Holy fuck,  _ he had given birth _ . His child was finally here, under less than ideal circumstances, but he was here.

And Tony was in love already. He didn’t know it was possible to love a being this much, but somehow, this tiny little human had captured every bit of his heart just by existing. Tony knew, without a doubt, that he would absolutely destroy anyone that attempted to harm his baby.

After about fifteen minutes, the baby began whimpering and squirming. Tony looked down at his arms. “Oh, baby, what’s wrong now?” But his voice wasn’t enough to calm Baby, and Tony brought him closer. “Are you hungry?”

Why was he insisting on talking to the baby when he couldn’t even understand him?

Tony figured that was probably the case, though, and lowered the front of his gown, revealing his full...breasts…they weren’t really breasts, per se, but the nipples were larger and darker, and his chest itself had grown soft and swollen–and it had definitely gotten larger. He’d probably need to wear some sort of bra just to keep it from leaking all the damn time, which was not something Tony had ever imagined he’d do, ever. At least, not when he was sober.

Tony held the baby close to one nipple, and mercifully the baby latched on. He’d heard of some people having trouble getting the baby to breastfeed at first, and that was the last thing he needed right now.

Tony wasn’t exactly sure what to expect, but he had assumed it would hurt a little bit, at least in the beginning. It didn’t, however. If anything, it was kind of relieving.

Still weird, though.

It wasn’t long until the baby was full, which made sense considering how tiny he was. Though he had felt huge coming out. Either way, Tony figured he should burp the baby, and had he been more prepared he would have put a towel on his shoulder, but there was no going back now.

Luckily, the baby didn’t spit up at all, and Tony cradled him against his chest again. “You’re a good baby, aren’t you?” he cooed, because he was alone and if he wanted to coo at his baby it was his damn right. “The best baby, so well-behaved for me.”

He really was a good baby though, barely crying and everything. Wait, that...that was okay, right? It didn’t mean there was a problem with him? Tony would have to ask as soon as he got help.

Baby’s eyes opened, and stared up at Tony. They were that watery blue right now that all newborns had, but they could change later on.

“Hey, baby,” he said, smiling. This was honestly a day from hell but at least he got his baby out of it. The baby blinked, still staring intently at him. “You know me, don’t you? I’m your…” Tony realized he was still unsure of what title he was supposed to take. “Parent,” he finished.

Tony realized he had stopped walking, and started up again. Only five minutes later, he spotted a house and Tony could have cried in relief. He hastened his speed, running purely on adrenaline at this point. Hopefully they would be home.

Tony knocked on the door urgently, and a woman opened it, looking shocked and confused once she realized who he was. He took a deep breath, on the verge of begging now that he had a chance at help. “Help me, please. I need help.”

* * *

Turned out he was in fucking Vermont, on the outskirts of some town that he immediately forgot the name of.

The woman, Mary, and her husband, Paul, were as hospitable as they could be, letting him take their clothes and forcing him to join their dinner. He sat there, Baby still cradled in his arms, answering all the questions they had. It was a good thing they had made him stay for dinner, as he was absolutely ravenous–he hadn’t eaten since that morning, and as it turned out, giving birth took a lot of him.

“So, how you got here…” Paul prompted.

“Oh, I got kidnapped by HYDRA,” Tony said in between bites.

Mary nodded. “We knew that part, it’s on the news, but how did you get away from them?”

Tony should have figured it was on the news. “I have this, uh, advancement in the suit, so it’s always with me. I mean, obviously I didn’t wear the whole thing, but I used the gauntlets against the HYDRA agents.”   
  
They both stared at him. Their daughter just kept smearing food all over her face. “So you  _ fought  _ the agents?” Paul asked. 

Tony furrowed his brow, unsure of where this was going. “Yes?”

“Weren’t you in labor then?” Mary said.

Oh, now he saw their point. “Well, I didn’t really have another option.”

Mary shook her head. “I know you’re Iron Man and all, but that–that is remarkable.”

Tony usually tried not to get too snarky with civilians when he could tell they were being genuine, and besides, he had a different public image compared to pre-Afghanistan. He ducked his head and simply said, “Thanks,” rather than anything else.

Half an hour later, Mary was driving him to the hospital while he borrowed her phone to call Steve. Baby was in a baby carrier that the couple had found from somewhere, and Tony was seated next to him in the back, not wanting the baby to be out of his sight for one second.

It took a few seconds before he picked up. “Who is this and how did you get this number? We’re busy with somethin–”

“Steve, it’s me.”

_ “...Tony? Baby, is that you?” _

“Yeah, it is.”

_ “Oh my God, sweetheart, are you okay? Is the baby okay?” _

“We’re both fine, Steve, don’t worry. I got away from HYDRA before the baby was born, now this nice lady is driving me to the hospital–uh, you can track my location from this phone call.”   
  
_ “Already on it,”  _ Steve said.

“Okay, great, I’ll be at the hospital for whatever town this is. Somewhere in Vermont. Steve,” Tony said. “The baby...I, uh, I had him. He’s out, now.”

There was a long stretch of silence, enough that Tony wondered if they had been disconnected. And then,  _ “You...you had the baby?”  _ Steve’s voice sounded thick and clogged, almost as if he were–

“Are you...crying?”

Another pause, and then Steve very clearly sobbed. Tony’s heart broke in two. He’d never heard or seen Steve cry before and now he knew that had been for the best.  _ “I wanted to be there for the birth, and I know it’s dumb that I’m crying, but I was looking forward to it so much, and–” _ _   
_ _   
_ “Honey, no, it’s not dumb. I…” Tony let out a laugh. “What can I say? You still have to meet him. You have to meet your baby. James, too. I need you guys here.”   
  
_ “I’m sorry all this happened,” _ Steve said, voice still shaky.  __ “If I hadn’t–”   
  
Tony immediately cut him off. “Don’t go there, Steve. We didn’t expect HYDRA to be this desperate, and besides, you didn’t have any other choice but to go fight those giant robots or whatever they were.”

_ “I still could have–” _

“I don’t want to hear it, Steve.”   
  
A loud sigh resonated within Tony’s ear, and then,  _ “Fine. I won’t say anything.” _

Tony knew he hadn’t changed Steve’s mind on anything, but he knew it was the best he was going to get for now. “Where’s James?”

_ “Huh?” _   
  
“James. Can I talk to him?”   
  
_ “Bucky? Uh...he’s not here right now. He’s been locked up in his room since HYDRA took you. I tried to talk to him, but he’s not responding. I can tell him you’re fine, I’m sure that’ll help.” _

Tony inwardly groaned. Now he was going to have to deal with two stubborn supersoldiers with a penchant for unnecessarily blaming themselves. He ignored the fact that he did the exact same thing. No one had ever said Tony wasn’t a hypocrite. “Tell him the same thing I told you. It’s not your fault, and it’s not his fault either. Only HYDRA’s, okay?”

_ “Yeah, definitely. I don’t blame him at all, don’t worry.” _

Tony smiled, aching to see the two of them. He wanted to talk to Steve forever, until he could see him in person, but he was sure Mary would want her phone back. “Steve, I’m going to end the call now. Come soon, please?”

_ “Of course,”  _ came the earnest reply.  _ “Love you, Tony. You’ve done so well, been so strong–” _

“Love you, too,” Tony said with a smile in his voice, stopping Steve before he got started.

_ “Love you,”  _ Steve said again, just as Tony ended the call. He let out a huff of laughter, turning to look at his son, who was sleeping soundly in the carrier. He reached out and gently traced his soft, chubby cheek with a finger, and looked up as Mary spoke.

“Everything alright, then?”

Tony looked back down at the baby, sure there was a sappy look on his face. “As much as it can be.”

* * *

Tony was immediately taken into a room once he was at the hospital. Well, actually, the nurses had stared at him in disbelief for a few minutes, before finally snapping out of it and getting him settled.

They wanted to take his baby away to do some tests, but Tony, untrusting of everyone, pitched a fit, insisting that they keep him in Tony’s sight. Luckily, they seemed to be used to that sort of thing, and easily performed all the tests while Tony watched from his hospital bed. They also checked Tony for tears, which he hadn’t even noticed, but apparently he had some minor ones.

Soon the baby was back in Tony’s arms and though there was a perfectly good cot right beside his bed, Tony was unwilling to sleep and leave his baby unattended. He hoped Steve and the others would come soon, because the only reason Tony was even still awake was sheer will and experience from years of sleep deprivation.

He was waiting for a doctor to come when the door opened. Tony automatically looked up, guessing the woman who had just come in was his doctor. She had black hair that ended in a perfectly straight line just above her shoulders, but the most remarkable thing about it was the strange, emerald sheen it had. Tony figured it must be some new hair trend.

“Hello, Mr. Stark, I’m Doctor Sanderson,” the woman said with a smile that looked pasted on. Not that uncommon when it came to doctors, but Tony got an unsettling feeling from it. After the day he’d had, however, he didn’t think the paranoia was unwarranted. “It’s nice to meet you.”

“Nice to meet you, too,” Tony said hesitantly, tightening his arms around his baby. 

Doctor Sanderson looked down at the clipboard she was holding. “So, from what I’m seeing both you and the baby are healthy.” She smiled again. “Perfect. Makes my job easier.”

Tony frowned. “And what is that exactly?”

Doctor Sanderson blinked at him. “Well, making sure nothing happens to you, of course.” She came closer, standing next to Tony’s bed. “I’d like to do some more tests on him. It shouldn’t take too long.”

“Only if you can do them here,” Tony said, “I just don’t–want–I was told he was fine and healthy, so far.”

She shook her head. “Of course, but I still need to make sure. And I’m sorry, I can’t. Again, it shouldn’t take too long.”

Tony straightened up. “Well, then, I’ll come with you.”

“Patients aren’t allowed,” Doctor Sanderson said automatically.

_ “Please,”  _ Tony said, “I just want to make sure nothing happens to him. I mean, I was just kidnapped today so that my kidnappers could get the baby. You have to understand.” He was being obnoxious, he knew, but he couldn’t take any more chances at least until Steve and James arrived. Tony just hoped he wasn’t making a huge mistake–that there actually was something wrong with Baby and his stubbornness would lead to problems.

“Fine,” Doctor Sanderson said, a scowl crossing her face. She didn’t seem to have much of a bedside manner, but Tony had had worse doctors. “Can I at least hold him?”

Tony weighed the risks, and decided that as long as Baby was within his sight, it shouldn’t hurt. He nodded, and carefully handed over the sleeping infant.

Doctor Sanderson smiled again, looking down at the baby. “Well, he definitely seems healthy. Congratulations, Mr. Stark.”

“Thank you,” Tony said, relaxing a bit.

“No problem,” Doctor Sanderson said, raising a perfectly manicured eyebrow. She set down Baby in the cot next to Tony’s bed, and began wheeling it away.

“Wait–where are you going?” Tony demanded.

Doctor Sanderson sighed. “I need to take him. I promise you, you’ll see him again. It’ll just take a little bit.”

Tony lurched out of bed, approaching her rapidly. He was starting to realize that, maybe, he was just a bit in shock from everything that had happened. “No, just–just wait, okay? He’s fine, I swear, just–stay here, please.” He continued babbling, panic taking over any chance of acting logically.

Tony didn’t have time to react before a blinding pain struck him in the face. His eyes watered and blood erupted out of his nose, and he realized that she had just hit him. “Wha–you hit me,” he said in disbelief, staring up at her.

Sanderson looked at him in distaste. “You made me do it.”

Tony immediately realized that meant she was not who she said she was, that both he and his baby were in danger. HYDRA had found him again. He had never been so–frustrated before. 

Blood spattered onto the floor as he lunged at her, attempting to tackle her to the ground. In one, sinuous movement, Sanderson sidestepped him, grabbed the collar of his gown, and threw him to the ground.

Tony pushed himself back up. She was simply standing there, staring at him–almost as though this was a game for her, that she didn’t even see him as a threat. Despite that, he threw a punch at her.

Sanderson easily grabbed his arm, twisted it harshly, and then let go and took hold of his hair before he fell over. She stared at his messy, bloody face and sighed, dropping him onto the ground. “I didn’t want it to come to this.”

Then she repeatedly smashed his head into the floor, until stars blinded his vision and darkness took over.

* * *

Tony awake with a gasp. His head was pounding as though he had drank several bottles of alcohol the night before, and it was difficult to breathe through his nose. The events of what had happened before he fell unconscious came back to him and a jolt went through his chest. “M’ baby,” he croaked, despair crashing over him like waves at the beach. His baby was gone.

“Tony? Tony, are you awake?” That was Steve’s voice. Sweet, perfect, loving Steve.

With difficulty, Tony turned his head to the side. Steve was staring at him worriedly with those angelic baby blues. And in his arms–“My baby,” Tony gasped, scrutinizing every part of him–his rosy, pink cheeks, his cute, button nose, his tiny, soft fingers.

“He’s fine, Tony,” Steve said gently. “We got him in time. The lady, whatever her name is, is in custody. I don’t think she was expecting us.”

After everything that had happened, Tony was so tired, so exhausted, that he couldn’t help but burst into tears of relief that it was over. Steve was here. His baby was safe.

“Oh, sweetheart,” Steve whispered, caressing his uninjured cheek.

“Today was horrible,” Tony cried. He attempted to push himself up, never mind that it made his headache worse, and realized his arm was in a sling. There was also gauze tightly wrapped around his temples.

“Careful, Tony,” Steve warned, helping him up. Tony immediately pressed himself as close as he could against Steve, sobbing against his shoulder. Steve wrapped his free arm around his waist in comfort.

“I’m so tired, Steve,” Tony said. “I–I was all alone, and I had my baby–they wanted to use him to experiment on. Our  _ baby _ . I–I can’t–I never want to go through that again.”

Steve rubbed circles into his back. “Yeah, I’ll bet. Just rest, baby. I’m here, Bucky is here, and we’re not going away.”

Tony sniffled, perking up. “James?”

“I’m here, Tony,” James said from the foot of the bed. He looked upset. Tony blinked, on the verge of crying again.

He reached out an arm towards James. “James, come here. See your baby.”

“I did, already.” James gave him a crooked smile, seemingly near tears himself. Despite his words, he still came closer, resting his flesh hand on the baby’s tummy.

They stayed like that for a while, completely silent and absorbed in this little, bizarre family they had become. Tony separated eventually. His head was still aching, and he realized that he wasn’t on any painkillers. Not that he minded, what with his alcoholism, but it would be pretty fucking useful right about now.

Never mind that. There were other things he could focus on. “Can I have him?” Tony asked Steve.

Steve blinked. “Oh, of course! Here.” He maneuvered the baby into Tony’s own arms, helping him with the sling. Tony immediately relaxed once Baby was settled in his arms, feeling as though a tight rope around his chest had finally loosened.

“Hey, baby boy,” Tony whispered tenderly. “I missed you.” He glanced up. Steve and James were both watching him with soft looks on their faces. Looking closer, Tony realized there was slight discomfort in James’ eyes. He didn’t look as happy as Tony would have thought he should be. Tony could guess as to the reason why. “Steve, can I speak to James alone?”

Steve looked at James, who just looked even more uncomfortable. Steve nodded, getting up. “I should probably tell the doctor that you’re up, anyway.”   
  
Once he left, James turned back to Tony. His normally clear, blue eyes were a stormy gray, and his expression was of pure devastation.

“What’s wrong?” Tony asked, alarmed.

James shook his head. “I failed. I promised you that I would protect you, and I couldn’t do that.”

“Hey, no hard feelings,” Tony said awkwardly, “It’s not the first time I’ve been let down.” It was meant to be a lighthearted joke, but it only seemed to make James more upset. He recoiled, eyes darkening. His head tilted downwards, so that his hair partially obscured his face. “Shit, that was a bad joke, I’m sorry.”

“But it’s true,” James mumbled. “You deserve so much more. Both you and Baby.”

“I–I–” What could Tony say to that? “No, we’re...good. Trust me. You’ve done more than enough for us, James. You’re here, and that’s all that matters.”

James lifted his head, looking stricken. “I can’t–” He shook his head again, coming to stand right next to the bed so that he was looming over Tony. His eyes were watering as he stared down at the baby, stroking his head gently. Tony wondered if he’d gotten a chance to hold him yet. 

“You–you wanna hold him?”

James inhaled sharply. “Nah, it’s fine,” he said, despite the clear desire in his eyes.

“No, seriously,” Tony said, moving the baby so that James would have no choice but to take him. “You’re his father, you should hold him.” He blinked in surprise when James moved back.

A tear streamed down his face. “Please don’t make me do this.”

“James?” Tony said warily.

James sighed and wiped away the tear, turning his head away for a moment. Eventually he went back to Tony’s side. “You’ve never looked more beautiful,” he said softly, his flesh hand coming up to frame Tony’s face.

Tony considered the sweaty and greasy hair that was tangled in all sorts of directions and sticking to his face, the blood still smeared all over his face, his still huge but now flabby and deflated bump. “I’m choosing to take that as a compliment.”

James huffed a laugh, and before Tony could react, could even think of what was going on, James leaned down and brushed his lips against Tony’s. It was barely a kiss, couldn’t even be called chaste with how light and short it was.

“I love you,” James said, “and I’m sorry.” Then he turned, walking away from Tony and out of his life.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> DO NOT WORRY BUCKY WILL BE BACK SOON. This is a Stuckony fic, and although it's taking a while to get to that part, it will happen for certain.
> 
> Follow me on Tumblr at scaryy-noodles :)


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